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First off... I'm a newbie here, hope this doesn't come off like some kind of Troll or **** post. It's not intended to be at all.

My wife and I have been married for just over 8 years now, together for 14. I'd say we have a pretty awesome relationship - we're best friends basically. We occasionally have a disagreement, but those are really rare. We are financially stable, we always got time for our kids and ourselves despite the hectic schedule. we go on a date atleast 2x/ a week, i.e. a breakfast before going to work or late fancy dinner without the kids.

Either way.. let's talk about my matter at hand. I wish my wife would wear sexy lingerie a little more often. Maybe once in 3-4 months she will surprise me and she'll put on a tedy or a babydoll that I've picked up for her over the years but those times that she surprised mostly comes with an occasion OR If she ever wear Lingerie with no occasion or out of nothing, that is because of my request or I begged. I've been doing a lot of things for her like backrubs, massage, wash the dishes and I cook for her and the kids daily because I'm the better cook compared to her. Most of the time the subject is just never broached. The very rare times she surprises me, I always complimented her before during and after she noticed it also that the sex was more amazing! (I get so pump up)I also made sure to treat her very well after the sex like breakfast in bed, flowers when she wakes and more..

we are at our mid 30's, with 2 kids, we are not perfect physically but we are fit and are not overweight. So there's no body issues or self confidence probs.

She knows I love lingerie - I'm a sucker for thongs, strings, lace and pair it up with stockings and heels then I'll be in heaven! I'm the type of guy that like to slowly remove the clothing while making love, or I like to have sex with semi naked, a little shirt on or undies on the knees or half of the bra off, skirt up, string pulled etc..

Of course I've mentioned my affinity for lingerie before and I've bought her countless items - I used to buy her some lingerie for every holiday, on top of any other gifts I'd get her. In recognition also, she's bought thongs and strings by herself in which she never/rarely did during our early stages together (includes dating years).
The times she wears Lingerie, are times when we are about to have sex, say we go on a date, she will wear something nice but will just wear regular undies, not the granny type but not thong or strings, then when we go back to our room or say hotel if we are on a vacation, she'll undress and wear the thongs/strings. I mean why not wear it along with the nice sexy dress? Sometimes also I tell her to wear Lingerie before we have sex, most of the time she oblige but there's a smirk on her face. Despite her being compliant most of the time, it would have been better and I will feel better if I need not to tell her or to beg.


I've told her that if one night we went out she wore a dress or skirt and gave me a surprise peek of stockings and a garter belt underneath, I'd probably lose it right on the spot. Still nothing. Another time we were at the mall and I whispered to her to go pick out some shoes that she thought might be appropriate for the bedroom - We had fun picking them out but she's worn them maybe two or three times in a year.
We have talked about this multiple times, I've even pointed out to her about her co-workers, my co workers wearing thong (in a candid way of course, I'm not turned on if it is not my wife) and her reply was that she's aware of it and that scrubs really matches well with thongs but she does not want her patients attention on her in which I totally agree. so it is not like she does not want to wear thongs coz she does, like when she exercise in our mini gym at our basement she wears thongs (not all the time) because she finds it comfortable along with the yoga pants-not that frequent and when she wears thongs she make sure that it is not visible to someone, say like jeans and strings.
Like the other day, when we gave the kids a ride to school, she was wearing leggings but she put a skirt on top (IDK how to describe it specifically) then when I dropped her back at home, when she went out of the car, I playfully squeeze her butt then I noticed she was wearing a thong then I told her how sexy she was and I appreciate it then I told her that I was so turn on, but she just dismissed me and told me, she just had a work out and needed to take a bath (I could care less about her bathing) she also said we'll have sex later because we were running late, I pretended to took of while she went inside the house but I still went inside the house to catch her, she already changed undies and was ready to take a bath although we end up having a quickie, same situation occurred. Most of the time I get a reasoning, why wear it when it'll be removed anyways.

We are still madly in love with each other, we make love almost everyday and sometimes 3x/day on good day. The times when she's the one asking sex, say she wants to have sex in the middle of the night or it'll be a second round, she'll just ran her hands all over my body, caress or kiss me etc.. then there's time that I'm dead tired but I never say no, NEVER but of course it'll take a little time to be awaken and the first thing I check is if she's wearing lingerie, I told her that if only she wears the lingerie then wakes me up, then she does not need to the work. there were also times she wanted to have sex on places that I've never thought conducive like on her clinic, I've ended up missing the cues, again why not wear thong then there's no need for cues and signal

I am hoping that women especially wives can tell me about their opinions on lingerie or thongs and how they feel about it and they're if they are wearing thongs that are clearly visible say white skirt and black thong? Does your husband prevent you or will tell you it's too obvious? for me, while it's a big turn on for guys to look at my wife, there's also a little conservative side in me that will tell her it's too much but it does not happen and my request for her to wear thongs happens mostly at nights, on a movie date, late night dinner at a fancy restaurants with rich guys, some oldies with younger wife or GF's that got far more revealing items than my request to my wife so for sure it'll be just normal for those guys and no high testosterone teens around or there's only few of them.

