[vanthebajaman]

For any of you that can relate, my wife asked me to join her for a discussion and in doing so I was told she was moving out into a small guest house of a friends and was going to take my girls. Now, are troubles are not new, she has had a tremendous amount of animosity for well over 8-1o years but for sure they were not all bad years. Bottom line; It has been a super tough 3 years with a down real estate market and losing millions. Lawsuits from investors who lost money, financial difficulties etc have been part of life and nothing could be done to avoid them. Her is the incredible thing.She has been so unloving, abusive, non construction, has not offered one bit of emotional support, told me she loves me for so long I cannot remember when she did. Not that she does not, not that she does not care, she just has emotionally shut down long ago. There is no question we will divorce but even with the nightmare emotional abandonment I still love her like nothing on earth. I do not understand why I feel this way about her and I don't know how to stop loving her so the pain will die off and I can renew myself by starting over an so much of my life. Any good advice?

 

[Frost]

Sorry to hear about this. What I can say is probably pretty obvious. You will have to ride out the whole range of emotions from hurt to anger to acceptance and realizing you can start again and be happy without her.

My first wife left after 13 years. We both knew it would end up that way in the final few years but it still is difficult to go through and deal with. In the long run it ended up being the best thing for both of us and we are both much happier.

The best advice I can give is to try to keep your emotions in check so you can deal with the divorce and maintain a healthy relationship with your children. You daughters will need your support and attention. Lean on family and friends, find some distractions, and let time heal you. Heartbreak is a terrible thing, but I promise you it does get better.

 

[BlueEyedBeauty]

I am very sorry to hear that things are not well, for you and your wife. I do want too let you, know this though- if you really are so much in love with her and love her just as much your love, for her will not just die off- and it would not end just like that. True love, is something that will stick within your heart forever; the feelings will always be there- even if you, do end up getting a divorce from her, your love will remain within your heart and soul...
Has she cheated on you, and is she seeing someone? What, has really made all of this take place? I know though for awhile there my husband also has been and was not so loving, and he did and said all the things that you said your wife has said to you...

So, I know how she, has made you, feel here. When, someone tells you, that they do not care (about something that does mean something to us) it will hurt- it also hurts when the person does not show their love for you, and does not even bearly say it to you. It is something that would, make you, feel like you are doing something wrong when it does come down to it. But, you really have to ask yourself though- if you, do want to try to work things out. Is it really worth it- will she change- will things be any better? I really do not know- but I think though the reason behind all of this is why, she did stop saying these things and why, she has been so abusive towards you, is she is cheating on you, or she has been talking to someone else and she thinks she is falling for this person