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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
My wife and I have been together for the past 12 years and been married for the past 4 and a half. We have 2 daughters, a 1 year old and a 3 year old. Two weeks ago she informed me that she no longer loves me and has been going through the motions for the past 2 years.

Upon further discussion she told me that she wasn’t sure she ever loved me, at least not in that “romantic” way. She said she never realized it before but almost everything she has done in her life she has done because she thought it was what she was supposed to do. Marriage, kids, the big house… it’s not what she wants now and deep inside she thinks she never wanted it. She told me she relished her time alone and that she never misses me when I was not there.

She did say that she does love our kids and would never give them up but she feels she only had them because that just what people do. She said she hated her life and what she wanted was simple, to be alone. She said the only thing that would make her happy was to work (she loves her job) and at the end of the day to go home alone to her own small apartment. That’s all she wanted. To be alone.

She does want to spend time with our kids but she realizes now that was not what she was meant to do. She is a very loving mother and this is not a ploy to get away and leave them with me. Her life is not what she wanted it to be and she believes being alone, working her job and having no one to answer to is what she needs to be happy.

When I heard all this, I was devastated. I believe we have the marriage that others look up to. From the outside looking in we have a perfect life; we both love our jobs and make a very good living, we have 2 great children and in public are very affectionate towards one another. At first I thought what she was telling me was all out of the blue but on reflection I did see the signs that were always there.

I have my good points and bad points just like anyone else.

The Good
-I am a moral person; very honest & trustworthy
-I am a good friend (I am always willing to help out a friend)
-I am a very attentive father. I take days off and pull the kids out of daycare to spend time with them, I make the vast majority of meals in the household and I change the diapers and put both the kids the majority of the time.
-I have been very supportive to my wife in one aspect in particular. She was sexually abused many years before we met and she had many issues. I encouraged her to seek professional help, which she did and after many years of ups and downs I stuck by her and today she is much, much better. She is till a little “scarred” but all in all a much more secure and stable person then when we first met.

The Bad
-I am stubborn.
-Although I do make the majority of the meals and am very hands on with the kids, the things that are important to my wife, like cleaning the house, doing the laundry, etc… I am not so good at.
-Due to the nature of my work, my schedule does change from time to time. I do not always update my wife immediately with my schedule changes, which affects not only her but her parents that often help out by watching the kids.
-My wife’s work is important to her. She likes to talk about it. I often tune her out. As she puts it, with her as well as all my friends I only care about what interests me, namely the arts. (my profession)

The Ugly
-I love sex. My wife: not so much. It could be due to the sexual abuse in her past or could simply be a lower sex drive but I want it far more often than her. She has come a long way and opened up quite a bit sexually but I still push her. I mentioned that we are an affectionate couple in public but I can be a little too affectionate. Okay, I sometimes grope. As well, I am constantly making references to sex. It’s way too much and sometimes a bit inappropriate.
-As my wife has pointed out, I always want it to lead to sex. It’s never just a little kiss with me. It’s never just a back massage. I always want it to lead to sex. I never have and never would force myself on her but I do push her limits. When she is into it, the sex is really good, when she isn’t into it and I push well she isn’t into it and it’s not good. I need to remind myself that for whatever reason that she doesn’t want it as much as myself, especially considering the sexual abuse in her past, I need to respect that she cannot be sexual as often as I want her to be.

There is hope.

Even though she said that she isn’t happy and hasn’t been for a long time. Even though she says she no longer loves me and isn’t sure if she ever has. Even though the only way she feels she can ever be happy is by being alone with no one else in her life. Despite all this, she is willing to try and make it work, for the sake of the kids more than anything else. We mutually agreed to seek counseling and have our first appointment a week from now. When I say willing to work on it she has said for as long as 5 years! This does give me hope and in the past 2 weeks I have reflected on my past mistakes and what I/we need to do to get through this. I want to change for 2 reasons: To keep my wife in my life and have her fall back in love with me and because I want to be a better person. Here are a few of the changes I have made in the past 2 weeks:

I ask her how her day went. Ask about her job. I listen and care about what she is saying.

I am still affectionate with her but it is now a quick squeeze of the hand, a peck on the cheek, that sort of thing… I do not grope her in private or public. I do not talk about her body parts and how much I adore them (a bad habit of mine) And I am extremely conscious not to make her feel like a sexual object.

