Hi, I am at a loss now and am wondering if I am overreacting, and that is why I am seeking your thoughts. I work in a senior management position in a government body. My husband is a former freelance journalist who fancies himself as a crusader against corruption and anti-government, etc. The reality is that he hasn't really worked properly as a journalist for quite a while. Therefore, he and his friend have set up a website where they post self-written articles blasting the work of the government agency where I work, amongst other articles. In particular, he writes very negatively against the Director of the agency who is my boss. These thoughts are simply his opinion and not fact. However, he signs his names to this articles and of course, it is obvious the writer is my husband. Mind you, my husband is not paid to do this work- it is all of his own initiative. When I ask him to stop it, as he is jeapordizing my work, he responds that he is a journalist and it is his right to write about whatever he wants. Help! I am the primary bread winner in our family and I can't afford to lose my job. At the same time, my husband and his friend continue to insist on their right to write whatever they want publicly about my job. By the way, my boss and my office are not corrupt, but they are high-profile. I can't imagine how to continue in this marriage as I can't seem to make my husband understand how much he is hurting me by his self-initiated website. There are many other issues in our marriage as well, such as the fact he doesn't seem to want to have sex except a few times a year, and despite my repeated requests, he still remains in contact with his former girlfriend. I am at a loss.....any help?
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He is not the one for you. I don't think there are any 2 people as wrong for each other.
He could write about anything else, why that ?
Did he write about the same issues before you married him?
yeah I agree since he has no job, kick him out
since he has so much disdain for you and your job...
let him go to work
and get his own place. He is more than insensitive, he seems to almost be going after you. Maybe he wants you to have no job like him ?
or he is trying to get you fired ?
He could write about anything else, why that ?
Did he write about the same issues before you married him?
yeah I agree since he has no job, kick him out
since he has so much disdain for you and your job...
let him go to work
and get his own place. He is more than insensitive, he seems to almost be going after you. Maybe he wants you to have no job like him ?
or he is trying to get you fired ?
Dear Rhea,
Thanks for your note. My husband always tells me that he is not in contact with her, but I saw the messages on his e-mail. Basically, she was his former girlfriend before we met, and she left him to marry someone else. That was ten years ago. A few years ago they made contact again. The messages I saw in the past years seemed to indicate a change in their "friendship". The message referred to how "I am laying here in bed thinking of you, as I often do", etc. He also admitted that when he was visiting New York he went to see her. At first when I asked him, he lied and said he didn't. Later on, after I found the e-mails, he admitted that he did meet her for a coffee. Anyhow, I was very unhappy with the tone of the messages I saw, and asked him to stop the contact as it was very upsetting. Also, there was no reason to be in contact with her as we live very far away from her. Shortly after he agreed to end contact with her, I saw that he called her (it was on our Skype account). At first he lied, and then he said that he called her to tell her that I had read his e-mails, etc. That was several months ago and I thought it was the end of the story.
Recently, he left his e-mail open accidently and I saw that he again was in contact with her, and had apologized for being out of touch. She wrote back that she had been thinking a lot about him. She also mentioned that, in fact, she was getting a divorce. Something he neglected to mention to me.
I guess the upshot is that she lives in a different country. I basically understand that he is not going to stop being in contact with her...
thanks for asking!
the
Thanks for your note. My husband always tells me that he is not in contact with her, but I saw the messages on his e-mail. Basically, she was his former girlfriend before we met, and she left him to marry someone else. That was ten years ago. A few years ago they made contact again. The messages I saw in the past years seemed to indicate a change in their "friendship". The message referred to how "I am laying here in bed thinking of you, as I often do", etc. He also admitted that when he was visiting New York he went to see her. At first when I asked him, he lied and said he didn't. Later on, after I found the e-mails, he admitted that he did meet her for a coffee. Anyhow, I was very unhappy with the tone of the messages I saw, and asked him to stop the contact as it was very upsetting. Also, there was no reason to be in contact with her as we live very far away from her. Shortly after he agreed to end contact with her, I saw that he called her (it was on our Skype account). At first he lied, and then he said that he called her to tell her that I had read his e-mails, etc. That was several months ago and I thought it was the end of the story.
