[marriedandlonely]

How was your relationship before your son came "HOME"?????????

 

[PhillyGuy13]

We're not going to know anything until OP comes back and clarifies the situation.

50/50 he comes back. I give it a 10% chance.
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[Dogbert]

41 and getting an allowance. Wow. I guess I'm both astonished and jealous.

Don't nurses (ideally) have to be both down-to-earth and compassionate with others. Wonder how her career will pan out.

Yeah, don't pick a new spouse over your son.

Like others, I would like to hear a bit more about him.

No kidding. If the OP is honest in his assessment of his new wife, then he certainly picked another "winner".

Am I the only one that can't help but think about the timing of the dumping of the boy by his mother? It almost coincides with the OP's marriage to his new wife. It seems that the XW had no problem with the kid's smart mouth that is until her XH remarried.

In any case, the OP needs to contact an attorney and request to have the court grant him physical custody of his son and to request any child support payments paid to his XW, during the months that he has been the primary caregiver of his son, to be repaid back to him. If his XW wants to wash her hands of her son, then she should be nailed to pay child support payments until the boy turns 18.

The fact that your wife gives no real reason other than "he's annoying" is pretty clear evidence that she is looking to pick a fight. She wants out, and he is her scapegoat.

You need to focus on your son and on why YOU are drawn to women who are utterly selfish. Find a therapist to help you work on this. I don't know what behaviors or personality traits such women share in the "getting to know you" stage (abusers come on VERY hard, sweeping their next victim off her feet and so she has NO idea he is rushing her b/c he cannot maintain his good behavior for long, for example--so the rushing into love thing is a red flag for women who know this), but a good therapist will help you figure it out and let you know what to look for so you don't make the same mistake a 3rd time.

Good luck.

You nailed it.

 

[gouge_away]

Just take your child out of her house!

If she wants to file for D, don't bother contesting it.

She's a nurse, she will be OK.

Meanwhile, you can take some parenting classes, learn how to lead your son. In five years, who knows what this boy will be, but if you don't get him out of that house, she will make him into a monster if he already isn't one now.

 

[happy as a clam]

We're not going to know anything until OP comes back and clarifies the situation.

50/50 he comes back. I give it a 10% chance.

:iagree:
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[AliceA]

Can't say I'm overwhelmed by the love you two have for each other. Why did you get married?

While I don't agree with what she's doing, if your version of events and your son is accurate, I do have to wonder if she had much of a say in suddenly having a teenager living with her. She's not going to love him, or even like him necessarily, just because you impregnated his mother.
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[Satya]

I'm wondering...

How much time did you spend with your son per week while he lived with your ex-wife?

How much time do you spend with your son per week now (just you two doing things together)?

How much time do you spend with your wife (just you two doing things together) before and after your son moved in?

It's interesting that you gloss over the reasons your first wife does not want to deal with your son, yet your current wife is expected to step up. Your son is obviously part of your life, so your current wife should be accepting of this. However, keep in mind that her lifestyle is changing almost immediately by your son moving into the house. You cannot expect her to just be happy about this. It may take time for her to adjust or she may never adjust, this is just a possibility.

It would help to know the specific reasons why your ex-wife does no longer want to be the custodial parent.

Current wife may be spoiled, but if you truly feel that way, plus mention her emotional immaturity (and these things grate on you as they clearly do), it doesn't leave much good to say about her.

 

[ech99]

Hi OP...I also am 42, married a wonderful man with a 13 year old son. Have a 13 year old son of my own. I have to say my husbands son is annoying as Heck. My husband does not see it at all. Maybe you do not see what other people see. Blow it off as "being 13". Give your wife some space. Maybe she is spoiled, but I think she may have a point here. I don't think its jealously. I think maybe he is really annoying to her. Maybe he does not respect her when you are not around. There could be a lot of things you don't realize that are going on.

 

[sapientia]

ALWAYS choose your child over a new H/W. Always.

In your case, I would get an awesome apartment near my sons school (unless its not a great school in which case talk to him about moving), pack our bags and move us out.

Sell your house and do all else to wind down your short, bad mistake of a marriage.

Love your son. You will be ever so glad you did decades from now.

Best,
Sapi

 

[arbitrator]

Agree totally with placing the welfare of your son first!

Both his mother and your W seem to be the immature ones here! Much like me, you don't seem to have a lot of luck in picking out wives!

Regarding your W, given her circumstances, I would have divorced her yesterday! Just continue to let her live off of her parents allowance!

 

[Dogbert]

Nothing since May 3rd.

It would be nice if newbies could at least post that they are reading the comments.

 

[Froggi]

Can't say I'm overwhelmed by the love you two have for each other. Why did you get married?

While I don't agree with what she's doing, if your version of events and your son is accurate, I do have to wonder if she had much of a say in suddenly having a teenager living with her. She's not going to love him, or even like him necessarily, just because you impregnated his mother.
Posted via Mobile Device

Um....if you marry someone who has children, there is always a chance that the children will end up living with you full time. Serious illness, death, other tragic events. Ring a bell?

You don't get to have a choice when you marry a person with kids,.