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Discussion Starter #1
Hi, basically me and my wife have been having a crappy year, we have been to marriage counselling and both admitted we do love each other and want to work things out, I have made her feel numb over the last few months, now she will only let me have a peck and a cuddle on her terms, we share the same bed, but if I try anything more than peck she rolls over or shuts it down, now we used to have sex every other day or daily, now is the 9th where we haven’t, I’ve always struggled thinking she doesn’t find me sexually attractive now this is eating away at me terribly any advice?
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Have you checked? If not then you really don’t know.

it’s best to rule that out. Takes 10-15 minutes.
She uses social media more than texts and there is no way I can get into them, the only way is to get on her phone but I don’t know the passcode
 

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Hi, basically me and my wife have been having a crappy year, we have been to marriage counselling and both admitted we do love each other and want to work things out, I have made her feel numb over the last few months,

Somethings up. You don’t appear to know what’s going on.

now she will only let me have a peck and a cuddle on her terms, we share the same bed, but if I try anything more than peck she rolls over or shuts it down, now we used to have sex every other day or daily, now is the 9th where we haven’t, I’ve always struggled thinking she doesn’t find me sexually attractive now this is eating away at me terribly any advice?
You don’t have enough info other than there is a problem. Unless you elaborate some no one going to be able to help.

Do you know what’s driving her actions?
 

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Discussion Starter #14
No nothing out the ordinary what’s so ever, we’ve had a crap few months I was speaking to a coworker which she didn’t like and ended up lying about it in the end, but it was only friendship, she just says she feels nothing at the moment and feels numb that’s why she won’t be intimate
 

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No nothing out the ordinary what’s so ever, we’ve had a crap few months I was speaking to a coworker which she didn’t like and ended up lying about it in the end, but it was only friendship, she just says she feels nothing at the moment and feels numb that’s why she won’t be intimate
If there was nothing to it then you wouldn’t have needed to lie about it would you? That’s the mark of an emotional affair (secretive, lying to conceal).

“We’re just friends“ is perhaps the biggest lie told. Your wife is probably upset at your behavior and is acting appropriately.

Unless I’m missing something.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
If there was nothing to it then you wouldn’t have needed to lie about it would you? That’s the mark of an emotional affair (secretive, lying to conceal).

“We’re just friends“ is perhaps the biggest lie told. Your wife is probably upset at your behavior and is acting appropriately.
We have been to marriage counselling about and I have explained to her about it all and how it was just purely friendship as we have had a difficult 3/4 years, we have had sex since she’s said she feels numb which was 9 days ago but since she now refuses point blank
 

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she just says she feels nothing at the moment and feels numb that’s why she won’t be intimate
Well, she will need time to recover from that. You have hurt her and she is in recovery mode. It will take some time. Sounds to me she a person who needs to be emotionally connected and she doesn't feel she is connected to you right now. Be patient. Be nice to her and it will come back (hopefully)...
 

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We have been to marriage counselling about and I have explained to her about it all and how it was just purely friendship as we have had a difficult 3/4 years, we have had sex since she’s said she feels numb which was 9 days ago but since she now refuses point blank
Do you recognize the damage this caused? Why lie if it was just “friends”?

Once you break trust it’s hard to get it back. That a big part of any marriage.

What would you think if the shoe was on the other foot?
 

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Discussion Starter #19
Well, she will need time to recover from that. You have hurt her and she is in recovery mode. It will take some time. Sounds to me she a person who needs to be emotionally connected and she doesn't feel she is connected to you right now. Be patient. Be nice to her and it will come back (hopefully)...
She keeps telling me just to give her space and not to be to kiss and cuddly with her, she has said at counselling she has no plans to leave, maybe you are right and I just need to give her time as hard as it is, she still gets naked in front of me to fake tan which torments me
 

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If she asks for space you’d better back off. Chasing (which is what you’re doing) always pushes them farther away. Better wake up because you are the culprit here. Plus doing the needy/clingy is extremely unattractive.
 
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