I give her space, or as much as I can. At first I was too attentive; something that I know will only make matters worse but I just couldn’t help myself. I would stroke or grab her hand, many kisses on the cheek, any excuse to hold or touch her… It was only annoying her and I could see that. I have since dialed that back and resist the urge to overcrowd her. I still continue with the small gestures of affection, enough to remind her that I love her but hopefully not so much as to make her feel smothered. This is one of the hardest things to do as my instinct is to hold her as tight as possible every moment I can.

I have made a great effort to do all those small things that are important to my wife. I have kept her apprise of any schedule changes, I make a solid effort to clean the house, I think about everything I do and how it affects her.

All in all, I feel great about the changes I have made so immediately in my life. I feel miserable about the situation and the fact that my wife may not be in my life forever but am hopeful in the knowledge that she is willing to work on it (up to 5 years!) I know that I can make and maintain the changes that will make me a better person and show her how important she is to me. I don’t know if it is enough to make her fall in love with me again or if she is truly meant to be alone. Whatever happens I will come out of this a better person.

Update
Things seem stable. There have been a few flare ups of “I hate my life” from my wife but I give her as much space as I can and our time together for the most part seems not too bad. It may be somewhat muted but it feels like we are re-building. I do my best to suppress the urge to talk and analyze the situation with her over and over again but to show her by my actions. I have made many small changes and am sticking with it. I do see her trying as well. Small gestures but enough to see that she is making an effort.

We had a date last night. A movie followed by dinner. At the movie I resisted every urge to hold her hand. I reminded myself that she needs her space. At the beginning of the movie her body language told me that she did not want to touch her as she was tense and her body was turned in her seat away from me. It was hard but I did not reach out to her. About a half hour into the movie her body relaxed and she turned ever so slightly towards me. Another 15 minutes passed and she grabbed my hand. I looked over with a huge grin. She smiled back, shrugged her shoulders and said that “she was cold”.

I don’t have to tell you how good that made me feel. At dinner after the movie things were nice. Tentative, but nice. She talked about her work. I listened. It felt a bit like it did when we were first dating. It started to feel really good.

In my mind I was thinking that things were on their way back to being normal. I will admit I got more than a little too self-confident. I started thinking she was already becoming attracted to me again. I even thought she might want to have sex tonight. Actually I was pretty darn certain she would want to have sex. This is more or less the scenario running through my head:

We’ll get home, we’ll go to bed, things will get a little cozy, she will want to start kissing… and that will lead to her to want more... More being…sex. That is where the new-and-improved-emotionally-connected husband kicks in. The-NO-let’s-stop-and-work-on-rebuilding-our-intimacy-husband kicks in.

Well that’s not exactly the way things panned out.

We got home. I got in bed and waited. Eventually my wife climbed into bed beside me and that’s when things didn’t go exactly as planned. She wasn’t frantic to hold me, to kiss me, in fact her body was turned the other way…

I pulled up close behind her. I put my arms around her and touched her ever so lightly. Nothing sexual just enough to remind her that I was there and to awaken the desire that surely must be simmering in her.

Still nothing.

She wasn’t stiffening or pushing me away, she was... well she wasn’t doing anything. I knew she didn’t want to go straight to sleep. I mean she held my hand at the movie theatre! Clearly she was nervous and unsure if it was okay to be affectionate. I decided that a kiss on the cheek was all that was needed to show her. Then she would be over me, and that’s when I would put on the brakes and tell her how important it was that we wait. Then she would surely see how much I had changed. How much I was willing to work on this. How I no longer saw her as a sexual object… So just a quick peck on the cheek…

Wrong thing to do.

“What are you doing? I’m trying to sleep.” she yelped.

I did my best to assure her that I kissed her because I thought she wanted me too. I insisted I did not expect or want it to lead to anything more than that.

My first instinct was to turn my back to her, to leave the room, maybe even sleep on the couch… I stopped myself from over reacting and simply said: “I’m sorry”. I asked her if I could put my arms around her. At first she said no but a few minutes later she said she would snuggle and we fell to sleep in each others arms.

Things still feel pretty good. It has only been 2 weeks but it feels like we are on the mend or at the very least on the road to discovering what path we need to take. I pushed her too quickly. I know that and I know that I need to let her come to me when she is ready. The small affectionate gestures are enough to remind her of how I feel. She knows I still love her and she will be intimate when she is ready.

