[side wayz]

I came here when I first found out about the affair. I just decided to post in here now because I need help. First of I work full time go to school full time and I was interning but that ended. Any way my wife of 4 years... She is 25 is having an affair. I found out through a letter she was going to give the OM while at the doctor's office getting my 6 year old her kindergarten shots. Any way I found out she was doing this with a co-worker at her work when she closed on Tuesday's. her mother was with the kids at our house and I was in school. Well I left when I found out she called the police to say I stole her car but then got arrested for a domestic. I didn't hit her actually just shoved her to get off me because she was hitting me. Well any way I went back after. 3 days just happy my wife still loved me. So I'm there and just very suspicious the whole time. Doing all the wrong things snooping in phone her Facebook. Well after Halloween we separated and I was still going to her house in the morning taking her to work then be with the kids until the baby sitter came on Mondays. Then Tuesday I would go to work for 4 hours only because she started at 12pm. Well basically she was having her cake and eating it to. This past Sunday I found she was dating him. Then I started the 180. She blew up my phone Monday night then she texted me if I was watching the girls ( I have 3). I said just drop them off at my moms house which is where I live. She said no then I left it at that. She called me Tuesday morning to say my baby which is 1 was saying dada all morning and thought kit would be nice to hear my voice. I didn't reply. At 9am I texted her and ask may i speak with our older child. She didn't let me. She was trying to argue with me but I didn't cave in. I want to do this 180 for me and get my self esteem back and confidence. But I also want her back. I made mistakes in the past I did I apologized for it. I know my actions speak louder than words. Any advice?
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[Shaggy]

Exposé the affair at her work and to friends and family.

It sounds like you've kept her cheating a secret and just ran off to escape her.

Exposé it.

 

[side wayz]

Man... I posted it in Facebook when I found out. I actually called yesterday to there corporate office and said I was an anonymously employee. But I think she can get fired from it.
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[walkonmars]

Well any way I went back after. 3 days just happy my wife still loved me.

This is a huge mistake on your part.
She's cheating - actively dating another man. Having mind-blowing sex with him.

What do you get? You get charged with auto-theft; domestic violence; you also get to baby sit the kids (who she holds hostage until you approve of her life-style). Does this sound right to you? Any of it. Because friend you are looking at things "side-wayz" and she knows it.

Well any way I went back after. 3 days just happy my wife still loved me.

This is another huge mistake on your part.
.

I came here when I first found out about the affair. I just decided to post in here now because I need help. First of I work full time go to school full time and I was interning but that ended. Any way my wife of 4 years... She is 25 is having an affair. I found out through a letter she was going to give the OM while at the doctor's office getting my 6 year old her kindergarten shots. Any way I found out she was doing this with a co-worker at her work when she closed on Tuesday's.

Is the OM married?
How long has the affair been going on?
Does she offer any 'excuses' ? (you know - reasons why IT'S YOUR FAULT)

her mother was with the kids at our house and I was in school. Well I left when I found out she called the police to say I stole her car but then got arrested for a domestic. I didn't hit her actually just shoved her to get off me because she was hitting me.

NEVER EVER lay a finger on her again. If she starts wailing on you - walk or run away.

Doing all the wrong things snooping in phone her Facebook.

Who in the world raised you? THIS is wrong? what's right? giving her a permission slip?!

with me but I didn't cave in. I want to do this 180 for me and get my self esteem back and confidence. But I also want her back. I made mistakes in the past I did I apologized for it. I know my actions speak louder than words. Any advice?

Unless you cheated on her in the past - there is no excuse - and even if you did - two wrongs .... etc.

 

[Shaggy]

What about the OM, does he have a wife or gf? Exposure there is a must.

 

[keko]

Man... I posted it in Facebook when I found out. I actually called yesterday to there corporate office and said I was an anonymously employee. But I think she can get fired from it.
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What do you value more. The marriage or her work?

