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Long story short. My wife worked in an ALDI for about 8 months last year and was fired by the district manager. During the period she has been working there she has talked a lot about him and how much respect how much she admired his way of handling the problems he were given.

She was fired last day in November. I noticed, she the following weeks, spent a lot of time on her pc in the late hours, going to bed around 4 or 5 in the morning, and one night I decided to put a camera up to record during the night. I found out that at one point she ended up masturbating, and I thought I'd look in the history of her browser. She was visiting her former boss Facebook page at the time. I tried to replicate the experiment the following night, and the very same happened and to the boss again. I know it's something people do, but she has called him a lot during January and February and written a long message for him with an apology in Bosnian which he understands.
She has screenshots of all the pictures from his Facebook and she has Googled his address and birthday. And it is now 5 months since she worked there.

We've been married for 5 years, have kids. But her behaviour just seems a little excessive

Aside from the snooping on her pc and phone, which I know is unwise on every moral level. Is it me who is going the wrong way?
 

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I hate to tell you this but I think she may have told him that she had feelings for him and she was rebuffed.
She’s crushing heavily on him and if he had acted differently they would be in a physical affair.
I think you’re going to have to tell her that you know she’s in love with another man and she either stops with the bs or else you will start divorce proceedings.
 

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Long story short. My wife worked in an ALDI for about 8 months last year and was fired by the district manager. During the period she has been working there she has talked a lot about him and how much respect how much she admired his way of handling the problems he were given.

She was fired last day in November. I noticed, she the following weeks, spent a lot of time on her pc in the late hours, going to bed around 4 or 5 in the morning, and one night I decided to put a camera up to record during the night. I found out that at one point she ended up masturbating, and I thought I'd look in the history of her browser. She was visiting her former boss Facebook page at the time. I tried to replicate the experiment the following night, and the very same happened and to the boss again. I know it's something people do, but she has called him a lot during January and February and written a long message for him with an apology in Bosnian which he understands.
She has screenshots of all the pictures from his Facebook and she has Googled his address and birthday. And it is now 5 months since she worked there.

We've been married for 5 years, have kids. But her behaviour just seems a little excessive

Aside from the snooping on her pc and phone, which I know is unwise on every moral level. Is it me who is going the wrong way?
You're not going the wrong way. Trust but verify is the smart way to go. Try to save all the information and see if you can find out more BEFORE confronting her on her inappropriate and disgusting behavior. Do you two have children? I am so sorry you find yourself in this position, but the facts do no bode well.
 

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You have the right to get to things such as this in your marriage. Do not think twice about it being wrong or in moral. She has proven already she cannot be trusted already.

Sorry bro....
 

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Questions..

She was fired by the grocery stores boss, and not by the district manager?

Why was she fired?

It sounds like she is stalking him.

You need to get those texts translated.

As others have said, this looks really bad on her part.

She is having an emotional affair with this district manager.

It may have been more, it may have been physical (sexual), find out what was said in those texts.

Either way, you have lost your wife.

Yes, you have. :|
 

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Aldi? ROTFLMGDFAO!!

Play stupid, get evidence

Get translations, sue for sexual discrimination for her dismissal ( if she was in fact innocent...be careful here. He could have groomed. May need eyes of someone not as emotionally invested but smart and trusting)

Divorce.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Questions..

She was fired by the grocery stores boss, and not by the district manager?

Why was she fired?

It sounds like she is stalking him.

You need to get those texts translated.




As others have said, this looks really bad on her part.

She is having an emotional affair with this district manager.

It may have been more, it may have been physical (sexual), find out what was said in those texts.

Either way, you have lost your wife.

Yes, you have. <a href="http://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/TAMarriage_2015/smilies/tango_face_plain.png" border="0" alt="" title="Serious" >:)</a>
She was fired because she was not "qualified enough" for their student /internship way to become a sales assistant. It was laid on the district manager by the one who is in charge of their students are doing well. They had a fight over the phone since my wife felt that they didn't teach her anything.

So the district manager was ordered to fire her, in front of the store manager, who was brand new.

I got my camera to translate the letter and it sounds like a poem version of "I love the way you work but sorry". If I find a way to post the pictures I will. It leaves a bit concerned that she seems so invested in him.


She has more than once said that she is terrible at keeping secrets and if she had an affair she feel so bad that I'd notice in a heartbeat.
 

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https://drive.google.com/file/d/1OoIavb6BjbnaYEGZd2aSAenNgDglxwe4/view?usp=drivesdk

It was translated through a camera app. It generally seems like an apology. But the way it's written just seems a bit much. Also her guilt? She was being fired for not being taught how to do her work. So what kind of guilt?
And the latest text to him was in February. But she seems to have gotten quite good at remembering her phone. Though she has informed me that she has nothing to hide and I can check it if I want to.
 

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Sorry. Not able to open your app.

An apology is an apology.

I am terribly long winded, just who I am.

Should have sympathy for that 6’8, 340ish pound man my 5’2 130 frame emasculated at Morrisons in Morecambe Bay a few years ago because he tried to intimidate a cashier in front of my children and he needed a lesson in respect. Then entire store heard me put him in his place and cheered as he walked out with his tail between his legs.

