Have you got an attorney? Have either of your started the divorce process?
After doing a bit of investigating, keeping my eyes open and my mouth shut, I don't believe she has been involved with anyone else during this. She hasn't mentioned anything about moving out for awhile now, and claimed the “end goal” is for things to work out and us remain together, but she remains cold and distant more often than not.
I looked back over your posts and noticed the above. Sigh. She is clearly and obviously involved with someone else. You may not have found any actual evidence, but there is a list of things she's doing that make it clear that there is another man.
Here are some of the signs:
- Change in sex life.
- Negative attitude changes. You notice that your spouse becomes adversarial. She blame shifts and is irritable. Worse attitude. Treating you like an object. She no longer shows appreciation for your contribution.
- Defensiveness. If your spouse was already defensive, she is now even more defensive.
- Guarding her phone
- Taking phone calls or texting outside of normal living areas. For example, going out on the porch or to the bathroom to use the phone. Being secretive about phone.
- She isn’t relating to you the way she did before. The connection you had seems to be waning or gone.
- Unexplained absences. She doesn’t come home on time or is out late at night. She says she’s with her friends or had to work late, but there is no change in her paycheck.
- Suddenly seems disinterested in you for no reason.
- Stops doing things she did before that showed she cared. This could be anything from not doing dishes with you to not filling up your water bottle when she fills hers up if she would normally do that.
- Not doing chores that she normally is responsible for. For example, not cooking for you or the family if she normally does that. Basically she stops caring about her home and home life, detaches, and neglects her responsibilities and duties.
And the #1 issue that you have seen, drum roll....
According to Laura Charanza, the number one sign that someone is cheating is change in appearance. They become more concerned with their appearance and may dress better, start going to the gym, change their hair style, etc.
It’s important for you to recognize and acknowledge that your wife has been unfaithful. There is another man. It will help you move forward if you are able to make this step.