So i got off work at 2am caught my wife texting a guy on Instagram they were both saying"I love you" and "baby" "babe" stuff like that and And so I broke down and I left and stayed in a hotel. She later found me where I was staying after attempting to call me multiple times and we talked about it while at the hotel. She Confessed to me that she loves me and wants to stay with me but she wants to date and sleep around with other people and for me to do the same pretty much having an open relationship. The reason for this is because we were together since she was 15 years old We are 29 now. we got pregnant so we got married at 18. She confessed to me that she didn't get to date other people or sleep with other people and she Wants to know how it feels like to date someone else and to sleep with someone else sense I'm the only person she's been with Physically and she's the only person I've ever been with too. After talking about it I told her if she wants to sleep Around with other people then we can't be together but if you want to try and save our marriage you have to delete your Instagram, She broke down of course because she loves the guy she was talking with on Instagram, So I decided that she can continue to have that long distance relationship on Instagram. If she promised me not to date or have sex with anyone else, I figured a long distance relationship is better than having her date other guys because I know she's going to get emotionally attached to that person and continue to have sex with them behind my back. I know anyone else would have left divorced but I love my wife, We've been together since 15 years old and I want to continue to be with my wife so I want to fight for our marriage. So my question to you guys is my wife continues to have the urges to date And sleep around with other guys, And it makes me sad that she feels this way and it's hurting our relationship. Any advice would be helpful.
My Wife wants to date other men and sleep with them
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rodrigoramirez1209
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I've felt the way you feel, but I have a wake up call for you. You are not missing anything. The only thing waiting for you is men who will deceive you and probably their pissed off wives or men with so many hang up, problems, and unresolved issues they will make your head spin. Yeah, it will be exciting at first, but then you will look back at the mess of a life you created and realize you were a brat. By then, your husband will have found peace and won't want you back.
Your husband did not trap you. You married each other. Do yourself, him, your families a favor and find a way to leave. Eventually, your husband will anyway when he realizes what a fright you have become. Your attitude is ridiculous. Imagine if he said he would respect you if you let him sleep around and that the only reason you wont is that you are selfish and full of ego. I have news for you: keep it up and he will be looking around as well. What a mess.
I know plenty of people who married their childhood sweetheart and have been married over 30 years. The key to it all is they allowed the other to grow, they talked about it, they grew with the other sexually and emotionally. Also know plenty that went your (and OP) route.
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How did that work out for them? I just can't see a stable family or even any form of real love between spouses in such a morally plastic mess.
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Just because you can't imagine it doesn't mean it's not entirely doable. Not everyone is bound by the same moral code.
Neither gender has a monopoly on treating their spouse badly, they just do so in different ways. For either gender, the abused is very vulnerable to another paying them some attention and making them feel wanted and not rejected. Either gender emotionally abusing spouse is just inviting big problems down the road when someone else begins tending the garden.
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All true.
Yes, with that butt.
Her butt will win plenty of intimacy from men.
But, when it comes to marriage, that lifelong commitment from a man; ah, it must be a good man.
This is where she is in the same boat as any man seeking a mate.
Her butt will not necessarily win her a good man.
Rather, it will be her personality, those mutual compatibilities, her general appearance and her loyalties, those will be the things sought by a man, long term.
I realize that you are talking about scoring with the opposite sex.
That behavior will get old, sooner or later.
Sex is fun, and is fungible, whereas, one's feelings cannot be carelessly tossed about, long term.
It takes a toll.
The exception might be with those sociopaths.
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Those would be the people I would not want to know and would avoid like the plague.
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Bound by "A moral code" There fixed it for her.😁
Very well, then. Do what everyone here is telling you. Divorce him and screw as much as you want.
Why are you too cowardly to divorce your oppressive husband?
