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Discussion Starter · #181 ·
Perhaps, I only know one though and she's even more trustworthy than me.



Yeah sounds familiar, my ex found her escape in religion, yet then I became her escape within her religion although I wasn't a 'nice guy', but one I guess who she thought wouldn't judge her - and she was right, I'm more forgiving of people's past due my criminal youth.

We live in the big city and she was an escort so despite the numbers it's quite different to your scenario, like she didn't fk everyone in her suburb for instance.

So I guess our situation is much different to yours where she learnt how to abstain until she could unleash compared to your wife.
She lived in the nearby city too, for most of her 20's. She'd ended up back in her hometown in the 6 months or so before we met.
 

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You are ok with her lying, partying, staying out at all hours, smoking pot, having “a drink” (as an alcoholic), getting rides with random dudes, lying some more, partying with work people to “get ahead”, flashing her boobs, getting attention from anyone and everyone she can get it from, and getting MASSIVE implants on your dime all while just having found out she slept with an entire population of a town she used to live in and lied about it while using you. All this and she’s supposed to be a mother and wife.

Can you just admit that having her screw your brains out and looking at her gigantic boobs make you ignore LITERALLY EVERYTHING else that makes her an unsafe spouse? Just.admit.it.
 

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She lived in the nearby city too, for most of her 20's. She'd ended up back in her hometown in the 6 months or so before we met.
In the big city it is easy to disappear, that's why I came to one and never been back to my hometown too. I can believe your wife's story in her settling down because my ex had a similar journey.

But as I mentioned again and again it's not her past it's her present you need to focus on. Who cares about the penises she's sucked or fked in her past, we are both men who can handle that but please do consider what everyone including myself are saying in regards to her lying, lack of trustworthiness and lack of accountability.

Shes made her vows so she needs to learn her responsibilities.
 

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You are ok with her lying, partying, staying out at all hours, smoking pot, having “a drink” (as an alcoholic), getting rides with random dudes, lying some more, partying with work people to “get ahead”, flashing her boobs, getting attention from anyone and everyone she can get it from, and getting MASSIVE implants on your dime all while just having found out she slept with an entire population of a town she used to live in and lied about it while using you. All this and she’s supposed to be a mother and wife.

Can you just admit that having her screw your brains out and looking at her gigantic boobs make you ignore LITERALLY EVERYTHING else that makes her an unsafe spouse? Just.admit.it.
Statistically, his lifestyle doesn't hold up. He's got kids and his literally risking his life living with this woman. If she's cheating, while drinking, she's bringing him, as the Procol Harum song said, "A souvenir of London" home. She's an easy mark for the worst of men. He has a responsibility to his kids!!!
 
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Discussion Starter · #187 ·
Do the numbers really add up though? Late 20, let's say she's been "active" since 15. To get to a thousand, you're talking 66 guys/year. Subtract from that months-to-years of maybe-stable relationships, the number goes higher-still. Maybe a new guy every 3 days.

I seriously don't believe a woman could survive that pace intact, mentally or physically. On the physical side, accidental pregnancy, STDs, STDs, STDs, STDs... statistically, is it even possible she wouldn't have herpes? Even HIV would have been darned near impossible to avoid. She's had drinking issues the whole time, so the idea of consistent protected sex goes out the window. On the mental side, her sense of self-worth would have to take a beating when, as someone mentioned, she'd be seen as the "town bicycle." Ready and available.

So unless she was on an implantable birth control method (because no way would she have been in a position to consistently remember to take a pill, or insist on a condom), I don't think her story, or at perhaps the story being spun here, holds up. So now I'm wondering if there's a reason a woman would try to fabricate a Wilt Chamberlain-type of existence. The real story may not be a good one, but the story being told may be a bizarre way of trying to make recent incidences of infidelity seem like a fly in the ointment.
She had an IUD. She told me that she always used condoms, although I find that hard to believe, as you say, she has/had a drinking problem. If you asked her if she had been with close to 1,000 guys, she would deny it, all she has admitted is that it is "over 100", and she gets annoyed if I try to get any more specific with the numbers.

