[marko polo]

Update: She called me out of the blue while I’m at work, around 7:30. This is odd considering she really hasn't called or texted me since this started unless the topic(s) revolve around the kids and/or money. We end up being on the phone for an hour. A lot of awkward silence, being moody on her part mixed in with an occasional odd joke, etc. At one point she tells me, “I’m just going to be completely honest with you.” I expect to hear the worst, but she goes on to claim she’s been “very depressed”.

Her motivation for calling you is irrelevant. She is the only one that benefits.

You expected to hear the worst. You will never get the truth from a person like your wife directly.

When she needs comfort she will seek you out. When she needs excitement she will seek out another man and treat you like garbage. She will continue to use you and abuse you for as long as you allow it.

 

[BRL]

Update: She called me out of the blue while I’m at work, around 7:30. This is odd considering she really hasn't called or texted me since this started unless the topic(s) revolve around the kids and/or money. We end up being on the phone for an hour. A lot of awkward silence, being moody on her part mixed in with an occasional odd joke, etc. At one point she tells me, “I’m just going to be completely honest with you.” I expect to hear the worst, but she goes on to claim she’s been “very depressed”.

And what did you tell her?

I asked if there was anything I could do for her. I still care, so it naturally just...came out.

 

[Evinrude58]

Update: She called me out of the blue while I’m at work, around 7:30. This is odd considering she really hasn't called or texted me since this started unless the topic(s) revolve around the kids and/or money. We end up being on the phone for an hour. A lot of awkward silence, being moody on her part mixed in with an occasional odd joke, etc. At one point she tells me, “I’m just going to be completely honest with you.” I expect to hear the worst, but she goes on to claim she’s been “very depressed”.


I asked if there was anything I could do for her. I still care, so it naturally just...came out.

So you realize you just gave her the ego kibble she craved, let her know immediately that you’re still on her hook, and it will likely be quite a while before she needs another ego boost and call you again. You’re trying to help a woman that has utterly betrayed you.
Don’t.

 

[marko polo]

Update: She called me out of the blue while I’m at work, around 7:30. This is odd considering she really hasn't called or texted me since this started unless the topic(s) revolve around the kids and/or money. We end up being on the phone for an hour. A lot of awkward silence, being moody on her part mixed in with an occasional odd joke, etc. At one point she tells me, “I’m just going to be completely honest with you.” I expect to hear the worst, but she goes on to claim she’s been “very depressed”.


I asked if there was anything I could do for her. I still care, so it naturally just...came out.

She hasn't had the need to call you or text you. She has been busy with her playmate and she is confident you are not going anywhere. So far you are doing an excellent job of proving her right.

You still care for her. The woman you care for has never existed. She is a construct, a persona crafted to lure you into a commitment when you first met. You are a possession, an appliance to be used, set aside and changed out. She will never appreciate anything you do. She has never cared for you as a person. She had only cared about what you could provide to her.

 

[SunCMars]

Update: She called me out of the blue while I’m at work, around 7:30.
“I’m just going to be completely honest with you.” I expect to hear the worst, but she goes on to claim she’s been “very depressed”.

Depressed.
I believe that.

That is the painted (dark blue) side of the barn, the other side, she is hiding.

All all those unfinished boards on the back side, loose and flapping in the wind.
They tell the sordid story.
If you were to peek in you would see her with some lover of sorts.

She is desperate for an exit affair.
Sadly, the barn doors are off their hinges, she cannot easily break out.

She wants to escape her life, maybe find new romance.
She has found it, but she cannot get a good grip on it.

It's hard to do, when you cannot get a strong grip on your own life.
She is flailing about, her anxiety has her in disarray.

At work, she is showing all sorts of paranoid behavior.
People are talking about her, she thinks.
She has been up to no good, and she believes the others, now know.

 

[BRL]

I’ve had days where I’ve handled things relatively well, but I’ve hit rock bottom over the past few. I've never felt so horrible.

 

[Keepin-my-head-up]

I’ve had days where I’ve handled things relatively well, but I’ve hit rock bottom over the past few. I've never felt so horrible.

I know the feeling.
Try and be a little stronger each day.
Do what it takes to spend one less moment doing mental gymnastics.