 

[My_2nd_Rodeo]

I came here when I first found out about the affair. I just decided to post in here now because I need help. First of I work full time go to school full time and I was interning but that ended. Any way my wife of 4 years... She is 25 is having an affair. I found out through a letter she was going to give the OM while at the doctor's office getting my 6 year old her kindergarten shots. Any way I found out she was doing this with a co-worker at her work when she closed on Tuesday's. her mother was with the kids at our house and I was in school. Well I left when I found out she called the police to say I stole her car but then got arrested for a domestic. I didn't hit her actually just shoved her to get off me because she was hitting me. Well any way I went back after. 3 days just happy my wife still loved me. So I'm there and just very suspicious the whole time. Doing all the wrong things snooping in phone her Facebook. Well after Halloween we separated and I was still going to her house in the morning taking her to work then be with the kids until the baby sitter came on Mondays. Then Tuesday I would go to work for 4 hours only because she started at 12pm. Well basically she was having her cake and eating it to. This past Sunday I found she was dating him. Then I started the 180. She blew up my phone Monday night then she texted me if I was watching the girls ( I have 3). I said just drop them off at my moms house which is where I live. She said no then I left it at that. She called me Tuesday morning to say my baby which is 1 was saying dada all morning and thought kit would be nice to hear my voice. I didn't reply. At 9am I texted her and ask may i speak with our older child. She didn't let me. She was trying to argue with me but I didn't cave in. I want to do this 180 for me and get my self esteem back and confidence. But I also want her back. I made mistakes in the past I did I apologized for it. I know my actions speak louder than words. Any advice?
Posted via Mobile Device

I know all about the type of spouse that wants to escalate to violence. Walk away, a man will always get blamed when in doubt. Plus you have a lot of KISA wannabe type cops out there.

snooping is the RIGHT thing. BS's have instincts for a reason. Plus, you only snooped because you love her - your intentions were fine.

Based on her age and the fact that she has had kids so early... She may be really immature and trying to live the glorified single life.

 

[side wayz]

He has a girlfriend and a kid on the way! I'm like wtf.
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[My_2nd_Rodeo]

He has a girlfriend and a kid on the way! I'm like wtf.
Posted via Mobile Device

By definition, a cheater suspends morals. They don't care who they hurt.

BTW you must tell the girlfriend. For many reasons ( a lot of posts here on why). Don't warn her or the om that you are going to expose them... Don't

 

[side wayz]

Currently she makes way more money than me and we lived in a nice that we rented plus car payments on one car. If she loses that job she loses the house the car and she has to move back in with her parents with 3 kids. But her rent check just bounced it was 12 hundred but also still owed the landlord $200. The landlord called me and I apologized for it. I also said I don't live there so u have to talk to her. Which she never talked to landlord ever. We do have separate bank accounts so the check came from her name.
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[side wayz]

I don't know his girlfriend at all don't know what she looks likes. My wife showed me a picture of her. I guess I can check
Facebook
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[Shaggy]

You need to call the OM gf ASAP. Exposing him to his gf is the very best way to end the affair. He will throw your wife under the bus to save himself.

Do not mention this to your wife or anyone. Just contact the gf and tell her about the affair, give her your number and tell her she can call you anytime she wants to talk.

Then sit back and wait for your wife to get dumped.

 

[Tony55]

I made mistakes in the past I did I apologized for it. I know my actions speak louder than words. Any advice?

1. How old are you?
2. What were the mistakes you made in the past?
3. Why would she let you get arrested if you didn't hit her?

T

 

[Shaggy]

It sounds like she lives with him. Find him on spokeo and pipl.

 

[side wayz]

I'm 27
They happened in the past
She didn't press charges the cops did cuz of scratch on her breast
I have no idea who is girlfriend is.
She does work at Petsmart but a different one
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[Toffer]

Get a small recorder and keep it on you at all times whenever you're with your wife. That way if she starts anything physical with you, you'll have it on tape for when the cops show up

You could also use your cell to record too if it can

 

[Tony55]

They happened in the past

Right, the mistakes happened in the past, but did they happen while you were married? What kind of mistakes? Infidelity? Abuse? What?

T

 

[side wayz]

It happened be fore we were married. No infedelity no way. I lied about money and I wanted to go out with my friends. I use to be a jerk. But I did change. I showed her she loved it. I gave my friends up and almost my family up for her.
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[side wayz]

During the early stages of our marriage like the first 2 years. But I changed when her sister got her kids taken away and me and my wife got them. We 5 kids at that time. 3 of her sister and 2 were mine and I didn't work at the time so took care of all them while she worked.
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[Shaggy]

It sounds like she liked you as a bad boy, then you got nice gutted by her and now she's cheating with a bad boy who's outrunning around on his gf and kid.