However, she told me that she didn't like she spend nights on her own, so I said "does that mean every night you found a guy to hook up with?", she said "no, no, no...... every other night, because I was often hungover in between"!
So I've taken that to mean that every other night she was having casual sex with some guy. They wouldn't have all been new guys because she said she had a long list of guys she could call on to "party" with, but she also said that if guys caught feelings or got too into her, she would ditch them. She said she would swap guys in and out of that list.

She also admitted to posting on Craigslist for guys to hook up with, when she was at a loose end. She actually said she was very good at hiding the extent of her promiscuity and that no one knew how bad she was. She did this by finding guys that had no connection to people from her past or friends and family. Despite that, and living in a big city, she said she still ran would have hooked up with a guy and only later on find out they had some sort of connection to people she knew, so she would immediately ghost them, and move on. So she was in a big city, and had slept with SO MANY random guys that she ran into multiple guys that knew people she knew in a suburb miles away. That's like walking down a random street in a city and running into your neighbour, it's very unlikely. But if you walk down every street in the city and do that every day for years, then it's less unlikely!

She worked in a lot of bars and got hit on a lot, and has hooked up with guys on her work break, in the parking lot.

She had boyfriends in this time, but she admitted that while that slowed her down a bit, it didn't slow her down much.

Putting all that together, for her to have slept with over 1,000 men, she would be averaging 2 new guys a week for over 10 years. And given everything above... it seems like it could be that high.
 
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Discussion Starter · #188 ·
You are ok with her lying, partying, staying out at all hours, smoking pot, having “a drink” (as an alcoholic), getting rides with random dudes, lying some more, partying with work people to “get ahead”, flashing her boobs, getting attention from anyone and everyone she can get it from, and getting MASSIVE implants on your dime all while just having found out she slept with an entire population of a town she used to live in and lied about it while using you. All this and she’s supposed to be a mother and wife.

Can you just admit that having her screw your brains out and looking at her gigantic boobs make you ignore LITERALLY EVERYTHING else that makes her an unsafe spouse? Just.admit.it.
I'll guess I'll admit that my attraction to her, her body, and our sex life, including not wanting to break up our family, does mean that I really, really, don't want her to have cheated, and I would need to be 100% sure before I push the nuclear button.
 

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I'll guess I'll admit that my attraction to her, her body, and our sex life, including not wanting to break up our family, does mean that I really, really, don't want her to have cheated, and I would need to be 100% sure before I push the nuclear button.
I’m going to be honest with you, even when you catch her cheating she will lie and gaslight you into submission and you will submit. You will. I can tell just by the way you speak about her and make every excuse in the book on her behalf for her behavior.

You’re with her for the long run. I KNOW the thoughts and doubts that run through your mind when you find out, when it actually happens. (From experience) You are going to play right into those, you do it already and willingly with her. It will be more of the same.

You won’t go nuclear. If you had that capacity it would be detonated already.
 

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She had an IUD. She told me that she always used condoms, although I find that hard to believe, as you say, she has/had a drinking problem. If you asked her if she had been with close to 1,000 guys, she would deny it, all she has admitted is that it is "over 100", and she gets annoyed if I try to get any more specific with the numbers.

However, she told me that she didn't like she spend nights on her own, so I said "does that mean every night you found a guy to hook up with?", she said "no, no, no...... every other night, because I was often hungover in between"!
So I've taken that to mean that every other night she was having casual sex with some guy. They wouldn't have all been new guys because she said she had a long list of guys she could call on to "party" with, but she also said that if guys caught feelings or got too into her, she would ditch them. She said she would swap guys in and out of that list.

She also admitted to posting on Craigslist for guys to hook up with, when she was at a loose end. She actually said she was very good at hiding the extent of her promiscuity and that no one knew how bad she was. She did this by finding guys that had no connection to people from her past or friends and family. Despite that, and living in a big city, she said she still ran would have hooked up with a guy and only later on find out they had some sort of connection to people she knew, so she would immediately ghost them, and move on. So she was in a big city, and had slept with SO MANY random guys that she ran into multiple guys that knew people she knew in a suburb miles away. That's like walking down a random street in a city and running into your neighbour, it's very unlikely. But if you walk down every street in the city and do that every day for years, then it's less unlikely!

