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I am a busy mom of a 2 and 3 year old. Our 3 year old has recently been diagnosed with autism and our son has conductive hearing loss. because of all this, we decided that it would be best if I became a stay hat home mom. I also have SLE and RA. The majority of the time I am in pain and taking care of two special needs kids. My husband is not sympathetic at all. He sees me crying and just walks past; he is dry and cold. The kids broke something that was very near and dear to me ( silly I know) and I broke down. I have been so stressed out that this pushed me over the edge. My husband just said " oh well" and walked away. He is cold and distant with the kids and wont really play with them. If he gets up before i do he forgets to fed the kids or change their diaper. I'm afraid to leave him alone with them because he doesn't seem to care for them anymore. He would NEVER hurt them , but I fear that he can't handle them. I am ready to leave and feel that this marriage is over, but want the kids to grow up in a stable home. What should I do.... Also, He never cares if i am upset of comforts me, but he wants sex every night. If I turn him down because I'm hurting, he gets angry. I'm so tired of all of this. Any advice?
 

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All I can say is that I feel your pain as a wife and as a mother. i cannot imagine how difficult it must be to be a stay at home mom taking care of two children with special needs and a husband who is obiously depressed himself. I am also dealing with issues that I feel are out of my control and heavily rely on God to help me through it all. I read Psalm 27, 91 almost everyday before I go to sleep and I cry out to God for help. God will give you wisdom if you seek his help. I pray that God confort you during this difficullt time.
 

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What makes you think the kids are in a stable home now? Are they going to grow up seeing a happy mother and father or are they going to see a father who couldn't care less for them and a bitter mother crying most of the time?

I'd suggest marriage counseling but not sure he'd go. If he doesn't then get some individual counseling for yourself.
 

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I suspect your husband's desire for sex every night is because he needs something in his life which makes him feel good.

You are both obviously going through a very difficult time. Very understandably. I do not how we would have coped (though we have had our own difficulties at times).

If you are religious,then yes, as justneedtotalk says, try prayer. You may not get what you want but I firmly believe we are always heard.

As a man of 60 perhaps I can quote my family motto - All things pass. It may or may not be of comfort but it is certainly true.

Try to talk to your husband.
 
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