Please excuse me in advance for any confusion this lengthy read may induce. I'm just throwing it all out there...:
My wife and I celebrated the birth of our first child a month and a half ago. Times have been tough for us. She takes care of the baby during the day and also takes online college courses. Until last month I had been unemployed for the better part of 5 months. A month after our son was born we had to cut our losses and move into my parent's house(I'm 25 and she's 21, so it's not uncommon for things like this to happen to kids our age). That's where we stand now.
When I started this job I made my wife fully aware that I would be working ALOT in order for us to make ends meet and eventually get back out on our own. I explained everything about the job and it's perks(good money) and not-so-great aspects(LOTS of hours; 7 12's during turnarounds and nights at times) to her. And she said that she'd be fine with all of it.
Since the birth of our kid all she's been doing is parenting during the day and sitting around at night(The Dr. cleared her for activity a couple of weeks ago). So this period of stagnant life really took a toll on her. I take her out every now and then to try and ease the monotony, but to no avail.
Lately, I've been working said 7-12's and have been unable to really spend as much time as I want to with my family. She gets to thinking a lot during the day about herself and us. She sends me these texts asking a bunch of questions of me like, "Do you still love me?", "How much?", and the like... She also sends things like, "I feel worthless.", "I hate myself, all I want to do is starve and workout until I'm super skinny." I respond with the honest to goodness truth. I tell her how much I do love her. I tell her how that without her, this family is nothing. She's the glue that holds it together. She couldn't be anything further from worthless. I tell her that I don't care what she looks like so long as she's happy... But I want her to get to where she wants to be physically responsibly. She also can't trust me for **** anymore. She always says she feels like I'm gonna cheat(I'd never do that in a million years, I love this woman with everything I have), want to leave her, and just be happier elsewhere(I'm not gonna lie, things are tough for the both of us. I get frustrated at times but I never lose my **** and go nuts). I feel like I've told her all the things in good faith that I can tell her. Her attitude is taking a real toll on me. I feel like I can't make her happy. IT SUCKS.
All I'm looking for is some perspective. Either from a lady who has been through something similar or a guy who has found a way to remedy a similar situation. I feel like as soon as she starts getting out and doing things for herself again she'll level out(I tell her to get out, go workout, have some her time when I get home, but she rarely does). But I'm no psychologist and have no experience whatsoever with any of this. Thanks in advance for any help.
My wife and I celebrated the birth of our first child a month and a half ago. Times have been tough for us. She takes care of the baby during the day and also takes online college courses. Until last month I had been unemployed for the better part of 5 months. A month after our son was born we had to cut our losses and move into my parent's house(I'm 25 and she's 21, so it's not uncommon for things like this to happen to kids our age). That's where we stand now.
When I started this job I made my wife fully aware that I would be working ALOT in order for us to make ends meet and eventually get back out on our own. I explained everything about the job and it's perks(good money) and not-so-great aspects(LOTS of hours; 7 12's during turnarounds and nights at times) to her. And she said that she'd be fine with all of it.
Since the birth of our kid all she's been doing is parenting during the day and sitting around at night(The Dr. cleared her for activity a couple of weeks ago). So this period of stagnant life really took a toll on her. I take her out every now and then to try and ease the monotony, but to no avail.
Lately, I've been working said 7-12's and have been unable to really spend as much time as I want to with my family. She gets to thinking a lot during the day about herself and us. She sends me these texts asking a bunch of questions of me like, "Do you still love me?", "How much?", and the like... She also sends things like, "I feel worthless.", "I hate myself, all I want to do is starve and workout until I'm super skinny." I respond with the honest to goodness truth. I tell her how much I do love her. I tell her how that without her, this family is nothing. She's the glue that holds it together. She couldn't be anything further from worthless. I tell her that I don't care what she looks like so long as she's happy... But I want her to get to where she wants to be physically responsibly. She also can't trust me for **** anymore. She always says she feels like I'm gonna cheat(I'd never do that in a million years, I love this woman with everything I have), want to leave her, and just be happier elsewhere(I'm not gonna lie, things are tough for the both of us. I get frustrated at times but I never lose my **** and go nuts). I feel like I've told her all the things in good faith that I can tell her. Her attitude is taking a real toll on me. I feel like I can't make her happy. IT SUCKS.
All I'm looking for is some perspective. Either from a lady who has been through something similar or a guy who has found a way to remedy a similar situation. I feel like as soon as she starts getting out and doing things for herself again she'll level out(I tell her to get out, go workout, have some her time when I get home, but she rarely does). But I'm no psychologist and have no experience whatsoever with any of this. Thanks in advance for any help.