She worked in a lot of bars and got hit on a lot, and has hooked up with guys on her work break, in the parking lot.

She had boyfriends in this time, but she admitted that while that slowed her down a bit, it didn't slow her down much.

Putting all that together, for her to have slept with over 1,000 men, she would be averaging 2 new guys a week for over 10 years. And given everything above... it seems like it could be that high.
Thats so much money not made! 🤦‍♂️
Sheesh at least my ex got paid for it lol
 

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She had an IUD. She told me that she always used condoms, although I find that hard to believe, as you say, she has/had a drinking problem. If you asked her if she had been with close to 1,000 guys, she would deny it, all she has admitted is that it is "over 100", and she gets annoyed if I try to get any more specific with the numbers.

However, she told me that she didn't like she spend nights on her own, so I said "does that mean every night you found a guy to hook up with?", she said "no, no, no...... every other night, because I was often hungover in between"!
So I've taken that to mean that every other night she was having casual sex with some guy. They wouldn't have all been new guys because she said she had a long list of guys she could call on to "party" with, but she also said that if guys caught feelings or got too into her, she would ditch them. She said she would swap guys in and out of that list.

She also admitted to posting on Craigslist for guys to hook up with, when she was at a loose end. She actually said she was very good at hiding the extent of her promiscuity and that no one knew how bad she was. She did this by finding guys that had no connection to people from her past or friends and family. Despite that, and living in a big city, she said she still ran would have hooked up with a guy and only later on find out they had some sort of connection to people she knew, so she would immediately ghost them, and move on. So she was in a big city, and had slept with SO MANY random guys that she ran into multiple guys that knew people she knew in a suburb miles away. That's like walking down a random street in a city and running into your neighbour, it's very unlikely. But if you walk down every street in the city and do that every day for years, then it's less unlikely!

She worked in a lot of bars and got hit on a lot, and has hooked up with guys on her work break, in the parking lot.

She had boyfriends in this time, but she admitted that while that slowed her down a bit, it didn't slow her down much.

Putting all that together, for her to have slept with over 1,000 men, she would be averaging 2 new guys a week for over 10 years. And given everything above... it seems like it could be that high.
This does not add up. Nobody can hide a "lifestyle" like that from her workplace, her friends, etc. She'd become known far and wide because the type of guy that hooks up with a woman like that, well, a good percentage of them are going to talk about it, brag to their friends, and go back repeatedly to the well (as she alluded to). And many of these guys would likely be creepers, checking her out on social media and wondering if she was still available. Her name would literally be on bathroom stall walls.

There is nothing she has told you that would have allowed her to escape from being "that woman" that every church and most mothers would use as an example of who you didn't want to become. Your story is so extreme that it goes way beyond the usual "It's a person's right to live the life they choose, without everyone judging them." Why? Because she has put her family at risk. Because it is so extreme that mental illness is assumed rather than considered. And you are in the role of being a facilitator, allowing her to live a dual life, one in which she is a wife and mother and the other...
 

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I'll guess I'll admit that my attraction to her, her body, and our sex life, including not wanting to break up our family, does mean that I really, really, don't want her to have cheated, and I would need to be 100% sure before I push the nuclear button.
Nah, you aren't even close to the nuclear button yet. She has positioned her fleets and missiles while you have cowered before the threat of losing her so she will do as she wishes.

If you want to have a more balanced relationship you can position your fleets and missiles to counter hers, to show that you aren't a doormat and she can't walk over you.

Maybe the nuclear button would be pushed, maybe you two will have find a new working relationship, anything can happen but you do not want to face that risk...

... so yes, she will continue to walk over you mate.
 
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Discussion Starter · #193 ·
This does not add up. Nobody can hide a "lifestyle" like that from her workplace, her friends, etc. She'd become known far and wide because the type of guy that hooks up with a woman like that, well, a good percentage of them are going to talk about it, brag to their friends, and go back repeatedly to the well (as she alluded to). And many of these guys would likely be creepers, checking her out on social media and wondering if she was still available. Her name would literally be on bathroom stall walls.

