[Chaparral]

Catching a hundred trolls isn’t worth trashing one legitimate poster. We have been trolled before. Even then many, many folks that never post were helped by the advice given.

 

[Spicy]

Belly scratch...just wanted to say, you are a superhero.
Great job!!!!

 

[Stormguy2018]

Hang in there buddy. You are going to be so much better off without her. It's going to be a rough road for awhile, but when it's over it's like a re-birth. Look at the end game.

 

[StillSearching]

Great job on the exposure. So sorry you have had to go through this. Do not stop posting just because of a couple of idiots. I recently went through something similiar and had some very negative responses. Overall 90% of the people here are genuine and offer great advice.

I hope all goes well for you and we hear from you again.

Same happened to me when I first got here.

 

[Spicy]

Oh yeah, ignore anybody you choose on here, don’t shoot yourself in the foot because of a few people deciding to be unhelpful. TAM is a wonderful resource and can continue to provide you lots of guidance if you choose to keep participating.

 

[Robert22205]

Sorry I missed you serving her. I was in the wind for over a week and couldn't get access on my cell.

You are not the first victim of infidelity (nor the last). Please continue to update with questions and/or lessons learned (or just to share your feelings).
You are not alone.

 

[Bellyscratch]

Strange update:

So the divorce is on going, and she left the house and is living with a friend who happens to be "just a friend". We have been basically no contact (only contact is for financial issues, ie. bills, ect"). Starting Saturday night I get a phone call from her stating that she made a huge mistake and wants to work on "us" and save our marriage. Well, I have to say, if she asked for a million dollars, I would have been less surprised than her stating she wants to get back together.

I asked her why now and her only comment is that she missed "us" and she made stupid mistakes. I asked her where was her "friend" and she just diverted the question. So I came back here to ask "what the He** is going on. I don't want to get back together but she has a way of hitting the right buttons with me. It's confusing especially since she will not say why she really is acting this way.

Any ideas or suggestions on how to handle this truely unexpected twist.

 

[jlg07]

Sounds like now that she is available, the POSOM has dumped her, so she wants back with Plan B (you).
"I asked her where was her "friend" and she just change the question."
What does that tell you? "just forget all that happened and let's go back to the way we were".... RUG SWEEP for 1000 Alex.

She may push your buttons, but just remember your first post. She is a serial cheater and has never learned NOT to do that to you -- do you want to put yourself through that again?

 

[OnTheFly]

Thx for update.

Hard 180.

It wasn't unexpected, in fact, it was predicted.

 

[shortbus]

Bellyscratch, glad to see you back here.

Not unexpected at all.

Continue on your path.

Just for your own good, I wouldn't ask her any more questions. I definitely understand that you want 'answers', but you aren't going to get any. At least any that are the truth.

Yes, she knows your 'buttons'. She's willing to use them for her own gain.

This is all manipulation, act accordingly.

 

[aine]

Strange update:

So the divorce is on going, and she left the house and is living with a friend who happens to be "just a friend". We have been basically no contact (only contact is for financial issues, ie. bills, ect"). Starting Saturday night I get a phone call from her stating that she made a huge mistake and wants to work on "us" and save our marriage. Well, I have to say, if she asked for a million dollars, I would have been less surprised than her stating she wants to get back together.

I asked her why now and her only comment is that she missed "us" and she made stupid mistakes. I asked her where was her "friend" and she just diverted the question. So I came back here to ask "what the He** is going on. I don't want to get back together but she has a way of hitting the right buttons with me. It's confusing especially since she will not say why she really is acting this way.

Any ideas or suggestions on how to handle this truely unexpected twist.

You are simply her back up plan, do not fall for it. She now realises that far away fields are not so green afterall. Do not be foolish. Tell her the divorce is going ahead. Repairing the damage will be very difficult and there is no guarantee she wont do the same to you again. Run!

 

[3Xnocharm]

No contact!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Rubix Cubed]

She doesn't want to get back together with you for "us", she wants to get back together with you for her. Your well being doesn't even play into the equation. You're the safety net, plan B for when she doesn't have a plan A to play with. Now you, me, and everyone here knows you're WAY more than that, so why would you forget all the damage she has done to you and let her "push your buttons"? **** that noise. Carry on as before and ignore the twaddle, because that's all it is.