There’s gonna be good days and bad ones.
At this point it probably feels like good minutes and bad ones.

Only cure for it is to go thru it and then heal.
What you can do to make sure you heal is to stop allowing someone else to wound you again

 

[oldshirt]

I’ve had days where I’ve handled things relatively well, but I’ve hit rock bottom over the past few. I've never felt so horrible.

yeah it’s no fun being someone’s emotional tampon when you get nothing in return.

But don’t worry, this won’t last forever. she will yank you out of her life by by your string and toss you in the trash and walk away at any time.

 

[blackclover3]

I’ve had days where I’ve handled things relatively well, but I’ve hit rock bottom over the past few. I've never felt so horrible.

you have had bits of advice here from everyone - what is your next step?
1- you can't fix her and it is not you
2- she will continue having affairs now and future and it is always going to be your fault. are you waiting for her to get pregnant or get an STD? or are you waiting until you get old and your market is much much lower
3- being free from her means you can focus on your kids and have fun with them as a family without her toxic self being around.
4- let her fall Rock bottom and you sling yourself to the top once you are clear from her

 

[BRL]

After doing a bit of investigating, keeping my eyes open and my mouth shut, I don't believe she has been involved with anyone else during this. She hasn't mentioned anything about moving out for awhile now, and claimed the “end goal” is for things to work out and us remain together, but she remains cold and distant more often than not.

 

[Rob_1]

After doing a bit of investigating, keeping my eyes open and my mouth shut, I don't believe she has been involved with anyone else during this. She hasn't mentioned anything about moving out for awhile now, and claimed the “end goal” is for things to work out and us remain together, but she remains cold and distant more often than not.

C'mon dude, why you even bother? you know you will do nothing but to live with your breath on hold waiting for her to finally chose you. Who knows what her actual real plans are concerning you, but most likely she's putting her ducks in a row until she's ready and sure to dump you.

Actually, you look like the truck stuck on the tracks, the train barreling on you, and you paralyzed in terror unable to open the door and jump out of the way.

 

[marko polo]

After doing a bit of investigating, keeping my eyes open and my mouth shut, I don't believe she has been involved with anyone else during this. She hasn't mentioned anything about moving out for awhile now, and claimed the “end goal” is for things to work out and us remain together, but she remains cold and distant more often than not.

What you believe is separate from the reality of your situation. You remain in the dark.

She is stalling. If you are content to let her offer you false hope and waste your time that is certainly your choice. Nothing will change for the better. You remain an option, not a priority to her.

 

[ArthurGPym]

You are an ATM to her nothing more.

 

[BRL]

Went to my first therapy session yesterday. Not much to report though considering it was an introductory thing, but I feel confident that it will be a help going forward.

 

[BigDaddyNY]

Went to my first therapy session yesterday. Not much to report though considering it was an introductory thing, but I feel confident that it will be a help going forward.

When is your wife seeing a counselor? Reading back through your posts she sounds like a bipolar basket case.

 

[BRL]

When is your wife seeing a counselor? Reading back through your posts she sounds like a bipolar basket case.

I’ve been keeping my distance from her. I would say absolutely not though.

 

[BRL]

I’m not at all proud to admit that we got into the most hellacious fight last night, which went on for hours. She had been drinking by the time I got home from work, snapped at me over asking a simple question, and things went to complete and utter **** from there. The more she drank, the more ******** lies came out of her mouth and I got weak and finally snapped back. It got ugly.

She’s already made moves to move out.

 

[Livvie]

I’m not at all proud to admit that we got into the most hellacious fight last night, which went on for hours. She had been drinking by the time I got home from work, snapped at me over asking a simple question, and things went to complete and utter ** from there. The more she drank, the more ** lies came out of her mouth and I got weak and finally snapped back. It got ugly.

She’s already made moves to move out.

This is for the best.

Why people stay married to people they have an awful toxic hateful relationship with is beyond me.

 

[BRL]

This is for the best.

Why people stay married to people they have an awful toxic hateful relationship with is beyond me.

It very likely is.

It's not always so easy to just walk when you have time and feelings invested in someone. Add to that, 3 kids.

 

[Evinrude58]

Divorce is extremely painful sir. But it is sometimes the best thing to do. In your case, it’s the obvious thing to do.

ditch the witch.