My wife and I have been married several years, and we've had some really rough patches where she had post natal depression and dealt with it with alcoholism. But she has been sober for quite a while now.
Our sex life has become kind of insane, maybe it's because she finally settled into herself, but her sex drive is like nothing I've experienced before. We have sex multiple times a day, but I still catch her masturbating. I actually think she would want it even more than we do now, but it's all I can manage really.
With her new openness has come some honesty about her past. She admitted that she lied about how many men she had slept with before me. I guess I assumed she had fudged the numbers somewhat, but I had no idea the extent of her promiscuity! She admits that she doesn't know how many men she has slept with, but that it is "over 100", but based on some of the things she's told me, even that is likely understating it. Seems like it's less "100" and more "hundreds"!
I consider myself an enlightened, understanding guy, so I've tried to take this in my stride. But I feel like it casts a different light on some things. There are incidents that I just trusted her, and now I'm doubting that, especially because she admitted that she has cheated on almost every guy she's ever dated! Although she said she has been faithful to me, and got upset when I asked her about it.
With my slightly more skeptical outlook, I don't know if I should be worried about something that happened last week, or if I should let it go.
A friend of hers has been talking about getting her a job for a while, and she's been out for drinks with people that her friend works with. I worry whenever she goes out with other people that are drinking, because of her previous drinking problems. She says that she doesn't drink or only has one glass, but I worry.
Last week she unexpectedly ran into this friend and ended up staying out with them all evening. She told me she was going to stay out and I said that was ok. But then at about 8pm she said she was going back with some people, including one of her friends that I trust, to one of their houses. While she was at that house, I spoke to her once and she sounded weird and then didn't respond to calls or texts for nearly 2 hours. I was assuming she would get the last train home, but that time came and went, and I hadn't heard from her. At 12:30 am she said that she was in a taxi on the way home and someone was paying for the taxi.
What she didn't realise is that in the meantime I'd caught her in a lie. I messaged the friend that I trusted, and they hadn't even been out that night!!
When she got home, I let her spin her story about what happened, and then I told her I knew she was lying. She basically doubled down on the lie and we reached a bit of an impasse. It was late and I wanted some sleep, so we went to bed. She was up most of the night, clearly worrying that I had caught her out. In the morning I reconfirmed that the friend had not been out and I confronted her again.
She told me that she had been at the house with her friend that is trying to get her a job, her boyfriend, and then 2 other guys that the friend knows. She told me she was worried it looked bad and I would worry, she lied just so I wouldn't worry. I asked her a bunch of questions to try and clarify things. She told a convincing story, and although she lied, nothing bad happened.
I want to believe her, but also she had all night to come up with a better lie, so I don't know.
To cap it all off, she is now starting that job, so she will run into these guys that something may or may not have happened with. And my suspicions and knew understanding of her past makes me worry about how this job will pan out.
I've tried to be a bit vague to maintain anonymity. I can be a bit more clear in a private chat if that helps.
Our sex life has become kind of insane, maybe it's because she finally settled into herself, but her sex drive is like nothing I've experienced before. We have sex multiple times a day, but I still catch her masturbating. I actually think she would want it even more than we do now, but it's all I can manage really.
With her new openness has come some honesty about her past. She admitted that she lied about how many men she had slept with before me. I guess I assumed she had fudged the numbers somewhat, but I had no idea the extent of her promiscuity! She admits that she doesn't know how many men she has slept with, but that it is "over 100", but based on some of the things she's told me, even that is likely understating it. Seems like it's less "100" and more "hundreds"!
I consider myself an enlightened, understanding guy, so I've tried to take this in my stride. But I feel like it casts a different light on some things. There are incidents that I just trusted her, and now I'm doubting that, especially because she admitted that she has cheated on almost every guy she's ever dated! Although she said she has been faithful to me, and got upset when I asked her about it.
With my slightly more skeptical outlook, I don't know if I should be worried about something that happened last week, or if I should let it go.
A friend of hers has been talking about getting her a job for a while, and she's been out for drinks with people that her friend works with. I worry whenever she goes out with other people that are drinking, because of her previous drinking problems. She says that she doesn't drink or only has one glass, but I worry.
Last week she unexpectedly ran into this friend and ended up staying out with them all evening. She told me she was going to stay out and I said that was ok. But then at about 8pm she said she was going back with some people, including one of her friends that I trust, to one of their houses. While she was at that house, I spoke to her once and she sounded weird and then didn't respond to calls or texts for nearly 2 hours. I was assuming she would get the last train home, but that time came and went, and I hadn't heard from her. At 12:30 am she said that she was in a taxi on the way home and someone was paying for the taxi.
What she didn't realise is that in the meantime I'd caught her in a lie. I messaged the friend that I trusted, and they hadn't even been out that night!!
When she got home, I let her spin her story about what happened, and then I told her I knew she was lying. She basically doubled down on the lie and we reached a bit of an impasse. It was late and I wanted some sleep, so we went to bed. She was up most of the night, clearly worrying that I had caught her out. In the morning I reconfirmed that the friend had not been out and I confronted her again.
She told me that she had been at the house with her friend that is trying to get her a job, her boyfriend, and then 2 other guys that the friend knows. She told me she was worried it looked bad and I would worry, she lied just so I wouldn't worry. I asked her a bunch of questions to try and clarify things. She told a convincing story, and although she lied, nothing bad happened.
I want to believe her, but also she had all night to come up with a better lie, so I don't know.
To cap it all off, she is now starting that job, so she will run into these guys that something may or may not have happened with. And my suspicions and knew understanding of her past makes me worry about how this job will pan out.
I've tried to be a bit vague to maintain anonymity. I can be a bit more clear in a private chat if that helps.