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she admitted, quite out of the blue, that there was a guy that used to call her a "c*m dumpster"
Although her being called a “c*m dumpster” casts her in a poor light, you focusing on this and other such side facts is being used by you to derail your own thread, so that you do not have to acknowledge if your wife actually cheated with those other men the other night.

Again, she lied to you about who she was with. She lied to you about how she got home. She ghosted you for hours so that she could stay out very late with 2 Other Men that you never met. Studies show only 3 percent of cheated spouses actually catch the cheater in the act of actually having sex. Most people confirm cheating by catching them in the act of lying about being with members of the opposition sex in situations where the cheater feels the need to lie. Unfortunately, what you caught her doing is as much as you are going get on her if she is cheating.
 

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My wife and I have been married several years, and we've had some really rough patches where she had post natal depression and dealt with it with alcoholism. But she has been sober for quite a while now.

Our sex life has become kind of insane, maybe it's because she finally settled into herself, but her sex drive is like nothing I've experienced before. We have sex multiple times a day, but I still catch her masturbating. I actually think she would want it even more than we do now, but it's all I can manage really.

With her new openness has come some honesty about her past. She admitted that she lied about how many men she had slept with before me. I guess I assumed she had fudged the numbers somewhat, but I had no idea the extent of her promiscuity! She admits that she doesn't know how many men she has slept with, but that it is "over 100", but based on some of the things she's told me, even that is likely understating it. Seems like it's less "100" and more "hundreds"!

I consider myself an enlightened, understanding guy, so I've tried to take this in my stride. But I feel like it casts a different light on some things. There are incidents that I just trusted her, and now I'm doubting that, especially because she admitted that she has cheated on almost every guy she's ever dated! Although she said she has been faithful to me, and got upset when I asked her about it.

With my slightly more skeptical outlook, I don't know if I should be worried about something that happened last week, or if I should let it go.

A friend of hers has been talking about getting her a job for a while, and she's been out for drinks with people that her friend works with. I worry whenever she goes out with other people that are drinking, because of her previous drinking problems. She says that she doesn't drink or only has one glass, but I worry.

Last week she unexpectedly ran into this friend and ended up staying out with them all evening. She told me she was going to stay out and I said that was ok. But then at about 8pm she said she was going back with some people, including one of her friends that I trust, to one of their houses. While she was at that house, I spoke to her once and she sounded weird and then didn't respond to calls or texts for nearly 2 hours. I was assuming she would get the last train home, but that time came and went, and I hadn't heard from her. At 12:30 am she said that she was in a taxi on the way home and someone was paying for the taxi.

What she didn't realise is that in the meantime I'd caught her in a lie. I messaged the friend that I trusted, and they hadn't even been out that night!!

When she got home, I let her spin her story about what happened, and then I told her I knew she was lying. She basically doubled down on the lie and we reached a bit of an impasse. It was late and I wanted some sleep, so we went to bed. She was up most of the night, clearly worrying that I had caught her out. In the morning I reconfirmed that the friend had not been out and I confronted her again.

She told me that she had been at the house with her friend that is trying to get her a job, her boyfriend, and then 2 other guys that the friend knows. She told me she was worried it looked bad and I would worry, she lied just so I wouldn't worry. I asked her a bunch of questions to try and clarify things. She told a convincing story, and although she lied, nothing bad happened.

I want to believe her, but also she had all night to come up with a better lie, so I don't know.

To cap it all off, she is now starting that job, so she will run into these guys that something may or may not have happened with. And my suspicions and knew understanding of her past makes me worry about how this job will pan out.

I've tried to be a bit vague to maintain anonymity. I can be a bit more clear in a private chat if that helps.
She slept with hundred people and cheated on almost all of her relationship, what could go wrong? Hahaha
 

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I've caught her lying, but I don't know that I've caught her cheating red handed.

If it had been just one guy she'd gone back with, then I would think that would look worse, but there were at least 2 guys there. Guys that she knew she might be working with soon. So what did she do? Sleep with both of them? Did one guy stand around an wait for his turn? Did one just stand around and didn't do anything? It just seems more likely that she got herself in a stupid lie because she wanted to go back and smoke some weed, which is what she said she did.
It is possible that she got double penetrated 😂
 

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I do agree that probably it wasn't as well hidden as she would like to believe. For one reason, I think she wasn't as careful when she was drunk as when she was sober, and I think a lot of stuff happened when she was drunk that she forgot or never remembered. Before she even came clean to me about her past, she admitted, quite out of the blue, that there was a guy that used to call her a "c*m dumpster", so that seems to go against the idea that no one knew.

Maybe in her mind, people she had slept around, but no one knew she was sleeping with random guys on the daily. I guess there is a lot I will never really know.
dude, give some reasons why you are sticking around with her ? You know who she is, how she is and she can't stay loyal. What are your gains vs losses.

