Hello All,
This is my first time here. I never thought of myself as the type to seek the advice from others but then again I never thought I'd be in this situation either...
My wife and I have been together for 12 years, married for 3 and we have a beautiful little boy. I realize no marriage is perfect but before last week I would of described ours as pretty damn close. Our relationship is not just good but unusually great. I'm talking about reading each other's thoughts, mushy, and "awww how cute" inspiring. My wife is very affectionate always telling me how much she loves me and she can't see her life any other way than with me. We always talk about how we have truly found our soul mates. We bicker of course and we definitely have our moments but we communicate very well. Doesn't feel forced. We're friends and lovers and always have been since we met at age 19 and 20. Love life has always been awesome, as awesome as it could be with our little one running the house I should say.
Now that i got that embarrassing stuff out of the way, Here's the situation. Last week we were all on a small family holiday and staying in a hotel. My wife was showing me some pictures of our son she took running a muck around the hotel room. As I looked I saw a Skype message appear from someone saying "lol sorry I got super drunk last night, what photos did you try to send?". Of course I got F-Ing pissed and when i asked her who it was she admitted it was some guy she met on some lame social networking app. I demanded answers and she was very honest (or so I think) saying it was just friends but that even so she should not have kept anything from me. The messages started with her saying good morning, prior to that all messages had been deleted. I messaged him asking who he was any why he was communicating with my wife. He quickly responded saying exactly what she said-that they met and just shared silly photos of stuff at work and dumb faces. He said they were just friends. I asked him straight out man to man if they were sharing photos of each other's genitals (I used much more graphic lingo) and he said no nothing like that. He said he saw her ring and was not about to start doing that stuff with someone who was married. At this point my wife was on her knees crying saying how stupid of her this was and begging for my forgiveness. I could see the hurt in her eyes which made me hurt even more than I already was. After that I pressed him even further telling him who I was and that he needs to come clean if there's anything I should know about that it's not his fault but hers. He said again that it was nothing like that and apologized. I asked that he stay away for good even if it was just friendly correspondence. The messages ended there and he apparently deleted her from his contacts. I went through the pictures of her camera roll and found the last picture she was trying to send him. It was her sticking her tongue out at him and although it was definitely flirty because she was in her night gown, nothing was exposed. That's the photo that did not make it through because of a connection issue. Since then my wife has cried to me everyday saying how pissed she is at herself for doing something so stupid and damaging us. I wear my emotions on my sleeve and can't hide the fact that I am upset and hurt. She is extremely remorseful and I can see the agony on her face, I know her like the back of my hand and I know it's genuine. I get about 100 text messages from her while we are at work saying how much she loves me and our family, that NOTHING has never happened in the past and that nothing ever will because she's so in love with me. She tells me how many times she has to leave her unit to go to the bathroom and cry. It's been a week since this happened and I still have not forgiven her, but I want to REALLY BAD. I am not perfect and although I have never cheated on her I have done some things I am not proud of on those "lame" social networking sites in the past too. I knew that about myself and was very ashamed. I guess I just never expected that from her. I sincerely believe and even know that she has never cheated on me. We spend almost every hour of every day together and even worked in the same building for six years until last year. The weird part is that our love like skyrocketed recently like we were 22 again! I just figured it was she was reading that 50 Shades series and I figured hey...win win! I am dreadfully in love with my wife and I know from our history, relationship and her recent remorse that the feeling is mutual.
Am I overreacting?
Please no hurtful comments about me or my wife. It's one thing to have an opinion but please try to be constructive about it. Thank you.
This is my first time here. I never thought of myself as the type to seek the advice from others but then again I never thought I'd be in this situation either...
My wife and I have been together for 12 years, married for 3 and we have a beautiful little boy. I realize no marriage is perfect but before last week I would of described ours as pretty damn close. Our relationship is not just good but unusually great. I'm talking about reading each other's thoughts, mushy, and "awww how cute" inspiring. My wife is very affectionate always telling me how much she loves me and she can't see her life any other way than with me. We always talk about how we have truly found our soul mates. We bicker of course and we definitely have our moments but we communicate very well. Doesn't feel forced. We're friends and lovers and always have been since we met at age 19 and 20. Love life has always been awesome, as awesome as it could be with our little one running the house I should say.
Now that i got that embarrassing stuff out of the way, Here's the situation. Last week we were all on a small family holiday and staying in a hotel. My wife was showing me some pictures of our son she took running a muck around the hotel room. As I looked I saw a Skype message appear from someone saying "lol sorry I got super drunk last night, what photos did you try to send?". Of course I got F-Ing pissed and when i asked her who it was she admitted it was some guy she met on some lame social networking app. I demanded answers and she was very honest (or so I think) saying it was just friends but that even so she should not have kept anything from me. The messages started with her saying good morning, prior to that all messages had been deleted. I messaged him asking who he was any why he was communicating with my wife. He quickly responded saying exactly what she said-that they met and just shared silly photos of stuff at work and dumb faces. He said they were just friends. I asked him straight out man to man if they were sharing photos of each other's genitals (I used much more graphic lingo) and he said no nothing like that. He said he saw her ring and was not about to start doing that stuff with someone who was married. At this point my wife was on her knees crying saying how stupid of her this was and begging for my forgiveness. I could see the hurt in her eyes which made me hurt even more than I already was. After that I pressed him even further telling him who I was and that he needs to come clean if there's anything I should know about that it's not his fault but hers. He said again that it was nothing like that and apologized. I asked that he stay away for good even if it was just friendly correspondence. The messages ended there and he apparently deleted her from his contacts. I went through the pictures of her camera roll and found the last picture she was trying to send him. It was her sticking her tongue out at him and although it was definitely flirty because she was in her night gown, nothing was exposed. That's the photo that did not make it through because of a connection issue. Since then my wife has cried to me everyday saying how pissed she is at herself for doing something so stupid and damaging us. I wear my emotions on my sleeve and can't hide the fact that I am upset and hurt. She is extremely remorseful and I can see the agony on her face, I know her like the back of my hand and I know it's genuine. I get about 100 text messages from her while we are at work saying how much she loves me and our family, that NOTHING has never happened in the past and that nothing ever will because she's so in love with me. She tells me how many times she has to leave her unit to go to the bathroom and cry. It's been a week since this happened and I still have not forgiven her, but I want to REALLY BAD. I am not perfect and although I have never cheated on her I have done some things I am not proud of on those "lame" social networking sites in the past too. I knew that about myself and was very ashamed. I guess I just never expected that from her. I sincerely believe and even know that she has never cheated on me. We spend almost every hour of every day together and even worked in the same building for six years until last year. The weird part is that our love like skyrocketed recently like we were 22 again! I just figured it was she was reading that 50 Shades series and I figured hey...win win! I am dreadfully in love with my wife and I know from our history, relationship and her recent remorse that the feeling is mutual.
Am I overreacting?
Please no hurtful comments about me or my wife. It's one thing to have an opinion but please try to be constructive about it. Thank you.