Point is, Some people are, some people are not.
Is her native tongue (You said she was Bulgarian) possibly the reason for this?

Are you over thinking things?

Reflect and come to a respectful resolution.


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Discussion Starter #10
Sorry. Not able to open your app.

An apology is an apology.

I am terribly long winded, just who I am.

Should have sympathy for that 6’8, 340ish pound man my 5’2 130 frame emasculated at Morrisons in Morecambe Bay a few years ago because he tried to intimidate a cashier in front of my children and he needed a lesson in respect. Then entire store heard me put him in his place and cheered as he walked out with his tail between his legs.

Point is, Some people are, some people are not.
Is her native tongue (You said she was Bulgarian) possibly the reason for this?

Are you over thinking things?

Reflect and come to a respectful resolution.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thanks for the pov. That's one of the reasons I came here. I don't want to be in the wrong about her if there is nothing to worry about.
That's also why I respect your reply.
My wife comes from Bosnia and speaks and understands it perfectly. So you could have a good point there.

My concern was more aimed at, she got fired so long ago, and still looks up his pictures, address, phone number and birthday. And she even got a new contract with IKEA, so shouldn't she at least have moved on?

Again. I don't want to be overthinking things, but it just seems so weird.
 

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This whole scenario is not unusual.

She values more those who speak her native tongue than those tongues whom she shares spit with.

Their's is this kinship, especially the clan who are Bosnian, especially those who are Serbian.

All else...

All else are felt and tongued inferior. This goes back hundreds of years.

It is so common to identify and value those whom you share kinship with.

The thing about poetry, it is most appreciated by the native tongue readers and listeners.

Others, reading the translation, cannot often, in their bones, appreciate the words. They 'seem', just a collection of words.

Why?

It is the context and the environmental backdrop, all that 'personal' history that flows through, that becomes so special to the native reader.

And, I suspect, 'that poem' has special meaning to her native countrymen.
And herself, of course, else, why cite it?

Hmm?

This incident of her masturbating to his Facebook likeness.

Oh my...

As @Andy1001 has said, she has a serious crush (liking) for the District Manager.
She is fantasizing with her mind, and using her hand to bring him sexually close and making their pairing seem real.

This is why many on this blog, TAM, feel one's country of origin, COO, is so important in how other people view the world and how they act out on this, on our stages of life.


King Brian-
 

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Herr Liechten, machen Sie liecht, nicht, Ihre situation.

Or the Dutch equivalent.

Keep us updated.
 

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She has more than once said that she is terrible at keeping secrets and if she had an affair she feel so bad that I'd notice in a heartbeat.

Again. I don't want to be overthinking things, but it just seems so weird.
That, my man, is womanees for "I'm banging another guy and want to see if my nuances revealed as much".

It seems weird to me too. Most of the time a woman who has the hots of the boss is the last one fired. Men tend to give a lot of latitude to women they're banging.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
Well not much had happened. I'm keeping an eye on her phone and stuff. Nothing new. Though she has deleted the recent search with the boss, from Facebook. And she still goes wild in the bed when I'm not around. I know this because I put up a camera over the bed and told her it was a device for measuring the humidity. She hasn't questioned it.
Her evening walks seem to be as she describes. I found her older s7 edge which was still connected to her Google and Facebook, so that way I know a bit more. I'll give it some time and see if she has changed her behaviour in a few days.
 

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Hell my man, why don't you tell her call you to service her while she pretends you are him.
 

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I don't believe that you have done anything morally unacceptable. She is YOUR WIFE. She is the person who promised to "forsake all others" and "keep (herself) only unto you".
Do yourself a big favor. Don't bother to "wear the PI hat" anymore..... it'll only make you crazy....

You found out. Now you know. No further evidence is needed. Your own judgement that your wife is cheating on you, I'm afraid, is correct.

Here's the problem. For which you need to consult an attorney.....

Find out where you stand legally in this matter. KNOW. And, do it now. If you divorce, where will you go, if you stay, where will you be, etc. Financially, and if there are any kids, custodially where will you be if you divorce. By "where", I mean situationally, not just where you will reside. Money. Kids. Living space.

Always make decisions based on FACTS and never upon emotions. And, do what is best for you and your kids, and don't give one millisecond of consideration to her or her needs and desires.

Know all the answers BEFORE you confront her.
 

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If you can monitor this camera live, be nearby when she gets going and then show up all of a sudden.

What happens next will tell you a lot.
 

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Well not much had happened. I'm keeping an eye on her phone and stuff. Nothing new. Though she has deleted the recent search with the boss, from Facebook. And she still goes wild in the bed when I'm not around. I know this because I put up a camera over the bed and told her it was a device for measuring the humidity. She hasn't questioned it.
Her evening walks seem to be as she describes. I found her older s7 edge which was still connected to her Google and Facebook, so that way I know a bit more. I'll give it some time and see if she has changed her behaviour in a few days.
Is this legal where you live? Be prepared for when she finds out you duped her.
 
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