Writing and posting this has been extremely therapeutic to me. I post this in the hopes that others in a similar situation may benefit from hearing my story. I also welcome any words of encouragement or advice from other members of this site. I do not want to hear “She’s cheating on you man!” She is not. Her entire schedule is accounted for and there are no changes to raise any suspicions, there are no attempts at hiding her e-mails, texts, call history on her cel phone… and simply put, she wouldn’t cheat. Neither of us would. And no woman that was having an affair on her husband would be willing to stick around and try and make it work for up to 5 years.

There you have it. My story. Albeit a bit long-winded but it has felt great to put it down to words. I’m not perfect. She’s not perfect. I am working on it. She is working on it. Will we stay together? I do not know but I am definitely what you would describe as an optimist and I have very high hopes!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Sometimes I suppose... She says she has been pretending to be happy for several years. I would say she comes across more angry than depressed.
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It's very possible she fell out of love over time. I think she's built up anger and resentment for you. For example, you mentioned the sex and how whenever things started off innocent, it always led to sex. That was a biggie in my previous marriage. My EX would mention her discontent from time to time, but I was stubborn...and horny. And many times, I would caress her with no intentions of having sex and then suddenly...bam! It didn't help that she was very attractive too.
There were other little things that built up too: sometimes not following through on the little things or a project.
I also did way too much in taking care of our family while she was depressed and withdrawn from the kids. I think she resented me for that as well.
People that are depressed think from a very irrational point of view. She only viewed the negative and ignored all the positives that were in our marriage. She ended up having an affair that destroyed our marriage, because she thought she found the happiness she was sorely lacking. She just never realized it starts from within us.
I'm not saying your wife is cheating on you. You're probably right that she hasn't. But be careful that she doesn't eventually look at that option as a way of finding happiness or a way of filling in the gap in her life.
The fact you have internalized and recognized your flaws is huge. That's the first step in trying to help repair your marriage. You probably already realize you can't fix her. You can only fix yourself. And when you do, hopefully she'll be along for the ride with the new and improved you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thanks for the insight and reassurance. Exactly what I was looking for in this forum!
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Eliminate the possibility of another man.

Start investigating. It does not have to be this but you cannot work on the marriage if there is another man.

If she is close to any of her male friends do not discount this as innocent. She could be in an EA.
 

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I agree with Entropy that one should always rule out the OM possibility.
He's 100% right. If she's having an affair, especially EA, she's checked out. My EX left our marriage thinking we tried working on the marriage. She was 1/2 right. I tried everything, but it was all for nothing because she was trapped in the FOG till the very end.
 

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Eliminate the possibility of another man.

Start investigating. It does not have to be this but you cannot work on the marriage if there is another man.

If she is close to any of her male friends do not discount this as innocent. She could be in an EA.
Mm hmm. :iagree:

Mr335, do you need advice on this? Start w/ accessing communications: her phone, email and FB.
 

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I really think you are doing very well and tge previous suggestions are perfect. I have only a few things to add.

I mean no disrespect to your wife however, I think you need to consider that she may be cheating. Trust but varify. Frequently, spouses who are in EA or PA suddenly change their view on the quality of their marriage. This is not the only explanation for her revelation that she has been unhappy.

Some Women take a while to give up on an unhappy relationship. By the time they want out, it is over for them. Often the decision comes after they have made several attempts to get their husbands to pay more attention to what is important to them. A request to stop groping is a biggie to women who don't wcome it.

It sounds like you have reason to be optimistic if the problem is the latter. I think you are doing most things right.

One thing is that may want to consider is that you shoud not become subservient to her. Don't do more of the household chores than your share. Work out a fair distribution of chores. Also, don't hang on her every word and action.

Being loving is good but going overboard will be seen as weak. Pay attention to her needs but you need to make sure that she will give your needs attention too. When you are more on track you can tackle that issue.

Good luck.
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Let me be clear that no one is saying she is in an affair. I would suggest investigating this even if you were 99.9% sure it was something else. Why? Because this is something you can take action on. Eliminate this possiblity. It does not mean that in paralell you can't pursue other directions. But if there is another man you must stop that. She may not realize herself there is OM. She may just have a very good freind who really gets and her and so on.

