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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
FWIW I understand many others experiencing severe pain and confusing here so for not experiencing that, I feel a good bit guilty for asking for help, but Im stuck in a rut and I want improve my marriage since my wife and daughter deserve it.

Having made many prior attempts at being helpful to others here I dont believe I am being entirely inconsiderate for asking for some feedback with a much less serious issue than mind boggling pain.

I know I take my wife for granted too often but I cant seem to get motivated to invest more. I am unmotivated in other areas also. It seems I am in a general slow down. Feel free to kick me as hard as you want. I need to get out of this funk. She deserves better.

Thank you for your consideration
 

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THis site it a place to "talk about marriage". So you have no reason to appologize for asking for help.

You are smart to evaluate your marriage and give it a tune-up before there is a sever problem.

More info sure would help.

How long have you been married?

How old are you, your wife and your child?

Do both you and your wife have jobs outside the home?

How many hours a week do you and your wife spend together, just the two of you doing things together that you both enjoy?

That's a good start.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 · (Edited)
45 and 42 years married 13 daughter 12. I own a biz. Wife is sub school teacher. She likes to be busy. I like to chill out.

If I flirt and tease and romance her, she is amazing and fun. When I dont which is most of the time, she is not engaged.

It seems I set the tone 100% and I dont do what I know I should.

I am sounding like a limp **** but I guess its the truth.

I resent my daughter busying out my wife and my wife for allowing it. I am direct so I have said so. They watch food shows downstairs I watch news upstairs 6 mights a week.

Yes I am being lazy and ungtrateful

Man do I sound like an idiot right now
 

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Well then you need to get off your arse and start doing the things you know you need to do.

A couple needs to spend at least 15 hours a week together doing things that they enjoy in order to keep the passion alive in the marriage. So that's a goal for you to meet.

What are you doing for her tomorrow?
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
15 hours a week together that's a goal for you to meet.

What are you doing for her tomorrow?
I like it

Breakfast and coffee in bed. Finishing bathroom and kitchen repairs. Text during day. Card and gift and flirting with her. Being nicer. A honey do anytime fill in the blank service form.

Thats what she likes especially the attention. The feedback is instant joy for her.
 

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What time does your daughter go to bed/sleep at night. It should be early enough for the two of you to have some couples time.

If you spend 1-2 hours a night on week nights with her that's 5-10 hours of that couples time right there.

One thing that might work for right now is to just join her watching her shows. Yea, you might now be wild about the shows but join her. Make drinks (alcoholic or not) for the two of you. Join her, give her a foot rub or back rub.

YOu need to start talking to her and touching her (this is non-sexual touching time).

Do you two have a bit of trouble coming up with topics to talk about?
 

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There are over 330 million people in the States. Statistically, we all could "do better". The odds are better that we'd do much worse. I think marital success has less to do with finding someone "right" than it does with two flawed people committing to doing right by each other. Nobody can make you happy. Contentment is a daily choice we make for ourselves. Whether your partner is a blessing or a curse depends on which of her qualities you choose to focus upon.
 

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It is possible that your wife and daughter could die in an accident any day. Love them every day like its your or their last day with you, ever. And be the best you that you can be, go running and get those endorphins going...show yourself and your family some energy and passion.
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