How did you miss the red flags before marriage ?

Have you spoken to an attorney yet ?
 
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Ok, that post you all expected would happen is here...

I checked her phone while she was asleep, and checked her WhatsApp messages. She f*cking her new boss, and the guy whose house she went back to! And she maybe f*cking the taxi driver that she regularly calls on, at the very least she is flirting with him, and she is also flirting with another guy related to her new job.

It is SO worse than I thought.

I assumed at the worst was the she had a drunken mistake with some guy, and if she could stay away from the alcohol, things might be ok. But not only is she sleeping with both of them, she is sending them pics, and telling them both she loves them.

This job thing happened really quickly, so within a couple of weeks of meeting these people she is already f*cking 2 of them! The guy whose house she went back to, I think that was only the second time she's met him.

The messed up thing is that things have actually been really good between us, and the se* is great.

Clearly she has cheated on me A LOT.

I took screenshots of all the messages and put her phone back.

Need to think. Sorry for dismissing you opinons.
 

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Ok, that post you all expected would happen is here...

I checked her phone while she was asleep, and checked her WhatsApp messages. She f*cking her new boss, and the guy whose house she went back to! And she maybe f*cking the taxi driver that she regularly calls on, at the very least she is flirting with him, and she is also flirting with another guy related to her new job.

It is SO worse than I thought.

I assumed at the worst was the she had a drunken mistake with some guy, and if she could stay away from the alcohol, things might be ok. But not only is she sleeping with both of them, she is sending them pics, and telling them both she loves them.

This job thing happened really quickly, so within a couple of weeks of meeting these people she is already f*cking 2 of them! The guy whose house she went back to, I think that was only the second time she's met him.

The messed up thing is that things have actually been really good between us, and the se* is great.

Clearly she has cheated on me A LOT.

I took screenshots of all the messages and put her phone back.

Need to think. Sorry for dismissing you opinons.
Not a big surprise. if you weren't blinded by hope and love. Can't really blame you for that. It was outrageously obvious to us on the outside. Sorry you are stuck dealing with this.
 

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Ok, that post you all expected would happen is here...

I checked her phone while she was asleep, and checked her WhatsApp messages. She f*cking her new boss, and the guy whose house she went back to! And she maybe f*cking the taxi driver that she regularly calls on, at the very least she is flirting with him, and she is also flirting with another guy related to her new job.

It is SO worse than I thought.

I assumed at the worst was the she had a drunken mistake with some guy, and if she could stay away from the alcohol, things might be ok. But not only is she sleeping with both of them, she is sending them pics, and telling them both she loves them.

This job thing happened really quickly, so within a couple of weeks of meeting these people she is already f*cking 2 of them! The guy whose house she went back to, I think that was only the second time she's met him.

The messed up thing is that things have actually been really good between us, and the se* is great.

Clearly she has cheated on me A LOT.

I took screenshots of all the messages and put her phone back.

Need to think. Sorry for dismissing you opinons.
Try to get some sleep, you’ll need it to process effectively and drive-through the actions you’ll need to take.
Then take the day to process.
Then you need to decide on a course of action, create a plan and take action.
 

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Ok, that post you all expected would happen is here...

I checked her phone while she was asleep, and checked her WhatsApp messages. She f*cking her new boss, and the guy whose house she went back to! And she maybe f*cking the taxi driver that she regularly calls on, at the very least she is flirting with him, and she is also flirting with another guy related to her new job.

It is SO worse than I thought.

I assumed at the worst was the she had a drunken mistake with some guy, and if she could stay away from the alcohol, things might be ok. But not only is she sleeping with both of them, she is sending them pics, and telling them both she loves them.

This job thing happened really quickly, so within a couple of weeks of meeting these people she is already f*cking 2 of them! The guy whose house she went back to, I think that was only the second time she's met him.

The messed up thing is that things have actually been really good between us, and the se* is great.

Clearly she has cheated on me A LOT.

I took screenshots of all the messages and put her phone back.

Need to think. Sorry for dismissing you opinons.
None of us take any pleasure from you pain, as a matter of fact some of us have been in some semblance of your shoes and feel a version of it as we hear of this.

The question is, are you willing to share her? She is a serial cheater and will not change.
Now that you know who she is, you can live as a cuckold and R or take you dignity back and D.

Do not confront her yet, first get your legal and financial ducks in a row.

Open a new bank account.

Withdraw half of the funds from any joint accounts and deposit it into that account.

Cancel all joint credit cards or credit cards she has which you will be responsible for.

If you are in an at fault state, gather as much evidence as you can and save copies in a safe place.

See a lawyer and find out where you will end up as far as custody, legal and financial matters.