But history rewriting can come with an affair. Indeed she mat be done.

Often a walk away wife did indicate to her husband years ago there were problems. Frankly he may not have picked up on it . Or she stopped complaining and us guys assume that things got better. Duh!?
Sometimes they just feel you should know. Sigh.

She may not be satisfied with herself. You are not making her happy. Happiness comes within. Yes I do what I can do all I can do to make my wife happy. I can do my part. But she must be willing to do her part.

Rule out the affair. DoNOT disregard innocnet loking non sexual contact. EAs are about bonding and can turn romantic / sexual at some point but the real damage is done before that time. People tend to destroy the primary relationship before they can move on. Not always but typically.

It also can only help that you work on yourself. Start lifting weights and be loving as Catherine states but do not be weak about it. That is not attractive. You want to be her lover, friend and husband not her man servant.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Thank you everyone for the input.

I feel very strongly about trusting her and NOT entertaining the notion of an affair. Our relationship has always been a relationship built on trust. I trust her completely and I know she trusts me completely.

Entropy, for the sake of argument, if, and this is a big IF, if she is having an affair, emotional or physical it isn't in fact something I can take action on. Other than calling it quits I could not make her stop. It would be entirely her decision.

I see an improvement. I see her working at it and I see myself sticking with it. She said that would work on our marriage for the sake of our kids but she also said that she wasn't ready to give up on our marriage. She values what it stands for just like me.

Five years.

She said she wanted to try and make our marriage work and that she wouldn't give up easily. She said she was prepared to work on it for up to 5 years. That shows commitment.

At the risk of sounding stoic, I do not want to change my beliefs to discover what I already know, that she isn't having an affair. At the end of this journey I want to feel good about myself.

I have read many posts on this forum and other forums as well and I do see the parallels between my situation and others. I recognize the pattern: woman tells man what bothers her, man ignores woman, woman starts nagging, man continues to ignore... and yes, then the woman checks out of the relationship. I think there is time to salvage our marriage. I was told in time. Barely in time, but in time. My wife has not done anything rash.

Her "man servant"

Yes, there is a danger. I have caught myself several times heading in that direction. This will be one of the toughest things to avoid but both my wife and I have always been independent. It's hardest right now while the wound is fresh but I'm pretty certain I can regain my independence and not succumb to becoming her man servant.

I would love to hear from anyone out there that has been in this situation with a positive ending, meaning they saved their marriage, that neither spouse cheated and that they are as in love with each other as they ever were.
 

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Thank you everyone for the input.

I feel very strongly about trusting her and NOT entertaining the notion of an affair. Our relationship has always been a relationship built on trust. I trust her completely and I know she trusts me completely.

Entropy, for the sake of argument, if, and this is a big IF, if she is having an affair, emotional or physical it isn't in fact something I can take action on. Other than calling it quits I could not make her stop. It would be entirely her decision.

I see an improvement. I see her working at it and I see myself sticking with it. She said that would work on our marriage for the sake of our kids but she also said that she wasn't ready to give up on our marriage. She values what it stands for just like me.

Five years.

She said she wanted to try and make our marriage work and that she wouldn't give up easily. She said she was prepared to work on it for up to 5 years. That shows commitment.

At the risk of sounding stoic, I do not want to change my beliefs to discover what I already know, that she isn't having an affair. At the end of this journey I want to feel good about myself.

I have read many posts on this forum and other forums as well and I do see the parallels between my situation and others. I recognize the pattern: woman tells man what bothers her, man ignores woman, woman starts nagging, man continues to ignore... and yes, then the woman checks out of the relationship. I think there is time to salvage our marriage. I was told in time. Barely in time, but in time. My wife has not done anything rash.

Her "man servant"

Yes, there is a danger. I have caught myself several times heading in that direction. This will be one of the toughest things to avoid but both my wife and I have always been independent. It's hardest right now while the wound is fresh but I'm pretty certain I can regain my independence and not succumb to becoming her man servant.

