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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
My wife and I have been together for 23 years. She was 17 when we first started dating. We have been together the hole time. We havent spilt up for even one day in all that time. I am to blame for this to a point. In 1984 I damaged my back in 89 I was paralyzed temporarily in a car crash with a smashed 30% L1 vertebra. 2001 I was hurt at work and blew out my L4 and L5 disc. At that time we moved out of state. To go work for my folks. To keep from blowing back out even more. We moved there and I started losing control of my left leg from nerve damage. So I was forced to have a operation. That means I could no longer work doing anything I have ever done all I have ever known. My L4 was bulging and my L5 was extruded to the point the doc said it was the wurst he had seen in 20 years. Needless to say I could not stand or sit for very long for a year. Not long after my dad went down in a plane crash. He lived but bled out and died two times before he got to the hospital where he was dead 30 mins before being brought back. The wishes of my stepmother. So now we have moved to a new state I have no job. I have lost my ability do the kinda work I know. We have no friends other then my stepmother that sees me as a strange bird in her nest. Around 06 we saw the economy taking a dump so we headed back to our home town. Dec of 07 I was rear ended by a 19 year old kid doing 80mph texting. He increased the L1 compression to 50% and my L4 L5 and found out I have kidney disease . Ya it finaly broke me. And I started having social depression. I have not been able to work this whole time. Not by my wishes. Now we have two kids and my wife has gone back to work. The one place I didn't want her. A casino. She went there because she wanted to work at night and get up around 2pm for the kids. Now she makes more thena I can and because she sleeps I can't even try to get a job. And now after 23 years and not split up one day in all that time. She said she is wanting a divorce. She said it will help me get better. Cop out! What can I do? She said Im a good father and husband. I don't know what I will do if she leaves me. I love her more then my own life and I always will. .
 

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My wife and I have been together for 23 years. She was 17 when we first started dating. We have been together the hole time. We havent spilt up for even one day in all that time. I am to blame for this to a point. In 1984 I damaged my back in 89 I was paralyzed temporarily in a car crash with a smashed 30% L1 vertebra. 2001 I was hurt at work and blew out my L4 and L5 disc. At that time we moved out of state. To go work for my folks. To keep from blowing back out even more. We moved there and I started losing control of my left leg from nerve damage. So I was forced to have a operation. That means I could no longer work doing anything I have ever done all I have ever known. My L4 was bulging and my L5 was extruded to the point the doc said it was the wurst he had seen in 20 years. Needless to say I could not stand or sit for very long for a year. Not long after my dad went down in a plane crash. He lived but bled out and died two times before he got to the hospital where he was dead 30 mins before being brought back. The wishes of my stepmother. So now we have moved to a new state I have no job. I have lost my ability do the kinda work I know. We have no friends other then my stepmother that sees me as a strange bird in her nest. Around 06 we saw the economy taking a dump so we headed back to our home town. Dec of 07 I was rear ended by a 19 year old kid doing 80mph texting. He increased the L1 compression to 50% and my L4 L5 and found out I have kidney disease . Ya it finaly broke me. And I started having social depression. I have not been able to work this whole time. Not by my wishes. Now we have two kids and my wife has gone back to work. The one place I didn't want her. A casino. She went there because she wanted to work at night and get up around 2pm for the kids. Now she makes more thena I can and because she sleeps I can't even try to get a job. And now after 23 years and not split up one day in all that time. She said she is wanting a divorce. She said it will help me get better. Cop out! What can I do? She said Im a good father and husband. I don't know what I will do if she leaves me. I love her more then my own life and I always will. .
I am extremely sorry for what you have been through! That being said, you talk a lot about what happened to you, the circumstances and how you felt. But you did not mentioned your wifes feelings and what you love about her. It just seems you are afraid of being alone, now that you need someone.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 · (Edited)
Well, should I be afraid of losing the only thing that matters to me? What do I love about her? Well before this happened almost everything her smile kills me. I love when she smiles. I love her heart. I love her wants and desires. We see eye to eye on most everything. We agree on politics religion and and morals. We even agreon how to raise our kids. We met at a car show. We have the same hobbies except one, horses. We just can't afford that kind of hobby or the time it takes to take care of one. So we have a friend that lets her ride her horses.
The things she is mad about is good a reason. One I don't have a job. The second is I don't go with her when she takes the kids to do things. Man I didn't realize that I was doing that to the point it bothered her. I guess staying at home with the kids I start pulling my hair out. And I need a break. I never would have been like that if I had any idea. Another thing is things like me not understanding. She works till between 5am and 10am in the morning. I don't see her till around 3pm that after noon. And starts getting ready at 6pm for work. So when her days off come around it means. A lot to me that she gets all the rest she can get. So what happened is she didn't get any sleep. The day before she was off. So she needed sleep badly. She pops up and says on her day off she has to go in for a department wide meeting at 9:00am. You could imagine that I was not happy seeing the person I care or so much having to lose sleep she very much needs. So that night I wake up at around 2:30am and my wife is getting dressed. She said she couldn't sleep and was just going to go into work. I asked her what? We got in a bit of a tiff. And I and said she needed to figure it out and left and got doughnuts for; the kids. Yes yes I know I should have said that and I shouldn't. Have left. Before she started there we had a problem with the morals of casinos. And their environment. She didn't want to work at one and I didn't want her working at one. When she starts just going in because she can't sleep that bothers me. And at any other time it would had bothered her. That is what started this hole thing. I love her and yes because I love her I am afraid to lose her and my kids. And in my opinion there is nothing wrong with that and I should be..
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Well my wife went into work on her day off again. She has a test she says she has to take. She said it's going to take three hours. With interruptions. She is a cage supervisor so I could see the interruption thing. But why is there so many things she forgets about then has to go into work to do. I don't think she is cheating I just don't understand.
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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Well you may be right. I see a list of text to a unknown number. Pleas help me save this! I'm going to get a print out in the moning of her phone calls and text.
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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Well It's a head of another department. I know the name. I am sure hat is job related. So her call history is clear. The only other thing it may be is Facebook. She did pull marital status. I love her so much I just want to work this out any way!
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Why would you assume it's only job related? Why would a boss from another department have to text her on her personal phone? She doesn't work for him, what would they talk about?
 

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Well It's a head of another department. I know the name. I am sure hat is job related. So her call history is clear. The only other thing it may be is Facebook. She did pull marital status. I love her so much I just want to work this out any way!
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That's your guy. Tail your wife next time she heads for an uncalled work and you'll catch them in the act. Just keep your cool and dont get caught trying to follow her.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
You were right. She is deleting all messages from her phone from this guy. And they sent one last night. I have a print out of her text to and from numbers. Do I call her out on it? Can I kill her job by turning in the affair? Because I'm a stay at home dad if she leaves me and I don't have a job then she would have to pay for my living. Should I use that against her?
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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Or should I keep the info to myself about the numbers? That way I can track her moves? Is there a way to see/read the text without the phone?
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