I'm not hoping all the time, I'm just hoping she wears it more frequently especially when she knows that we'll end up having sex.
Each Every sex or making love with my wife is special, my analogy is like receiving a gift, you know the thing/gift you'll receive will be special yet the giver will still wrap it with something nice.
again my issue here is not about lack of sex, lack of desire or poor performance but the lack of visual creativity or visual seduction.

Believe me, this isn't a make it or break it type of issue. It would just be the sprinkles on top of an already ginormous, delicious, hot fudge sundae. I'm sure I missed a few points, but I think you all get the general idea.

Any ideas, or am I just SOL?
 

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Good evening
my wife very often wears sexy lingerie - and I very much appreciate it. (before you get jeleaus, she rarely wants sex).

She does find thongs uncomfortable. If thongs are not a special treat for you maybe you can talk to her about other sexy things she can wear.

Do you have something nice to wear for her? Silk robes or boxers etc?
 

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While I appreciate that men are more visual when it comes to getting turned on, what you need to understand is that most of the really sexy looking underwear (especially thongs, strings, etc.) are really uncomfortable to wear under clothing. I've never had a problem with wearing a thong (or some other sexy underwear) to bed when sex is on the agenda, there's no way I could wander round all day in a thong. I tend to wear boy pants because they're really comfortable under any clothing - jeans, dresses, skirts, etc and they don't give you VPL when worn under leggings. Also - making your underwear visible (as in white skirt, black thong) can make you look and feel really tacky. We women are under pressure from the media to make sure our underwear isn't visible so making sure it is just makes us feel like we're making a huge fashion faux pas. What a woman wears is judged by other women all the time and if we commit these fashion or sartorial mistakes we usually end up with female "friends" and colleagues *****ing about us behind our backs. Would it not be acceptable for your wife to just wear this sexy stuff in the bedroom so that she can feel sexy in the bedroom but elegant when she's out and about?
 

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You are doing it every day and complaining about lingerie? Give me a break.
No matter how good someone has it, there is always something more that can make it better!
 

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My SO really doesn't like lingerie... he just wants my naked body!

Don't get me wrong, he certainly appreciates it when I wear it, but the first thing he does is remove it ENTIRELY from my body.

Personally, I hate lingerie during sex. It's usually itchy, scratchy, rides up my crotch, and is just plain in the way.

But if it's something YOU really enjoy, you need to communicate it to her clearly and in a NON-WHINING, NON-BEGGING way.

None of this, "Pleeeeeease put this on!"

More like, "Here sexy b*tch, put this on NOW so I can f*ck your brains out!"

There. How's that?
 

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My SO really doesn't like lingerie... he just wants my naked body!

Don't get me wrong, he certainly appreciates it when I wear it, but the first thing he does is remove it ENTIRELY from my body.

Personally, I hate lingerie during sex. It's usually itchy, scratchy, rides up my crotch, and is just plain in the way.

But if it's something YOU really enjoy, you need to communicate it to her clearly and in a NON-WHINING, NON-BEGGING way.

None of this, "Pleeeeeease put this on!"

More like, "Here sexy b*tch, put this on NOW so I can f*ck your brains out!"

There. How's that?
Agreed with Clam, as much as I like the idea of my wife in sexy lingerie, in all honestly that $hit is coming off the moment we hit the bed, if not sooner! I don't think me wearing lingerie would do anything for her either, so we just skip it all :grin2:
 

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The main issue here is that he has very clearly communicated to her how much this mean to him (I hope!) and she has shown no special aversion to doing it.

So, why doesn't she do it for him occasionally?

That would bug the crap out of me as well (and it has, regarding different things).
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Good evening
my wife very often wears sexy lingerie - and I very much appreciate it. (before you get jeleaus, she rarely wants sex).

She does find thongs uncomfortable. If thongs are not a special treat for you maybe you can talk to her about other sexy things she can wear.

