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Discussion Starter #1
Hello Everyone

My wife and I have been happily married fore 18 years and I have never suspected her of ever cheating on me until yesterday. We normally get home about the same time from work. Yesterday I had to stay late on which she had already known. She calls me at work and says she is leaving a few minutes early and was invited by one of her coworkers to their home to share a bottle of wine. I said ok and drive carefully she added strangely at the end of the convo call me when you're on your way home, still I thought nothing of the comment. I called her after getting off work and she said she was still driving to the coworkers home, oddly it didn't sound like she was inside of a car, was really quiet in the backgraound. I got home 40 minutes later and went into our bedroom and noticed a wet washed cloth where she wiped off in the private area(don't ask how I know this) and her underwear were in the hamper. 45 minutes later she return I noticed she had changed into shorts from her pants from work as well. Later I also saw when it was time for bed she had her lace underwear on. In addition to, the coworker lives a half hour away from us yet she was gone an approximately 1 1/2 hour. Must have drank the wine really fast if she really went there. I've been up all night really upset. I checked her cell phone call log online and saw she had talked to a mutual male friend of ours the day before while on her way to work at 7:15am for about twenty minutes. We haven't spoken to him in a long time and she has yet to tell me they talked on the phone. My wife cell is password protected so there is no way of me snooping on the phone to check text messages.

Afraid to really confront about my suspicion unless I have solid proof and my wife can be a real firestrom if accused of anything. Don't know what to do, any advice.

P.S. This is my very first post.
 

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Sorry you're here. But I believe you need more evidence.

Put a Voice Activated Recorder (VAR) under the seat in her car.

Put a keylogger on her computer.

Keep checking those phone records. Maybe you can go on-line and get it real time.

After a week, if you haven't found enough evidence without her phone, ask her for it and tell her why. If she refuses, you've pretty much got your answer. Start the "180" (find the link) if she won't comply.

If you do find evidence, check back with this board. There are a lot of people here who have been through this and you will get excellent advice.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Thanks tom and letdown, I really hope I'm wrong on my suspicion and I really don't want to believe it. I will look into VAR, not familiar with the term.
 

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VAR (voice activated recorder) planted under her car seat...don't forget the velcrow tap... will at least give you the one side conversation she is having.
 

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Have you attempted to hack into the phone by trying different passwords she allready has?

Check bank statements also it may give you an idea were she has been going with regards to gas station ATM usage.

Stay calm and quitely get the evidence (good or bad) that will validate the next step you need to take in your marriage.
 

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The reason to use the VAR is in her car is that is the most likely place she would feel safe to talk on her cell. If you do confront her about seeing her phone, make sure she hands it to you immediately. If you get to look at her texts and don't find anything otherwise, see if she has deleted any that you found on line. If she has, you have yet another clue. Ask her to explain.

Another reason for the VAR is, she may switch to a burner phone after you confront her. She would likely use that in her car also.
 

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I was able to slide my wifes cell phone from under neith her pillow (while she was passed out) by pulling on the charger cord. Once I say the charging light flashing thru the pillow case I had my chance and it paid off, the password was the name of her car.

My point is with patients it will happen.

It sucks my man but you just have to be vigilent and make a plan and work the plan.

make no mistake you want to have the most effective confrontation as possible, and its tough when time after time you come up with crap that can be explained away.

Be patiant they always screw up.
 

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Call logs are good, if you can convert them to Excel you can coilate the numbers deleting the legit numbers and focus on the unknown numbers, even dates and times can be coilated to establish a pattern of behavior.
 

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If you have the dough take what info you do have and hire a PI .......that is money well spent.

I was a week in, I almost went down the PI route, but that cell phone/pillow thing happened and it was undeniable what I had on that phone.
 
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