[fireman]

I and my wife married 7 years.we were social couple who meets with male/female friends sometimes.this stuation happened 3 years ago.she complain to me about one of our male friend who wink eyes when talks to her.she thought ''he likes me,i am beautiful and attactive.but i dont need that because i am married and happy with my husband''.after that conversation i blame her that she liked him,he was attractive for her....etcshe never accepted.she said that she felt attractive but never liked anybody since we met and got married.
after that last 3 years i feel useless,not enough for her,i am not handsome for her anymore,i am not attractive for her anymore.because of it even i use antidepressant.i felt like she say lie to me and she liked him.i dont know how to sort out myself.wheneer she feel that i feel down she talks to me and said she loves me and she never made any small mistake and she was always faithful.
i really need your advice.
my question is is normal to feel attractive for married women even she is married?

 

[costa200]

Dude, if she TOLD you your "friend" was acting the wrong way around her, then its just time to get that friend away from you both. Contrary to many she told you about it. She didn't hide it from you while getting the rush of being pursued.

What do you think she did wrong? What could have she done better?

She felt attracted to him? You mean she actually thought another guy other than you was good looking? Are you under the illusion that you're the only handsome guy in the planet?

Women, and men, often meet attractive people of the opposite sex. That's not an issue as long as they don't dwell on it. A relationship is much more than raw physical attraction.

Are you going to tell me you have never found another woman attractive other than your wife?

 

[AsTheStoryGoes]

Totally agree with Costa. And it sounds like you have some insecurities you need to work on..not only for you but for your marriage. It will definitely benefit you both in the end. You should feel confident in yourself and your marriage..and feel proud other guys find your wife attractive, especially since she is OPEN with you about it and doesn't act on it!

 

[fireman]

thanks for your advice.actually its happened 3 years ago and since that time we are not meeting wtih him.our friendship finish.because i phoned him and told him that '' you are an a...hole.because you were trying to flirt with my wife''.he said''i never notice that i wink my eye when i talk to her.sorry.''.and over
be honest i lost my confidency.i feel not enough for her.

 

[TCSRedhead]

He winked at your wife. She did not respond but found it flattering because it gave her ego and self esteem a boost. She also shared what happened so there were no secrets between you.

What did she do that was wrong?

 

[Cosmos]

OP, it's normal for both genders to still find members of the opposite sex attractive, even when they're married. It only becomes a problem if they start acting on that attraction by flirting, ogling etc. It doesn't sound like your wife did this, so you have nothing to worry about.

 

[Snookums]

I think you may suffer from self-esteem issues and need to become more confident. I don't think your wife nor your friend did any wrong doing here and to carry this with you for the last 3 years has got to be destroying not you inside but your relationship.

 

[costa200]

Fireman, i think you can consider yourself lucky in that event. Your wife did better than many. If she thought he was a better man than you she would be with him. But she is not. She basically refused him. She is, apparently, a good wife to you. So, you are a lucky man! Be happy and confident. You have reasons to be!

 

[fireman]

thank you so much all.i am reading again and again.i believe i have self-esteem issue.but i dont know why i am lik that now.i was very confident before this problem.i feel horrible and worry that she won't love me anymore.and i have no idea why i feel that.any advice how to feel confident again?

 

[Hope1964]

Get yourself into some counseling.