Do you have something nice to wear for her? Silk robes or boxers etc?
Thank you for your response

I feel bad that your wife rarely wants to have sex with you, I mean she might probably got reasons? we had that phase before when our kids were like 2-3 years old,the kids used to sleep in our bedroom.

I might go crazy if my wife wears sexy stuff and not have sex? maybe i'll ask for a bj atleast!

about my issue here, it's not just about lingerie or thongs, my wife does not even want to wear camisoles and shorts set or silk, lace chimese, not even night gowns. she wears PJ'S and loose shirt, or PJ set or an unsexy robe

I used to hate boxers, I'm always a brief guy and I do not wear color undies but since my wife told me about her preferences that she gets turned on when I'm wearing colored boxers, from then on there's not a single brief in my drawer and no white boxers at all.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
While I appreciate that men are more visual when it comes to getting turned on, what you need to understand is that most of the really sexy looking underwear (especially thongs, strings, etc.) are really uncomfortable to wear under clothing. I've never had a problem with wearing a thong (or some other sexy underwear) to bed when sex is on the agenda, there's no way I could wander round all day in a thong. I tend to wear boy pants because they're really comfortable under any clothing - jeans, dresses, skirts, etc and they don't give you VPL when worn under leggings. Also - making your underwear visible (as in white skirt, black thong) can make you look and feel really tacky. We women are under pressure from the media to make sure our underwear isn't visible so making sure it is just makes us feel like we're making a huge fashion faux pas. What a woman wears is judged by other women all the time and if we commit these fashion or sartorial mistakes we usually end up with female "friends" and colleagues *****ing about us behind our backs. Would it not be acceptable for your wife to just wear this sexy stuff in the bedroom so that she can feel sexy in the bedroom but elegant when she's out and about?
Thanks for the reply.

There's multiple issues involved here, please do not misconstrue my statement about thongs and I might have exaggerated a li'l bit about wanting my wife wear white skirt/pants and black or colored thongs to make the thong visible, it'll be nice but a little extreme.
other issues that I was not able to mention are not just lingerie, thongs or stockings but my wife rarely wears camisoles and pants set or a nightgown.
An example of that is if sex is in the agenda and say my wife is already in the masters while I'm reading bedtime stories with the kids and when the kids are sleep and I go to our room, I just will see my wife naked, on pj's? what's a little camisoles and panty? a silk sexy robe instead of a bath robe?

again she oblige but there's a smirk and do I have to request all the time?
 

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Discussion Starter #11
You are doing it every day and complaining about lingerie? Give me a break.
thanks for your reply
again this is not a make or break, this will just be a toppings to an already delicious cake or ice cream if I may say.

We are having sex almost everyday as we are madly inlove with each other, we had a phase we're we could not find time to have sex (always quickie) or to have time with each other when the kids were still very young and it has only been 2 yrs or so since we've regain the time for each other, kids used to sleep with us and etc but now kids are 7-and 6 yr old
 

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I would be careful about begging or complaining to get her to accommodate you on wearing more lingerie/thongs. Women do not like a man that is complains or nags about things, especially sexual things.

You can do one or two things. You can compliment her a lot when she does, but be sure not to make her feel you like the lingerie more than her!

Or if all else fails you can be assertive. This would require you destroy/hide all the underwear you do not care much for and replace it all with only thongs! You could also get creatively aggressive by going ahead and placing a thong inside her pants as they are folded in the dresser or hanging in the closet.

Cheers,
Badsanta
 

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Discussion Starter #13
No matter how good someone has it, there is always something more that can make it better!
right on thanks!!

Funny is that I got alot of analogy which I've also mentioned to my wife to make her understand.

another 1 is that a Vegetarian would sometimes or eventually put a dressing on the salad even if he/she eats veggies everyday, not a meat or egg on the salad but a dressing. same as I what I told my wife, no thongs then there's lingerie, no corset then there's camisoles, no camisoles then night gown, heels stockings
 

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Good evening
Its possible your wife is not comfortable with her body. It took many years for my wife to finally believe that I really did find her attractive and that lingerie was not some sort of compensation, but an enhancement.




Thank you for your response

I feel bad that your wife rarely wants to have sex with you, I mean she might probably got reasons? we had that phase before when our kids were like 2-3 years old,the kids used to sleep in our bedroom.

