My wife and I have been married for a little less than 14 and a half years. We have a son and a daughter, ages 14 and 13, respectively.
To make a long story short, our marriage had been dying a slow, steady death of a thousand cuts. In the end, we both made lots of small mistakes and we both made a few big ones... Nothing, really, that any other married couple has experienced. But you can't fix two-person problems by yourself.
At any rate... About seven months ago, it all came to a head, of sorts. My wife moved out of our bedroom and into the spare room in the basement. As you would expect of an in-house separation, nothing really changed over the intervening months. In the meantime, she made it clear that she wasn't interested in reconciliation, and that she believes that divorce is the only option.
She's said that she wants an amicable, no-fault divorce, since it would be easiest on the kids, and neither of us can afford a court battle. I agree, as far as that goes.
So, I've finally gotten to the point where I'm equally willing to reconcile, or to finish the split and move on. But I can no longer tolerate the status quo... Both of us need to be either all in or all out.
As my father used to say, "****, or get off the pot."
The trouble is, now that I'm starting to move forward with this, my wife, for all her professed eagerness to officially end our relationship in a fair and non-confrontational way, is dragging her feet.
Whenever I try to talk about the nitty-gritty of actually getting this done, she makes an excuse and stalls for time.
I'm ready to hire an attorney who can help me (us) work through an "amicable" no-fault divorce for a flat fee that I can afford, but I'm a little reluctant to begin that process until I'm certain she's actually going to work with me in good faith.
I don't want to push her into digging her heels in... That'll be bad for everyone involved, except maybe the lawyers. Does anyone have any advice for getting her to move on this without antagonizing her?