 

[Marc878]

Strange update:

So the divorce is on going, and she left the house and is living with a friend who happens to be "just a friend". We have been basically no contact (only contact is for financial issues, ie. bills, ect"). Starting Saturday night I get a phone call from her stating that she made a huge mistake and wants to work on "us" and save our marriage. Well, I have to say, if she asked for a million dollars, I would have been less surprised than her stating she wants to get back together.

Nope, it was a carefully thought out decision planned and executed. It didn't just happen and wasn't a mistake.

I asked her why now and her only comment is that she missed "us" and she made stupid mistakes. I asked her where was her "friend" and she just diverted the question.

She hasn't broken it off with her other man yet until plan B is solidified. She won't drop him just yet. Better wake up to who she really is and what you're dealing with. No actions on her part just words. Coming from a cheater which are meaningless.

So I came back here to ask "what the He** is going on. I don't want to get back together but she has a way of hitting the right buttons with me. It's confusing especially since she will not say why she really is acting this way.

Any ideas or suggestions on how to handle this truely unexpected twist.

Stop answering her calls and learn to ignore. Text or emails D or business only.

You'll only get played or manipulated if you allow it.

 

[Marc878]

She told you at the confrontation and showed you what you needed to know.

Unless you like pain and drama stick to your plan.

Doormats get walked on regularly

 

[TDSC60]

She had you at home to take care of the house and the cars. To provide financial support and help with her education. Probably had you take care of all the bills.

While she had a standing date with her lover. Was free to meet him when she wanted. Was allowed to spend her time with co-ed sports teams, girlfriends and party anytime she felt like it. Basically she was free to act like a single party girls with little or no responsibilities. She misses that. She might act like a contrite, remorseful wife for awhile, but that is all it is......an act. She is a serial cheater. I have never heard of a serial cheater who was able to change permanently. Yeah some keep up the act even for a couple of years, but eventually they all return to their base character....cheater.

Why would she not want to go back to that?

BTW, she did not make any "mistakes" she made a series of choices. She chose to cheat. She chose to lie. She chose to keep you in the dark while having her fun on the side.

Do not try to understand why she is cheating or why she is making attempts to get back to her party life while you support her. And what "us" is she missing. The "us" she had not respect for? The "us" she complained about constantly? The "us" she avoided all the time with sports teams and drunken nights? The "us" she felt that she justified having a secret lover?

You can't understand crazy? Don't let her fool you again.

 

[BigbadBootyDaddy]

Ayup. A woman splits and goes silent for months and then mysteriously wants to reunite? Her primary choice of orgasm donor found a better charity.

 

[Bellyscratch]

Yes...you are absolutly right. I was content in my marriage ending and coming to some terms with moving on, but this was like a sucker punch in the gut. I just don't know why now.

 

[Bellyscratch]

She had you at home to take care of the house and the cars. To provide financial support and help with her education. Probably had you take care of all the bills.

While she had a standing date with her lover. Was free to meet him when she wanted. Was allowed to spend her time with co-ed sports teams, girlfriends and party anytime she felt like it. Basically she was free to act like a single party girls with little or no responsibilities. She misses that. She might act like a contrite, remorseful wife for awhile, but that is all it is......an act. She is a serial cheater. I have never heard of a serial cheater who was able to change permanently. Yeah some keep up the act even for a couple of years, but eventually they all return to their base character....cheater.

Why would she not want to go back to that?

BTW, she did not make any "mistakes" she made a series of choices. She chose to cheat. She chose to lie. She chose to keep you in the dark while having her fun on the side.

Do not try to understand why she is cheating or why she is making attempts to get back to her party life while you support her. And what "us" is she missing. The "us" she had not respect for? The "us" she complained about constantly? The "us" she avoided all the time with sports teams and drunken nights? The "us" she felt that she justified having a secret lover?

You can't understand crazy? Don't let her fool you again.

I agree, but why come back to me and not another meat puppet.

 

[shortbus]

Your history of takin' care of her ****.