I might go crazy if my wife wears sexy stuff and not have sex? maybe i'll ask for a bj atleast!

about my issue here, it's not just about lingerie or thongs, my wife does not even want to wear camisoles and shorts set or silk, lace chimese, not even night gowns. she wears PJ'S and loose shirt, or PJ set or an unsexy robe

I used to hate boxers, I'm always a brief guy and I do not wear color undies but since my wife told me about her preferences that she gets turned on when I'm wearing colored boxers, from then on there's not a single brief in my drawer and no white boxers at all.
 

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Good evening
I don't actually like thongs. Its a bit tricky - my wife wore one to surprise me for my birthday. I've been trying to figure out how to let her know that while I truly appreciate the effort to make me happy, some of the other things she wears are actually more attractive to me, and more comfortable for her.




While I appreciate that men are more visual when it comes to getting turned on, what you need to understand is that most of the really sexy looking underwear (especially thongs, strings, etc.) are really uncomfortable to wear under clothing. I've never had a problem with wearing a thong (or some other sexy underwear) to bed when sex is on the agenda, there's no way I could wander round all day in a thong. I tend to wear boy pants because they're really comfortable under any clothing - jeans, dresses, skirts, etc and they don't give you VPL when worn under leggings. Also - making your underwear visible (as in white skirt, black thong) can make you look and feel really tacky. We women are under pressure from the media to make sure our underwear isn't visible so making sure it is just makes us feel like we're making a huge fashion faux pas. What a woman wears is judged by other women all the time and if we commit these fashion or sartorial mistakes we usually end up with female "friends" and colleagues *****ing about us behind our backs. Would it not be acceptable for your wife to just wear this sexy stuff in the bedroom so that she can feel sexy in the bedroom but elegant when she's out and about?
 

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Good evening
I don't actually like thongs. Its a bit tricky - my wife wore one to surprise me for my birthday. I've been trying to figure out how to let her know that while I truly appreciate the effort to make me happy, some of the other things she wears are actually more attractive to me, and more comfortable for her.
Richard, just tell her. Why wouldn't you?

OP you may want to back off a bit. Richard may be right about the self image issues.
 

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Good evening
Hmm, think about it: She tried to do something specially nice for me on my birthday. At the time I reacted enthusiastically - not faked because I really was very happy that she wanted to do this. To later say something that translates to "thanks, but you could have done better" seems wrong - no matter how nicely I phrase it.

Meanwhile I try to let her know what I do like.




Richard, just tell her. Why wouldn't you?

OP you may want to back off a bit. Richard may be right about the self image issues.
 

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Discussion Starter #18
My SO really doesn't like lingerie... he just wants my naked body!

Don't get me wrong, he certainly appreciates it when I wear it, but the first thing he does is remove it ENTIRELY from my body.

Personally, I hate lingerie during sex. It's usually itchy, scratchy, rides up my crotch, and is just plain in the way.

But if it's something YOU really enjoy, you need to communicate it to her clearly and in a NON-WHINING, NON-BEGGING way.

None of this, "Pleeeeeease put this on!"

More like, "Here sexy b*tch, put this on NOW so I can f*ck your brains out!"

There. How's that?
thanks for the advice

I guess that's your SO's preference. Visual stimulation, Little thrill and tease is a my preference too.
not just lingerie, but others like camisoles, nightgown so on.. also I'm not asking my wife's to wear those lover's lane, adam & eve type of lingerie that would make her look like a *****, it's those Victoria's secret kind of thing

About the B!tch, and etc.. we're not into that, I spank her pull her hair but not really into b!tch, wh0r3 $lut words..
 

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Discussion Starter #19
The main issue here is that he has very clearly communicated to her how much this mean to him (I hope!) and she has shown no special aversion to doing it.

So, why doesn't she do it for him occasionally?

That would bug the crap out of me as well (and it has, regarding different things).
thank you, on target!!

IDK if 4-5x ayr occasional? but why not make occasional to regular? like say 1x a month, then frequent like 1x/week.. and just maybe make it a habit, like almost every sex!!

I'm a li'l bit frustrated, near desperate as my wife seems to just ignore my point but it is not a deal breaker, not a make or break and I have never gone mad and will never ever be angry to my wife if my demand will not be meet, just like her when I tell her to put on lingerie, she will have a smirk on her face, I also got a smirk on my face when she's not wearing lingerie but it won't deter the sex..
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Good evening
I don't actually like thongs. Its a bit tricky - my wife wore one to surprise me for my birthday. I've been trying to figure out how to let her know that while I truly appreciate the effort to make me happy, some of the other things she wears are actually more attractive to me, and more comfortable for her.
maybe the thong she got are those from lovers lane or too ****ty stuff? but I respect that! that's your preference
 
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