All I can say is that I feel your pain as a wife and as a mother. i cannot imagine how difficult it must be to be a stay at home mom taking care of two children with special needs and a husband who is obiously depressed himself. I am also dealing with issues that I feel are out of my control and heavily rely on God to help me through it all. I read Psalm 27, 91 almost everyday before I go to sleep and I cry out to God for help. God will give you wisdom if you seek his help. I pray that God confort you during this difficullt time.