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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Need some input here from TAM:

I am getting remarried soon. I want to change my last name to my new husband.

However, I am a professional person that is recognized by her last name. However, that last name is from my previous marriage (of 25 years).

How can I transition my name change professionally.

I've been reading but can't seem to make a decision.

Should I jump in and change my name professionally?

Should I put my First name (current last name) new married name? Gradually phasing out the current last name in parentheses.

Help?
 

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Depends. If your name is how you make your money then you could change your name personally and keep your professional name the same.

I'm a CPA and when one of my established coworkers got remarried she just changed her name and it wasn't a big deal. She made partner not that long after so what name she chose to go by had nothing to do with her job performance. It's been over 10 years now and she's still happily married with his name.

BTW she never phased her old name out she just changed it. She just said "I got married and this is my new name". Nobody really thought anything of it.
 

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I think the hyphenation thing is not as popular as it was 20-30 years ago. In fact, here in Texas (except probably Austin)* I’d say the norm is to just change over to the husband’s name. Many women in my community (Houston Metro) seem to incorporate their maiden
name as their middle name?

In any case, what ever you do do. Do it right away and consistently across the board. I can think of one gal at work who has been married at least 5-years and still has her old name on the company e-mail address. It gets confusing.

* For non-Texans, Austin is to Texas what San Francisco would be to the rest of the United States – bunch of “free thinking”, hippies and liberals.
 

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When you get married, legally change it.

But for business, you can make it gradual. Let's say your name is Mary Smith. You are marrying John Doe. Have your business cards, emails, letters, etc... changed from Mary Smith to Mary Smith Doe. Go 6-12 months like that and then change it to Mary Doe. The transition should be smooth.
 

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I would say either just change it, people will be fine with it, or change it personally only. I know professional women who've done both. I think just changing your name keeps it simpler, because you only confuse people once. The woman who kept her first-marriage lname at work had to keep re-explaining why her last name was different depending on the circumstances.
 

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Oh, and if you currently or may ever work for federal goverment, don't do the temporary hyphen thing. I did that and had to explain why I was "Mary Smith", "Mary Smith Jones" and "Mary Jones" during the background check. They make everything seem suspicious.
 

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What I did- I changed my name with HR, but not on my business cards. Believe me it would have been easier to change it totally since my STBX name is easier to say and spell.

I have also seen people send out e-mails with "formally" last name, and after a while just take off the formally.

I think it really depends on what your job is, mine was facing the public, with steady clients, so I kept my original last name. If you are inside your company only then just send an e-mail stating you got married and your last name changed to...

BTW (speaking of confusing) I had a coworker who totally changed her whole name after getting divorced- first and last!
 

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I'm an old school guy and I expected my wife to change her name to mine. I know that rubs some the wrong way. Now....after so many years I could see the logic in keeping your own name. It's not my thing, but I understand it, and if my wife wanted it I suppose I could get behind it. That is, using either my name or her maiden name. Using another man's name? No effing way. Not ever.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Thanks guys! My current last name in not my maiden name but a name from my previous marriage. I feel it would be disrespectful to keep it.

I want to have my new soon-to-be husbands name but wondering if I should go-for-it or do it gradually.

I think I will go for it....perhaps use formally known as...

Still figuring things out!
 

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Most of the women I know at work just change it. People know that they got married and its normal for the woman's name to change. Normal part of society.

Perhaps if you were a doctor or something where your business reputation depends on your last name I'd say change it legally but keep the old name for work. I don't think most women have a situation like that thou.
 
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