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I've been married about 5 years to a mid 40's man who grew up in Europe. We agreed at start of relationship that we didn't want to go in to past details as number of partner etc. One issue I did bring to his attention at the start of our dating was that I had a 'recreational' video that I made with an ex that I was having a hard time getting back. The ex was very jealous and controlling and I didn't want any surprises or secrets coming out one day. I did get the video back eventually and burned it. Pretty sure there isn't copies out there as he isn't tech savvy and if so - not much I can do.
A few days ago, we had friends over and my husband had too much to drink. He likes to brag to people of his wild European life and he told a story that he and his buddies used to audition for porn movies to have sex.
I'm disgusted. He has many tiimes in the heat of a fight thrown in my face about my personal movie (not many and not for sale, made for private use between someone I loved at the time), and now this comes out.
I am humiliated my friends know and I feel dirty when he wants to touch me. He has played himself off these past years as somewhat conserative and now I hear he has had sex in a room full of people being judged just to get laid?
I don't want to be touched by him. There are other relationship issues and I wonder if this is my excuse to pull away.
Over the past little while, stories of ***** houses have been hinted at. He tries to pass it off as different culture etc., but isn't core values core values?
Any why not be honest like I was at the start of the relationship. I'm lost and confused
 

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Over the past little while, stories of ***** houses have been hinted at. He tries to pass it off as different culture etc., but isn't core values core values?
Any why not be honest like I was at the start of the relationship. I'm lost and confused
Yes. Core values are core values.
But some people have different values with sex.
And you were under the impression that his values were different?

The problem is that he was dishonest about his past whilst you were very open. [Absolutely nothing is wrong with your private vid between you & your ex.]
You have every right to feel the way you do at this time.

Is he also telling you that you are insecure and that you should try to get over it?
If no,
Look out, sooner or later he will.
 

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He has quite the double standard. It's good for him but wrong for you.

Seems like you've hitched your wagon to a loser.
 
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