On Halloween night, my wife came home from work and told me that she believes we should separate (in-house). Her reasons being that we get along for little more than a week at a time and that when we do get along it feels “forced”, things feel awkward between us while we’re out in public together, that she loses more feelings for me with each fight and that this would be a last-ditch effort to potentially save our marriage. I was crushed yet remained calm, validated her feelings, and let her know I supported her decision. We hugged, kissed and both said “I love you.”
The following day, it was as if a switch had been flipped. If she needed to speak to me about the kids or funds, she would go about it in an angry, combative way, turning cold and closed off outside of those times. Along with that, I quickly noticed her phone habits had changed. It was now glued to her and she began practically sleeping on top of it. Admittedly, the one night about a week in that I could see it out in the open, partially covered by her leg, I attempted to log into it only to find she had changed the passcode when she had always wanted us to have all of the other's codes and passwords. When asked about it, she became angry, claimed she hadn't been any different with her phone, but didn't want me invading her privacy.
To make a long story short, things have only become worse with each passing week, especially with us working for the same company (different departments). She accused me of telling our business to coworkers, smearing her name and trying to make her look bad when come to find out, it's her who’s been doing those things. She tells me she’ll always have love for me but isn't in love with me, doesn't “give a ****” about me or what im doing, at all, is done and actively looking for an apartment of her own. She says this is no longer a separation. We’re divorcing. She's suddenly more interested in improving her appearance than ever now, getting new clothes, new shoes, a $99 per month tanning membership and is planning to join a gym. Most troubling of all, I found a receipt from Victorias Secret showing she had spent nearly $400 on lingerie. When I tried approaching her about it, as carefully as possible, she told me not to even ask. Nothing is “any of my business” anymore. It's for her and her only, and that she's had stuff like this for year's and never wore any of it, so why would I worry, she asked. After being pressed a little more, she decided to throw everything back in the bag and return them.
I feel completely hopeless, lost and have found nothing in the way of coping mechanisms that work for me. I’m barely eating, sleeping and dwell on my situation every waking minute.
The following day, it was as if a switch had been flipped. If she needed to speak to me about the kids or funds, she would go about it in an angry, combative way, turning cold and closed off outside of those times. Along with that, I quickly noticed her phone habits had changed. It was now glued to her and she began practically sleeping on top of it. Admittedly, the one night about a week in that I could see it out in the open, partially covered by her leg, I attempted to log into it only to find she had changed the passcode when she had always wanted us to have all of the other's codes and passwords. When asked about it, she became angry, claimed she hadn't been any different with her phone, but didn't want me invading her privacy.
To make a long story short, things have only become worse with each passing week, especially with us working for the same company (different departments). She accused me of telling our business to coworkers, smearing her name and trying to make her look bad when come to find out, it's her who’s been doing those things. She tells me she’ll always have love for me but isn't in love with me, doesn't “give a ****” about me or what im doing, at all, is done and actively looking for an apartment of her own. She says this is no longer a separation. We’re divorcing. She's suddenly more interested in improving her appearance than ever now, getting new clothes, new shoes, a $99 per month tanning membership and is planning to join a gym. Most troubling of all, I found a receipt from Victorias Secret showing she had spent nearly $400 on lingerie. When I tried approaching her about it, as carefully as possible, she told me not to even ask. Nothing is “any of my business” anymore. It's for her and her only, and that she's had stuff like this for year's and never wore any of it, so why would I worry, she asked. After being pressed a little more, she decided to throw everything back in the bag and return them.
I feel completely hopeless, lost and have found nothing in the way of coping mechanisms that work for me. I’m barely eating, sleeping and dwell on my situation every waking minute.
