Talk About Marriage banner

Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 20 of 23 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
11 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I been Marriage for 15 year and we have four kids.My wife had an affair and told me that she went to this guy house,but nothing happen.We made love before she confession it to me.Now our Marriage is it trouble,My wife tells me she love me and the kids.Sometime i don't believe her,she said she don't know why she did it,but every cause has a reason.She spend most of her time at her mom house.I have to bagged for sex some time.She states that she tried sometime.Which I find it hard to believe.I believe she want's to end our marriage because she try to argue about every little thing I do or say.

please help me out.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
Thank for the reply.

Well we had an fallout today,she think am cheating because I went to work today.She told me she wish something would of happen with the other guy.It really hurt me inside.If only I could know what she is thinking something.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
933 Posts
Thank for the reply.

Well we had an fallout today,she think am cheating because I went to work today.She told me she wish something would of happen with the other guy.It really hurt me inside.If only I could know what she is thinking something.
Try not to get to angry over that statement.It is typical for people
that cheats/cheating.

Can you tell more of your story?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11 Posts
Discussion Starter #6 (Edited)
Well today is my day off work,but am missing hour so I decided to go to work to make it up.I ask her to drive me to work and that's when the problem occur.I didn't know it would be a problem between us.She think I love my job more than her,but I don't.It's hard to talk her about our problem.I don't know if she still love me,because her give me dirty look at times. Sometime we go for days with out talking to one other.

How can I show her I love her?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11 Posts
Discussion Starter #7 (Edited)
I don't know,it happen two years ago.when she told me she was crying.This guy was marriage and I ask her who was this guy she wont tell me.Why want she tell me his name.I ask my self is she still seeing him or not.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,945 Posts
Hi dford,I'm not understanding how your wife confessed to an affair,but then told you nothing happened.Is it that she was involved emotionally,but not physically? Who is this man and when did it happen? Are you completely separated now? Does your wife work? Were you suspicious of her for some reason? What led up to her telling you this? The more information you provide the clearer the situation becomes to the posters who would like to help.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
933 Posts
I don't know,it happen two years ago.when she told me she was crying.This guy was marriage and I ask her who was this guy she wont tell me.Why want she tell me his name.I ask my self is she still seeing him or not.
Im sorry ,but now im a little bit confused.

She wont tell because there hasent been any consequences for it yet.if she is still seeing him? Perhaps,hard to tell. When did you exactly find out about this?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11 Posts
Discussion Starter #10 (Edited)
ok we are still together,but unhappy at the moment.She dose not work at moment,but when she was cheating she was working at that time.She meet him at work she told me she call him and he came and pick her up and took her to his house.Nothing happen because his wife came home an ask what are you doing in my house.I sometime get the feeling she was cheating on me,I ask her about it and she get's very upset.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
933 Posts
she told me the next morning after we had sex and she was crying.
Its difficult to make sense of your story.You keep giving very little info.So suggest that you take some time and write it down from the start up till to day. Use word,and then just copy and paste it in


You will get far better answer and advice that way
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11 Posts
Discussion Starter #13 (Edited)
Im sorry ,but now im a little bit confused.

She wont tell because there hasent been any consequences for it yet.if she is still seeing him? Perhaps,hard to tell. When did you exactly find out about this?

What do you mean?Can you explain it to me.
I just ask her now after two years and she told me his name.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11 Posts
Discussion Starter #14
Its difficult to make sense of your story.You keep giving very little info.So suggest that you take some time and write it down from the start up till to day. Use word,and then just copy and paste it in


You will get far better answer and advice that way
Ok,am stress out with work & my family
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
933 Posts
What do you mean?Can you explain it to me.
I just ask her now after two and she told me his name.
Well what i meant was.You two never seem to have resolved anything.You two sweept rugged it.You never gave her the impression that she could have lost you then..

In other words ,nothing changed for your wife.Hence she never feelt the need to tell you anything. And that is probobly whay you are here today...It has understandaby botherd you all this time.


So again would you mind to give some more info about this situation?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11 Posts
Discussion Starter #16
Well what i meant was.You two never seem to have resolved anything.You two sweept rugged it.You never gave her the impression that she could have lost you then..

In other words ,nothing changed for your wife.Hence she never feelt the need to tell you anything. And that is probobly whay you are here today...It has understandaby botherd you all this time.


So again would you mind to give some more info about this situation?
Ok let's begin we have four kids,one live at her mom house.Which I disagree.I tried talking to her and explaining that we are feeling apart.I tried to take her out but it seem it never fail that we scream at one another.We lost our touch.She use to work many hours at her job,I ask her why are your working so many hours,we need to spend more time together she replied my boss need me to run the store.So I stop asking.I would go by her work and help her out if she need it.She would come home very tried and go to sleep with the kids and leave me lonely.I ask are you seeing someone else she reply no.As time went by she get distance as I suspected some one get her attention for a while.So the next night when she came home we made love until the next morning.But before i went to school she stood en front of me she was crying an I ask what's wrong she said she almost had an affair with an marriage guy,I was angry,vey angry.I ask why she say she don't know,i said did you do it for sex she say maybe.I ask why and she reply because you always accusing me of cheating and she don't believe that I love her.I started crying for awhile.So every time we get into argument she said I wish I had affair with him.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
63 Posts
Your relationship is unhealthy and as long as you act needy she is going to keep losing respect for you, women tend to lose attraction to men that beg them. She doesn't seem very nice (at least not the way a nice wife should be.) Is divorce an option? Even if you don't want to end it you have to let her know that you will not put up with certain things.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11 Posts
Discussion Starter #18
Thanks for the tip,

I love her very much and my kids,I ask my self will she do it again,I ask her will this happen again and she get's very upset when I ask her.She said why can't you trust me and I can't answer the question.She tell me that she cares and love me,but at times is it's hard to believe.

How can I regain the sparks in our relationship?

How can I let her know i love her?

How can I regain the trust?

please help me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
956 Posts
Ok, first off, doubt everything that comes out of your wife's mouth from here on.

She said she just "went over" and did nothing, I doubt that.

Now, realize that cheaters think alike.

Cheaters sometimes think you are cheating and accuse you of cheating. It helps them justify their actions for them cheating.

Cheaters are prone to trickle truth. It means that they only give you a little bit of the truth, not the whole truth, and it comes out little by little.

Cheaters make excuses, give ridiculous answers to why they are unhappy, they lie, they blame shift putting blame on their spouse and marriage problems, they lie, they rush to reconcile to not suffer consequences and usually end up cheating again, cheaters are addicted to the adrenaline, dopamine rush of being with OM/OW, they lie, did I say they lie?

Yes they lie!

Cheating consists of, being emotionally open to another woman/man (saying i love you, expressing complaints about husband/wife to other woman or other man), visiting the house of another man/woman for any type of encounter for whatever reason, kissing another man/woman, oral sex with OM/OW, full on sex with OM/OW, naked pictures of OW/OM, sexting with OM/OW etc
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
6,984 Posts
She is lying. She had sex with him. She confessed right after having sex, right ? You must have reminded her of him.

Tell her you are going to find out the truth and kick her out if she is indeed lying
 
1 - 20 of 23 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top