There is nothing she has told you that would have allowed her to escape from being "that woman" that every church and most mothers would use as an example of who you didn't want to become. Your story is so extreme that it goes way beyond the usual "It's a person's right to live the life they choose, without everyone judging them." Why? Because she has put her family at risk. Because it is so extreme that mental illness is assumed rather than considered. And you are in the role of being a facilitator, allowing her to live a dual life, one in which she is a wife and mother and the other...
I do agree that probably it wasn't as well hidden as she would like to believe. For one reason, I think she wasn't as careful when she was drunk as when she was sober, and I think a lot of stuff happened when she was drunk that she forgot or never remembered. Before she even came clean to me about her past, she admitted, quite out of the blue, that there was a guy that used to call her a "c*m dumpster", so that seems to go against the idea that no one knew.

Maybe in her mind, people she had slept around, but no one knew she was sleeping with random guys on the daily. I guess there is a lot I will never really know.
 

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I do agree that probably it wasn't as well hidden as she would like to believe. For one reason, I think she wasn't as careful when she was drunk as when she was sober, and I think a lot of stuff happened when she was drunk that she forgot or never remembered. Before she even came clean to me about her past, she admitted, quite out of the blue, that there was a guy that used to call her a "c*m dumpster", so that seems to go against the idea that no one knew.

Maybe in her mind, people she had slept around, but no one knew she was sleeping with random guys on the daily. I guess there is a lot I will never really know.
Curious why she didn't just take the escort route, my ex could be choosy with her clientele and services provided, there was also discretion, emphasis on safe sex and she was handled rather gentlemanly for the most part then again it's regulated over here where I live with escort agencies. Over there probably not...
 

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She had boyfriends in this time, but she admitted that while that slowed her down a bit, it didn't slow her down much.
Her character is one that doesn't respect the person with whom she is in a relationship.
So what would make her be different with you?
 

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I'll guess I'll admit that my attraction to her, her body, and our sex life, including not wanting to break up our family, does mean that I really, really, don't want her to have cheated, and I would need to be 100% sure before I push the nuclear button.
Why are you so unwilling / incapable of setting even the most basic expectations, standards and boundaries with your wife?

Why?

why do you continue to tolerate such insanely unacceptable behavior from your wife?

why don’t you have enough self-respect and dignity to say no. No, my ridiculously promiscuous wife will not go out to bars without me (alcoholic or not). No my wife will not go to random peoples houses to hang out with other men. No my wife will not be driven home by random men. No, I will not tolerate my wife lying to me.

why is this so hard for you to require that your wife actually act like a wife?

your wife clearly has zero respect for you as a husband and as a man. She would not behave this way if she did. You are allowing yourself to be a cuckold, let that sink in.

I’m not saying these things to be harsh with you. i’m trying to get you to recognize the reality of your situation, like everyone else has been trying to do, so far unsuccessfully.

so why are you allowing this insane ridiculous situation to continue? Do you actually believe that is it acceptable for wives to behave this way? It’s not. Do you have such low self-respect that you believe you deserve a wife who behaves this way? Are you so weak that you truly can’t enforce any boundaries or expectations with your wife? Or do you actually enjoy being a cuckold?

why?
 

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Perhaps, I only know one though and she's even more trustworthy than me.



Yeah sounds familiar, my ex found her escape in religion, yet then I became her escape within her religion although I wasn't a 'nice guy', but one I guess who she thought wouldn't judge her - and she was right, I'm more forgiving of people's past due my criminal youth.

We live in the big city and she was an escort so despite the numbers it's quite different to your scenario, like she didn't fk everyone in her suburb for instance.

So I guess our situation is much different to yours where she learnt how to abstain until she could unleash compared to your wife.
I confess a knowledge of only a couple and were both cheaters. So I’m not the expert.
 

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"does that mean every night you found a guy to hook up with?", she said "no, no, no...... every other night, because I was often hungover in between"!

She also admitted to posting on Craigslist for guys to hook up with, when she was at a loose end. She actually said she was very good at hiding the extent of her promiscuity and that no one knew how bad she was. She did this by finding guys that had no connection to people from her past or friends and family.

Putting all that together, for her to have slept with over 1,000 men, she would be averaging 2 new guys a week for over 10 years. And given everything above... it seems like it could be that high.
 
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