I would never would have thought i would be on a forum on this topic. I am a 35 year old male, married to a 40 year old wife, with two kids (2.5/7) and have been going through some very challenging times.
Although i look to myself and what i can do to be better, i need to get some advice with how to deal with my wife. As stated, she is 40, and in the last 2 years lost 130 pounds via weight loss surgery. With no support for her in how to deal with her new self, she is/has/trying to become this new person. Getting attention, and looking for it via social media and through social scenes. The last 8 months have been extremely difficult with her turning to wine (Excessive), constantly on the phone and texting friends, going out to parties, neglecting the kids, the house, me...
The last 4 weeks we decided to split, but just couldnt pull the trigger. This was sparked be her realizing that she is not in love with me anymore. The core of who i am has not changed, but my reaction to her actions has. I have become more direct, blunt and protecting to her which has lead to where she feels she is today.
She is a stay at home mom, raising the typical terrible two's little man. He is a challenge to say the least, nothing like our first kid. Instead of being who she was with our first child, she basically has become the opposite. No activities, play time, reading etc, instead, she hides from it by sitting outside on her phone, texting, listening to music, smoking/drinking...and it just destroys me to see her do this.
We are seeing a therapist, a good one i should add who was able to get us to give it one more chance. That was over a week ago, and i saw some baby steps in her trying. But...the last few days, she is back to her old self.
I understand miracles cant happen over night and patience will be key for me. I am an impatient man, so hoping to get some advice from anyone out there. Even looking for a woman who has gone through something like this herself and what she did to turn herself around. Also looking for any husbands out there that deal with something similiar and how they worked it out.
Although i look to myself and what i can do to be better, i need to get some advice with how to deal with my wife. As stated, she is 40, and in the last 2 years lost 130 pounds via weight loss surgery. With no support for her in how to deal with her new self, she is/has/trying to become this new person. Getting attention, and looking for it via social media and through social scenes. The last 8 months have been extremely difficult with her turning to wine (Excessive), constantly on the phone and texting friends, going out to parties, neglecting the kids, the house, me...
The last 4 weeks we decided to split, but just couldnt pull the trigger. This was sparked be her realizing that she is not in love with me anymore. The core of who i am has not changed, but my reaction to her actions has. I have become more direct, blunt and protecting to her which has lead to where she feels she is today.
She is a stay at home mom, raising the typical terrible two's little man. He is a challenge to say the least, nothing like our first kid. Instead of being who she was with our first child, she basically has become the opposite. No activities, play time, reading etc, instead, she hides from it by sitting outside on her phone, texting, listening to music, smoking/drinking...and it just destroys me to see her do this.
We are seeing a therapist, a good one i should add who was able to get us to give it one more chance. That was over a week ago, and i saw some baby steps in her trying. But...the last few days, she is back to her old self.
I understand miracles cant happen over night and patience will be key for me. I am an impatient man, so hoping to get some advice from anyone out there. Even looking for a woman who has gone through something like this herself and what she did to turn herself around. Also looking for any husbands out there that deal with something similiar and how they worked it out.
