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Discussion Starter #1
I need help on a really awkward situation . My wife and I have been married for 8 years. We were very young when we got married, both 18. Things have been great, get on really well.

Problem is her best friend. She is really inappropriate around me. She touches me when my wife isn't looking, says things to me she shouldn't be saying. Once she went to kiss me and for 2 seconds I forgot myself and kissed back, I immediately pulled away. But now I feel like I have cheated. I don't know how to deal with this. My wife and this women are best friends, they have known each other all her life, it would really hurt her to know how she is acting. I don't know why she is doing it.
 

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you have to shut down this friend immediately and state clearly that she is crossing boundaries that make you and your wife uncomfortable. Do not put yourself in situations that make you vulnerable. Don't hang out alone with her, don't exclusively text or email with her, etc

If she doesn't abide by that then you cut her out of your life
 

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I need help on a really awkward situation . My wife and I have been married for 8 years. We were very young when we got married, both 18. Things have been great, get on really well.

Problem is her best friend. She is really inappropriate around me. She touches me when my wife isn't looking, says things to me she shouldn't be saying. Once she went to kiss me and for 2 seconds I forgot myself and kissed back, I immediately pulled away. But now I feel like I have cheated. I don't know how to deal with this. My wife and this women are best friends, they have known each other all her life, it would really hurt her to know how she is acting. I don't know why she is doing it.
Well, you have cheated. The good news is it is not as bad as it could be. I would sit down with your wife and tell her what is going on. You need to make sure that you are never alone with her best friend again. I am going to warn you that she is going to be pissed off at you and her friend. She might even believe her friend if she lies and says that you pursued her. Be ready for a fight.
 

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You should bring your wife into the loop so that the two of you can be a united front.

If you try to deal with it on your own, your wife will see it as a betrayal. When you tell her about it, she may be suspicious of you, but you have to stand your ground & insist that her friend is a predator & the two of you have to work together to safeguard your marriage. Don't get defensive - her friend is doing this, not you. (You responded briefly to the kiss, but you're not in a really bad place yet.)

Insist that your wife see her friend for who she is and that she stand with you. If you work on it together from the start you have a much better chance of not letting it become a wedge between you.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Thanks for the advice guys. I would be really worried about telling my wife about this. I've asked the friend to stop acting the way she is, and she said we went doing anything wrong. Is she for real? I'm just worried about this. I don't know what she's after. Am I over reacting to this?
 

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You are not overreacting. This woman is a threat to your marriage and is not a true friend to your wife. She's a backstabber and your wife needs to know.

You should be more worried about your W finding out that you were keeping secrets from her.
 

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Nothing more needs to be said. Stop your squeamishness and tell your wife.

She'd be mad at you telling her?

Guess what, she be even more pissed if you DON'T and she finds out from someone else or catches you. Then she'll think you were wanting it so just let her know already.
 

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Thanks for the advice guys. I would be really worried about telling my wife about this. I've asked the friend to stop acting the way she is, and she said we went doing anything wrong. Is she for real? I'm just worried about this. I don't know what she's after. Am I over reacting to this?
Her moral compass is obviously BROKEN.

Don't make the mistake of not telling your wife. You run the risk of pissing this other woman off through rejection, and she can run straight to your wife and let her know "her truth" and all the sudden you were the one pursuing her, the one that kissed her, and that shes so sorry she didnt tell her earlier.

If this REALLY was just A KISS. Tell your wife.
 

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Think about setting up a video camera somewhere and tape the woman groping you

Then tell the wife all that has happened. Once you go to the tape, she'll believe you
 

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If you're worried about your wife losing a 'friend' if you tell her, then don't be - this woman is not 'best friend' material if she's chasing her best friend's husband. Tell your wife.

Don't be alone with this woman. ALWAYS have your wife within arms reach when you're around her friend, or make sure there are other people you know nearby and paying attention (i.e. engaged in conversation).
 

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Thanks for the advice guys. I would be really worried about telling my wife about this. I've asked the friend to stop acting the way she is, and she said we went doing anything wrong. Is she for real? I'm just worried about this. I don't know what she's after. Am I over reacting to this?
Do you realize that you are now conspiring with the "friend" to keep a secret from your wife? Think about that. When your wife finds out, and she will, this betrayal will be huge because you are sharing this "secret" with her so-called best friend.

Stop. Tell your wife everything now. Do not conspire with this other woman. Do not share a secret with her. Do not make things worse. Tell your wife. Now. Please.
 

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Nothing more needs to be said. Stop your squeamishness and tell your wife.

She'd be mad at you telling her?

Guess what, she be even more pissed if you DON'T and she finds out from someone else or catches you. Then she'll think you were wanting it so just let her know already.


This couldn't have been worded any better in my opinion. This is exactly what you need to do and/or think about. Great call Kasler
 

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Discussion Starter #15 (Edited)
They are like sisters, so close, I can't believe her friend is acting like this. I will stay away from her, make sure I'm never alone with her. This would devastate my wife I just don't want to do that to her.
 

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They are like sisters, so close, I can't believe her friend is acting like this. I will stay away from her, make sure I'm never alone with her. This would devastate Katie, I just don't want to do that to her.
You've been given your advice take it or don't

You seem deadset on not telling her so I don't know what you're asking for advice for in the first place.

Also your post is sounding somewhat fake at this point, and name dropping your wife didn't help.

On the off chance this is real. Your wife will get over it, period. If shes such a close friend you will undoubtedly be in close proximity with her frequently so your "I'll stay away" won't work and this will just blow up in your face.

Know what would devastate her more? Her thinking that her 'like a sister' friend is banging her husband.
 

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Based on the suggestions mentioned aboue, I think you KNOW what you have to do. If you choose to not bring your wife into this, you will pay for it later. Fess up!
 

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Discussion Starter #19
You've been given your advice take it or don't

You seem deadset on not telling her so I don't know what you're asking for advice for in the first place.

Also your post is sounding somewhat fake at this point, and name dropping your wife didn't help.

On the off chance this is real. Your wife will get over it, period. If shes such a close friend you will undoubtedly be in close proximity with her frequently so your "I'll stay away" won't work and this will just blow up in your face.

Know what would devastate her more? Her thinking that her 'like a sister' friend is banging her husband.
Didn't even realise I did that, edited.

It's not that I'm dead set against telling her, it's just that I'm worried about how she will react.
 
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