Hello! I posted several weeks ago about me finding out and confronting my wife about an emotional affair she had/is having. This started when she was in her home town 8 hours drive away from our home taking care of her dying father. I had been there and back to be there for her emotional support 3 different times in a month on top of juggling my job and our two kids. I started the year off with 120 hours of paid vacation and used 96 of those hours in the month of january being there for her. when her father did pass I was not able to be there due to not having a whole lot of vacation time left and trying to keep the kids in school. there was one occasion when she wanted me to head out of town to be with her at the drop of a hat during a really bad snowstorm and for me to bring the kids. (not thinking about the safety of her family) She was mad that i did not comply with her wishes and i told her to wait a couple days until roads are safe. Long story short right after her dad passed she went to stay at a hospitality house that was owned by the hospital. during this time she was snowed in and reached out for someone to help her get out and get some dinner because she hadn't eaten all day due to the storm. This someone was an old guy friend she grew up with. Needless to say she says she has feeling for this guy. I noticed some behaviors when i went there for the memorial service and to drive back home together. When we got back home and i noticed she was distant and not because she just lost her father but there was something else going on. so i confronted her. she admitted that she was having an emotional affair. before i ramble to much longer let me tell you this. I have gone through many stages of hurtful betrayal she caused. i 1st begged and pleaded and asked how could she do this to our family. Then i went to the angry phase that she needs to stop communicating with this guy. Then the stage of trying to win her attraction back and do nice things for her and be more affectionate. Now i'm drained and after talking about things with her to no avail. She still talks to this guy daily while i am at work for hours on end several times all the while she should be taking care of our kids. She has expressed she is not attracted to me anymore and will not be happy regardless. she says she doesnt want to settle and that by me trying to be more engaged and a better husband is awkward and strange. She is planning to go back to her home town to take care of more of her fathers things and clean out his house/get some belongings and things of that nature. she fought be tooth and nail when i brought up that i wanted to go with her and help. She said she knows i want to go with her so i can keep an eye on her and i dont trust her. Can you blame me? but ultimately i do want to help. after all i am her partner in life. As i think about things and reflect on our marriage she has held me back from being who i really am and doing so many things. I have spent our whole marriage trying to live for her and lift her up but she has never done that for me. She is the kind of woman that is not happy with anything no matter what. she doesn't have any friends in our area, she doesn't want to make friends in our area and she has no hobbies outside of trying to decorate and make our house better. she always claims we have nothing in common but only because she is not interested in anything i like to do. how can i have anything in common with someone that doesn't have any interests or hobbies. I on the other hand have a ton of things i like to do. I have come to the realization that i am going to let her go back to her home town by herself so that she can take care of her dead fathers things and explore her inappropriate relationship with this ********* scum of the earth that only wants to get in her pants i'm sure. I'm done. She says she feels trapped and has no where to go if she wanted to leave our marriage. I told her she shouldn't be that way because it is toxic for me and our children to live with her if she is not happy. I told her she needs to get a job and apartment so she can be happy and not feel trapped. I'M NOT LEAVING! it is my house and the home for my children. I do not wish to leave our marriage in search of a fantasy. My name is the only one on the mortgage anyway. I apologize for the long topic and i think i just needed to vent. Any thoughts or questions for me?