I would love to hear from anyone out there that has been in this situation with a positive ending, meaning they saved their marriage, that neither spouse cheated and that they are as in love with each other as they ever were.
I can relate dude, I can totally relate... and I am working on a good outcome I will share with you. We did the cyclical thinkg as you describe: W complains, H ignores, W complains some more, H ignores. Looking back I think my wife checked out about 6-8 years ago. Fortunately she wouldn't physically leave me as her moral/religious convictions would not allow her. During this time I tried many things to "fix" her but I simply could not do it. The reason I couldn't do it was, you guessed it, it wasn't her that neeed fixing. While my wife has many faults (as we ALL do), I see now that I was guilty of being hypercritical and, w/o knowing, trying to control her in many ways. I will spare you the details of this, the important thing is that despite my thinking that she was not measuring up for so many years, countless failed attempts at fixing her, I finally came to the realization that it was my responsibility to step up to the plate, swallow some pride and be the husband my wife was (silently) begging me to be. I was always loyal/honest/faithful/etc with her, but THAT IS NOT ENOUGH. I have read many books on relationships that describe "her needs," I understood the concepts but for some reason I never really thought it applied to my situation. I was wrong. It has only been a few weeks since I had this epiphany, I can tell you my wife is definitely noticing changes in my behavior toward her. This might sound like I have placed extra burden upon myself, however it has been extremely liberating to me. All those negative controlling thoughts and behaviors were somehow making me a prisoner in my own mind. Nothing she could do would please me, thus until recently I thought I wanted to leave too. As I really started to dig, however, it finally struck me like a ton of bricks--it was me that needed to change. I dreaded the idea at first, even denied it (God please "say it ain't so"), but now that I have embraced it I see each day as a blessing to be married to my wife. It is not always easy or natural to do this, but I am doing my best to realign my actions with this new mindset. The proverbial ton of bricks that hit me, in reality, feels like a ton has been lifted from my shoulders. Let me know if this story rings true for you, based on what you wrote I do see some parallels.
 

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I feel very strongly about trusting her and NOT entertaining the notion of an affair.

Pity. Be willing to do what is needed to save a marriage is critical. You simply do not understand emotional affairs. Sorry this is going to cripple your ability then.

Entropy, for the sake of argument, if, and this is a big IF, if she is having an affair, emotional or physical it isn't in fact something I can take action on. Other than calling it quits I could not make her stop. It would be entirely her decision.

You are wrong. My wife saved our marriage when I was in an EA.

At the risk of sounding stoic, I do not want to change my beliefs to discover what I already know, that she isn't having an affair. At the end of this journey I want to feel good about myself.

Ok, so why dod you post here is you already had all the answer and / or are unwilling to change?
Glad you have it all figured out. Good luck.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 · (Edited)
I can relate dude, I can totally relate... and I am working on a good outcome I will share with you. We did the cyclical thinkg as you describe: W complains, H ignores, W complains some more, H ignores. Looking back I think my wife checked out about 6-8 years ago. Fortunately she wouldn't physically leave me as her moral/religious convictions would not allow her. During this time I tried many things to "fix" her but I simply could not do it. The reason I couldn't do it was, you guessed it, it wasn't her that neeed fixing. While my wife has many faults (as we ALL do), I see now that I was guilty of being hypercritical and, w/o knowing, trying to control her in many ways. I will spare you the details of this, the important thing is that despite my thinking that she was not measuring up for so many years, countless failed attempts at fixing her, I finally came to the realization that it was my responsibility to step up to the plate, swallow some pride and be the husband my wife was (silently) begging me to be. I was always loyal/honest/faithful/etc with her, but THAT IS NOT ENOUGH. I have read many books on relationships that describe "her needs," I understood the concepts but for some reason I never really thought it applied to my situation. I was wrong. It has only been a few weeks since I had this epiphany, I can tell you my wife is definitely noticing changes in my behavior toward her. This might sound like I have placed extra burden upon myself, however it has been extremely liberating to me. All those negative controlling thoughts and behaviors were somehow making me a prisoner in my own mind. Nothing she could do would please me, thus until recently I thought I wanted to leave too. As I really started to dig, however, it finally struck me like a ton of bricks--it was me that needed to change. I dreaded the idea at first, even denied it (God please "say it ain't so"), but now that I have embraced it I see each day as a blessing to be married to my wife. It is not always easy or natural to do this, but I am doing my best to realign my actions with this new mindset. The proverbial ton of bricks that hit me, in reality, feels like a ton has been lifted from my shoulders. Let me know if this story rings true for you, based on what you wrote I do see some parallels.
Sillyputty, yes there are many parallels. I see you doing exactly what I have been doing and hopefully there will be a great outcome for both of us. There is a possibility that both us might have have caught it in time. I wish you all the luck in the world.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
A little more insight...