Recently, he left his e-mail open accidently and I saw that he again was in contact with her, and had apologized for being out of touch. She wrote back that she had been thinking a lot about him. She also mentioned that, in fact, she was getting a divorce. Something he neglected to mention to me.
I guess the upshot is that she lives in a different country. I basically understand that he is not going to stop being in contact with her...
thanks for asking!
the
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I think you need to dump his ass.
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Doesn't matter if the stories are true or not...if it's an op-ed site then it's not libel...if he is mis-stating facts or telling lies about individuals then it's possibly libel but then again...if it's an opinion all bets are off
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If he is posting stuff that he could only have got from speaking to his wife, it could lead to a lawsuit. He is bad news. And in any case, she will get fired legal or not.
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Loretta,
Your story is very touching and your husband is extremely inconsiderate. I would suggest legal action against the website.
Reasons to dump him:
1. He is unemployed
2. He is unemployed and jeopardizing your job
3. He is having an affair
4. He lied to you
5. There is no intimacy
Your story is very touching and your husband is extremely inconsiderate. I would suggest legal action against the website.
Reasons to dump him:
1. He is unemployed
2. He is unemployed and jeopardizing your job
3. He is having an affair
4. He lied to you
5. There is no intimacy
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1,706 Posts
I am in agreement with the others...
it's an opinion piece, not liable.
He is jealous of your high profile job and can not handle he is the NOT the breadwinner.
There are plenty of things to write about, picking your office department is sniffing for trouble in the marriage he knows this.
Unfortunately for you, he is trying to get you to divorce him so he can get alimony from you.
He has to pay for this website, I hope he is not using your funds. If so Cut off the funds for the website, have his buddy pay for it and he can write for free.
He has trust issues. I would go see a lawyer, start moving your money to an account shared by you and another family member such as your mother, put it in Her name as the primary. Wait a few months then divorce him so he can not touch that money in the joint account with your mother.
See a lawyer and get your 'ducks in a row" before divorcing him. He will be a leach on you the rest of your life otherwise.
it's an opinion piece, not liable.
He is jealous of your high profile job and can not handle he is the NOT the breadwinner.
There are plenty of things to write about, picking your office department is sniffing for trouble in the marriage he knows this.
Unfortunately for you, he is trying to get you to divorce him so he can get alimony from you.
He has to pay for this website, I hope he is not using your funds. If so Cut off the funds for the website, have his buddy pay for it and he can write for free.
He has trust issues. I would go see a lawyer, start moving your money to an account shared by you and another family member such as your mother, put it in Her name as the primary. Wait a few months then divorce him so he can not touch that money in the joint account with your mother.
See a lawyer and get your 'ducks in a row" before divorcing him. He will be a leach on you the rest of your life otherwise.
:iagree:
Repeated requests ignored = "He could not give a rat's patootie about you or endangering your job".
Oh, BTW:
If you are working for the American Government, chances are the only way to get fired is if you died at work, when they discover you didn't break for lunch....
Dump him!
But also post comments to his page pointing out that his delusions are his own and you are not responsible.
I was a journalist 25 years ago. Tilting at windmills was an ego stroking thing. However, if someone is not making a living at it and using "journalism" to harm one's wife, one's own source of income, then I would guess that person is a disturbed and angry person.
Kick him out, make him earn his keep with this "journalistic" pursuit!
But also post comments to his page pointing out that his delusions are his own and you are not responsible.
I was a journalist 25 years ago. Tilting at windmills was an ego stroking thing. However, if someone is not making a living at it and using "journalism" to harm one's wife, one's own source of income, then I would guess that person is a disturbed and angry person.
Kick him out, make him earn his keep with this "journalistic" pursuit!
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