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Hi,
I went through and am probably still going through similar things as you. My husband has never asked for an open relationship though. You should not stand for her doing those things. This is a form of cheating in my opinion. I kept making excuses saying oh it isnt physical and he deleted the apps but later on it is likely those same apps or similar ones will appear. She does not care about your feelings and is essentially getting everything she wants while disrespecting you. I would recommend maybe counseling and if she does not make changes then divorce. Think about your child. Is this the life you want your child to see and model their life after?
You stated you wanted freedom and independence but your dependent on your husband which is why you say you can't divorce. If you really want freedom get some big girl pants on and become financially independent then yo can divorce your husband. Until then you're just a whining @$$.
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Are you Thatredhead’s husband?
Sorry, mine wasn't a redhead!
I know people who are the opposite. They regret their sexual past.
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And some people have no morals.
It didn't work out for them. That's my point. In all cases, everyone became miserable and made sad, desperate choices. Divorces were nasty, kids screwed up.
I made that comment in this context:
I know many couples who were childhood sweethearts who have been married happily for over 30 years. (one couple met in first grade and were inseparable since then, died after 62 years of marriage.)
I also know couples who married childhood sweethearts who came to resent their lack of "experiences. In some cases, it led to affairs, anger and divorce. In others, it led to an miserable home life and ultimately angry divorces.
I do not know of any couples (and I have been married 35 years and have moved many times, so I've met a lot of people), who took your attitude and it worked out for them. They all became bitter and selfish and not reasonable. You are getting so much blowback on here because you fall into that description. Your husband did not do this to you. He is not keeping you. If you want out, there are ways. Separate and go live with family if all you want is out. You are on here talking like you expect your husband owes you a solution. Wake up. This is NOT something you two are going to agree on.
I knew a woman in a truly abusive (physically and emotionally) relationship. Husband controlled every penny. She had to produce receipts. She had NO money of her own, he would not let her work outside the home. Do you know what she did? She would go to the grocery store and buy a few more apples than she needed so apples would be on the receipt. Then she would go straight to customer service and return the extra apples. Husband would go through the receipt to see that she had everything she spent money on, but would not notice that she paid for 5 pounds of apples but only brought home 4. She would pocket the cash. She was LITERALLY saving a dollar or two a week so she could have a stash to escape.
So NO, you are not stuck with your husband. You have a selfish and immature attitude that you need to change. Otherwise, the misery you think you feel now because the orgasms are not strong enough or long enough or even existent will be nothing in compared to dealing with a spouse who hates you. Not trying to be mean, just letting you know you are waaaaaayyyy out of line.
I know of a few of them. One couple was similar to OP, they had been together forever and inexperienced. They did swinging and partner swaps and everything else. One day the husband decided to leave his wife for one of the girls he slept with. He left, got stuck paying child support, and things didn't work out with the new girl. His ex wife is now remarried.
I know another married couple who were into 3somes and being swingers. They eventually moved some other girl into their house who tried her level best to destroy the marriage from the inside. The wife tried to off herself and was in the mental ward for a while. Somehow, they managed to work through it and kicked the other girl out of their life. It was a close thing though. They're still together. I knew the wife pretty well. I think she is a really nice girl who is just doing whatever her husband wants. She almost didn't survive it. Literally.
I know a stay at home husband married to a bread winner wife. He stays home with the kids while she's out banging other dudes when she has free time off work. He tries and fails to get the attention of other women but he's such a **** simp that none of them will touch him. This poor guy has no respect for himself anymore. His wife took it from him when she suggested the open marriage and stuck him at home alone.
I know another guy who pays the bills at home while his wife keeps a boyfriend on the side. They're open about it. Everyone who knows them knows that the wife and broke boyfriend only keep dude around for his wallet. She even posts on FB pics with her kid and the kid's "other dad."
Most of the ones I've seen crash and burn eventually. People just wanna be able to get permission to sleep around until they find a better deal, then they move on for real.
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You are correct, and I get this. I will rephrase, "a few women here".
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