Need Help Alone

Thank you everyone for the advice. I asked him to go to counseling and to quit drinking I know he has underlying depression and had a pretty screwed up childhood. He says he loves and will change but i dont see that happening. I told him he has me on an emotional edge and i dont appreciate him telling me what i should look like, im very attractive and i think that worries him so he puts me down. I lived through this same situation with my father and I saw what my mother went through and I should have known better but I was a single mom with 2 kids and he was there for me and helped me financialy and also helped me so i could go back to school. Then we had our daughter. Who he adores and i try to tell him he is teaching her its ok for a man to talk to her they way he speaks to me and he agrees its not ok but keeps doing it. I thought moving to Florida would change him but it didnt since he hasnt made any friends here he is even worse since he is bored. I tell him to get a hobby and he says we dont have $ for that, but we have 10$ a day for beer?! He does make dinner every night an does do laundry. So sometimes I feel like i dont give him credit for the good he does. When we lived in NJ he was never home so I dont think I had to spend as much time with him as I do now. He drank everyday in NJ and was always at a friends house. Which he would come home drunk and beligerant. he always tells me "well then dont say something stupid when im drinking and i wont explode!" REALLY! I know im no angel I have a Jersey girl attitude but there is never a need to be so damn nasty to your wife and kids. I never put him or anyone else down. I tell him we are nobody to judge anybody. But no he has to tell others how they should live. He is very generous with helping others, like he always lets his grandpa borrow $ and even our neighbor but i feel he is Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. I have made a few great friends who know the situation and tell me to get out also. Sometimes i feel like he does have a sweet side...he buys me wonderfull things and would give me anything i ask for. He always goes to work and keeps our home beatiful. He is very high strung and the ocd(cleaning) is getting worse. As for my ex...well i left him for pretty much the same reasons, we dont really get along to well. Ive always seemed to go for Mr. Wrong..I liked the bad boys. My ex is now is a great father to his boys. We went through a 2 year battle for me to move to florida that wasnt pretty. I feel quilty for that as well my kids want to move back so bad. Here in Florida I have a home paid for outright here and a great job so im scared if i go back and i cant find a job what will happen to me and the kids? we are used to living middle class. Ugghhh! I know i am eventualy leaving him i have a few things i need to get in order to make sure me and the kids are ok before i leap. Fix my credit, save some money. Its a sad situation but i know i cannot spend the rest of my life with him. I need to find myself as well. I dont think i have ever given myself time to heal from my father and my ex so i keep jumping into bad relationships. Thanks again everyone!!!!

Its ok I dont mind the harshness. I posted on here for a reason and I expect some harsh responses. To be truthfully honest I have a plan and its all falling into place. I will not uproot my children and bring them into them unknown. As a mother I am suspose to protect them and thats what I a m doing. I protected my 2 boys from their father when they were babies and left for the fact that he was a cociane addict and alcoholic. He is doing much better now and is a good father but not a provider. My husband isnt the greatest but is willing to make changes. He is leaving Florida to go back to NJ to find work so we can move back to where we are from and everyone we know. With him gone I will see if it makes a difference for the kids and how they feel about him being gone. Its hard to just up and leave. We are both stressed out to the max here in Florida when we thought we would be better off. We tried and we failed so its time to go back. I am going to see what the future holds for us. My kids are okay, I have talked to them and my husband has spoken to them and apologized for his bad behavior. I would leave asap if they were in any danger trust me. I lived with an abusive father and I wished my mother had left and she didnt. Thanks for your advise.