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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
my story,

my wife and i have been together for almost 9 years and married for almost 7. we have 2 wonderful kids together and have had our fair share of ups and downs.
the problems all started with me not being open and communicative throughout our relationship. i always became defensive and would say things that i never ment and that hurt emotionally. through all of this i have never wanted to be without her ever. i always tried to apologize for my wrong doings anytime i was wrong. i have had bad problems with not being open about intimacy between us which has created obvious issues.
so within the past 6 months things have gone down hill and i had no idea. we had a fight and i said things that really hurt her heart this time. i brought up the Divorce word and told her that i wasnt good enough for her. all things i regret saying and never ment at all. almost 3 months ago we got into an arguement and she told me that she is not in love with me anymore and that she wants out.
it made me realize how selfish and absurd ive been really all my life. i decided that it was time to educate myself and learn. i have read a few books (5 Love Languages, His Needs Her Needs, etc.) and i am currently doing The Love Dare daily as i have found these as great tools for myself. i have noticed a lot of change and improvements in myself along with many other people and friends telling me that man i have done something good for my life. i have left my wife alone about our relationship as much as i can (its always on my mind) and we have gone to counseling for a month now. i see as her going to the counseling as trying but other than that there is nothing. no sex, no affection, no calls or text's, etc.
sorry about this long drawn out thread but i am at a loss. not sure if i need to keep trying and showing her my love or to just not give a rats ass and let our marriage wash away.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
i have been correcting and fixing my issues myself the past 3-6 months. ive been able to identify some root causes of my own faults and behaviors and have corrected them and will continue to correct them and strive for a better me. PATIENCE is key to me in all aspects now as well as not being a selfish person. i have however thought about doing individual counseling to help address my old behaviors.
 

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Patience and conviction that you can change. You have had a long time to do a lot of damage. You have effectively turned her away and she is ready to walk away. She may never come back. You must continue to work on yourself with the idea that you will be a better person even if she won't come back to the relationship.

Have you read this book "Love Busters" . Love Busters If not I'm sure it will open your eyes like "HNHN" did. Keep working on your self and making deposits as she allows. Plan A as long as you can.
 
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