Do not abandon the marital home or kids before your legal ducks are in a row and abandonment cannot be claimed.

Get tested for STDs ASAP.

Do not sleep with her again.

Get a VAR to record all conversations with her from this time forward.

You may or may not want to confront her, that is up to you, but if you do, arrange that the kids be out of the house and taken care of. You may want to do this in a public, but not crowded place, but regardless if you do this in public or at home, record the audio and/or video of the confrontation. BSs often gets slapped with false DV charges once the WW knows her cake-eating world has come to an end.

It is good to serve her ASAP and if you confront do so with divorce papers in hand.

There are so many points I am forgetting here, but this is a start.

Concerning yourself:
You are no longer married, she broke that covenant and you owe her nothing as a husband anymore.

Google, read up on and implement a technique called the 180. This is for you to be able to detach from her and protect your heart and sanity.

Exercise, this releases endorphins to counteract the depression and helps you channel your anger and frustration.

Drink water, not alcohol or use drugs. More than ever before in your life, you need a clear head here.

Every action you take from this moment forward is to protect yourself and your children. She has become the betrayer and enemy who wants to now take you kids and money away from you. Treat her as such and protect your interests.

I pictured my ex-wife as having died. The woman I loved was dead and I even held a private wake for her to set that fact in my mind. I was dealing with her evil twin sister from that moment forward. This made things easier to deal with, at least for me.

Take every step on this road you are now forced to walk as a sure and planned step to benefit only you and your children's future.
 

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My wife and I have been married several years, and we've had some really rough patches where she had post natal depression and dealt with it with alcoholism. But she has been sober for quite a while now.

Our sex life has become kind of insane, maybe it's because she finally settled into herself, but her sex drive is like nothing I've experienced before. We have sex multiple times a day, but I still catch her masturbating. I actually think she would want it even more than we do now, but it's all I can manage really.

With her new openness has come some honesty about her past. She admitted that she lied about how many men she had slept with before me. I guess I assumed she had fudged the numbers somewhat, but I had no idea the extent of her promiscuity! She admits that she doesn't know how many men she has slept with, but that it is "over 100", but based on some of the things she's told me, even that is likely understating it. Seems like it's less "100" and more "hundreds"!

I consider myself an enlightened, understanding guy, so I've tried to take this in my stride. But I feel like it casts a different light on some things. There are incidents that I just trusted her, and now I'm doubting that, especially because she admitted that she has cheated on almost every guy she's ever dated! Although she said she has been faithful to me, and got upset when I asked her about it.

With my slightly more skeptical outlook, I don't know if I should be worried about something that happened last week, or if I should let it go.

A friend of hers has been talking about getting her a job for a while, and she's been out for drinks with people that her friend works with. I worry whenever she goes out with other people that are drinking, because of her previous drinking problems. She says that she doesn't drink or only has one glass, but I worry.

Last week she unexpectedly ran into this friend and ended up staying out with them all evening. She told me she was going to stay out and I said that was ok. But then at about 8pm she said she was going back with some people, including one of her friends that I trust, to one of their houses. While she was at that house, I spoke to her once and she sounded weird and then didn't respond to calls or texts for nearly 2 hours. I was assuming she would get the last train home, but that time came and went, and I hadn't heard from her. At 12:30 am she said that she was in a taxi on the way home and someone was paying for the taxi.

What she didn't realise is that in the meantime I'd caught her in a lie. I messaged the friend that I trusted, and they hadn't even been out that night!!

When she got home, I let her spin her story about what happened, and then I told her I knew she was lying. She basically doubled down on the lie and we reached a bit of an impasse. It was late and I wanted some sleep, so we went to bed. She was up most of the night, clearly worrying that I had caught her out. In the morning I reconfirmed that the friend had not been out and I confronted her again.

She told me that she had been at the house with her friend that is trying to get her a job, her boyfriend, and then 2 other guys that the friend knows. She told me she was worried it looked bad and I would worry, she lied just so I wouldn't worry. I asked her a bunch of questions to try and clarify things. She told a convincing story, and although she lied, nothing bad happened.

I want to believe her, but also she had all night to come up with a better lie, so I don't know.

To cap it all off, she is now starting that job, so she will run into these guys that something may or may not have happened with. And my suspicions and knew understanding of her past makes me worry about how this job will pan out.