My wife has stated that she wants to be alone. She suspects that is what she always wanted. From a young age she has moved from partner to partner with very little time between to just be alone.

Her need to be alone is possibly a result of the sexual abuse in her past. I have asked her if she thinks that is the reason, to which her reply was "It might be"
 

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Sometimes I suppose... She says she has been pretending to be happy for several years. I would say she comes across more angry than depressed.
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Depression is anger turned inwards.

It can also cause low tolerance, anxiety, and bursts of anger towards others.

I feel very strongly about trusting her and NOT entertaining the notion of an affair. Our relationship has always been a relationship built on trust. I trust her completely and I know she trusts me completely.
Every relationship is based on trust. Even relationships that involve cheating. Yours is really no different from all the others. She trusts you completely because you have never given her a reason not to trust you, yet you trust her completely despite reasons NOT to trust her.


Entropy, for the sake of argument, if, and this is a big IF, if she is having an affair, emotional or physical it isn't in fact something I can take action on. Other than calling it quits I could not make her stop. It would be entirely her decision.
Why can't you do anything to stop an affair? There are many things you can do to "try" and stop an affair and if you fail, then there's always the option to just leave rather than sit there and put up with it which is also known as "being a cuckhold".

Her need to be alone is possibly a result of the sexual abuse in her past. I have asked her if she thinks that is the reason, to which her reply was "It might be"
The old "sexually abused as a child" excuse.

Enough of that already. If that's the reason then she can get her butt into counseling and at least try to fix it.

I'm pretty certain I can regain my independence and not succumb to becoming her man servant.
By doing nothing to improve your situation other than "waiting her out" you are doing exactly that. Your relationship has become all about what SHE wants.
 

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A little more insight...

My wife has stated that she wants to be alone. She suspects that is what she always wanted. From a young age she has moved from partner to partner with very little time between to just be alone.

Her need to be alone is possibly a result of the sexual abuse in her past. I have asked her if she thinks that is the reason, to which her reply was "It might be"
You know what I think Mr 335.

Your wife is selfish.

I understand her past abuse. And you were right to support her desire to seek help.

And MC is also a good step to find out truly what her issues are.

But guess what.

You both decided to marry each other.
You both decided to start a family.
You both have responsibilities to each other, the marriage and the children.

Her desire to be alone is selfish of her. The day she decided to marry and have children that option flew right out the window.

She loves her job. Does she love it so much that you became the chief cook and bottle washer.

She sounds selfish. And you putting her on any kind of pedestal or taking up all the slack at home has not helped the situation.

I do not think you are doomed but if I was you I would not make any long term plans with your wife.

Your wife reminds me of a woman not in a affair but one that came out of one recently. I hope that is not the case.

Good Luck and Keep posting. There are a few couples that have reconciled successfully. I am sure you will hear from them soon.

HM64
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
The old "sexually abused as a child" excuse.

Enough of that already. If that's the reason then she can get her butt into counseling and at least try to fix it.
She has gone to counselling and has come leaps and bounds. As well, we are starting counselling together and she is fully prepared and expecting to speak about and address the issues from her past.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
You know what I think Mr 335.

Your wife is selfish.

I understand her past abuse. And you were right to support her desire to seek help.

And MC is also a good step to find out truly what her issues are.

But guess what.

You each decided to marry each other.
You both decided to start a family.
You both have responsibilities to each other, the marriage and the children.

Her desire to be alone is selfish of her. The day she decided to marry and have children that option flew right out the window.

She loves her job. Does she love it so much that you became the chief cook and bottle washer.

She sounds selfish. And you putting her on any kind of pedestal or taking up all the slack at home has not helped the situation.

I do not think you are doomed but if I was you I would not make any long term plans with your wife.

Your wife reminds me of a woman not in a affair but one that came out of one recently. I hope that is not the case.

Good Luck and Keep posting. There are a few couples that have reconciled successfully. I am sure you will hear from them soon.

HM64
All excellent points and duly noted.

I look forward to our first counselling appointment together and will keep everyone apprised.
 
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