I've tried to be a bit vague to maintain anonymity. I can be a bit more clear in a private chat if that helps.
Okay…okay…stop stop stop stop stop stop stop. First off, I know she’s your wife, but she LIED to you for your entire marriage about how many guys she’s slept with. She low balled the number, which could’ve put your health at risk. But she then raised it to “potentially over 100”, OP, I can guarantee you that this “girlfriend” of hers knows the exact number. Then if that wasn’t a big enough Red Flag, she tells you that she’s CHEATED on almost every single one of her partners?! But that’s okay, she didn’t do it to you…yeah, I’m sure. OP, I sincerely hope you realize that she’s said that to all of her previous partners as well. She then tells you that she’s going out with a friend you trust…you call said friend and find out she lied. And then..and then, (OP I shouldn’t have to say “and then”), and then, when you call her out on her lie SHE DOUBLES DOWN. SHE DOUBLED DOWN. She has so little respect for you that she doubled down on her lie. While she was out..you called her and she “sounded weird”? Man stop..you were hoping she would catch a train, I mean…she caught a train alright. And what’s worse is she’s going to be WORKING WITH THESE GUYS! OP for the love of the Gods stop…please take your rose tinted glasses off and open your eyes. Look at the amount of disrespect she is showing to you..and you just want to believe her lies? Stop! Hire a PI, and get the obvious evidence of her cheating on you, don’t confront her because she’ll just lie again because she now knows that her obvious lies hold some form of power over you, hire a divorce lawyer and leave..there is an elephant rampaging through the room and you’re just willingly ignoring it. OP, your wife is a walking, talking, living and breathing Red Flag…for your own mental health and sanity, leave this woman…
 

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Okay…okay…stop stop stop stop stop stop stop. First off, I know she’s your wife, but she LIED to you for your entire marriage about how many guys she’s slept with. She low balled the number, which could’ve put your health at risk. But she then raised it to “potentially over 100”, OP, I can guarantee you that this “girlfriend” of hers knows the exact number. Then if that wasn’t a big enough Red Flag, she tells you that she’s CHEATED on almost every single one of her partners?! But that’s okay, she didn’t do it to you…yeah, I’m sure. OP, I sincerely hope you realize that she’s said that to all of her previous partners as well. She then tells you that she’s going out with a friend you trust…you call said friend and find out she lied. And then..and then, (OP I shouldn’t have to say “and then”), and then, when you call her out on her lie SHE DOUBLES DOWN. SHE DOUBLED DOWN. She has so little respect for you that she doubled down on her lie. While she was out..you called her and she “sounded weird”? Man stop..you were hoping she would catch a train, I mean…she caught a train alright. And what’s worse is she’s going to be WORKING WITH THESE GUYS! OP for the love of the Gods stop…please take your rose tinted glasses off and open your eyes. Look at the amount of disrespect she is showing to you..and you just want to believe her lies? Stop! Hire a PI, and get the obvious evidence of her cheating on you, don’t confront her because she’ll just lie again because she now knows that her obvious lies hold some form of power over you, hire a divorce lawyer and leave..there is an elephant rampaging through the room and you’re just willingly ignoring it. OP, your wife is a walking, talking, living and breathing Red Flag…for your own mental health and sanity, leave this woman…
He already got the evidence he needs from her phone, it's now time to act to protect himself and the kids.

Oh and OP, DNA test those kids. I sincerely doubt she was ever faithful to you. This is just the first time you caught her.

If one or more of the kids is not yours, the correct genetic medical history may save their lives in an emergency, where the lack thereof may turn out to be a death sentence.
 

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Get the kids genetically tested but you guys WAY, WAY, WAY overestimate the importance of family history in medical decision making. If there are medical genetics involved it’s a long prolonged process involving sending off labs that take weeks to come back.
 

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Get the kids genetically tested but you guys WAY, WAY, WAY overestimate the importance of family history in medical decision making. If there are medical genetics involved it’s a long prolonged process involving sending off labs that take weeks to come back.
Yes doc, especially those diseases that develop over time and can be treated in early stages unless you never knew about it, those little ****** a medical history wouldn't help catch in time now would they?
 

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He already got the evidence he needs from her phone, it's now time to act to protect himself and the kids.

Oh and OP, DNA test those kids. I sincerely doubt she was ever faithful to you. This is just the first time you caught her.

If one or more of the kids is not yours, the correct genetic medical history may save their lives in an emergency, where the lack thereof may turn out to be a death sentence.
Thank goodness, at least he’s done that. Now he needs to come up with a good and solid escape plan and leave this woman in the dust.
 

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Yes doc, especially those diseases that develop over time and can be treated in early stages unless you never knew about it, those little ** a medical history wouldn't help catch in time now would they?
1. Can you give me an example of a situation you are referring to?
2. Although it could happen what you are referring too is exceedingly unlikely. Which is why I said what I said.
3.You honestly think in this situation she would actually be able to identify the real father?
 

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1. Can you give me an example of a situation you are referring to?
2. Although it could happen what you are referring too is exceedingly unlikely. Which is why I said what I said.
3.You honestly think in this situation she would actually be able to identify the real father?
I'm not going to make an issue out of this save to say DNA matters.
 
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