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Have you at least talked to your wife about expectations, and more importantly, boundaries and consequences for that weekend????
Dog Dog breed Carnivore Liver Whiskers

So you feel like that will do it, huh?
I’m not so sure. But he cheated for 10 years with another man’s wife and got off to her sexting another man, so it’s clear he’s hoping her “boundaries” are not so strong. He probably just wants videos...

I don’t think he’s sweating this all that much.
 

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So you feel like that will do it, huh?
I’m not so sure. But he cheated for 10 years with another man’s wife and got off to her sexting another man, so it’s clear he’s hoping her “boundaries” are not so strong. He probably just wants videos...

I don’t think he’s sweating this all that much.
No i don't feel like that will do, and I never said it would. We've already seen he's not going to take decisive action, but after everything that's happened, and everything he's been told on this thread, I'm just curious to see if he's even talked to his wife and expressed any concerns over this debacle. I'm not sure if this is even real.
 

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I would have called her friend myself and said “sorry my wife can’t come to your wedding since she slept with Paul days before our wedding and he’s going to be there at yours. She can consider herself lucky I didn’t divorce her the first time I found out and there won’t be a second time.”
How’s that exactly?
You already told us that you’re not going to tell her no wedding. You’re not going to enforce any boundaries at all. You’re not going to do anything about the situation, because if you were, you already would have. You’re not going to do ****.
And you’re going to “work through” whatever ends up happening, according to your previous post.

Your previous posts were sad and frustrating. This one is laughable. Suddenly you want to project toughness, while doing nothing.
You want to feel strong? Be strong and DO something about this situation before it happens.

edit
Nevermind. @jjj858 I confused your handle with OP, guess I should read more carefully. I thought it strange he suddenly came up with a bunch of bluster amidst his inaction.

OP, just buck up and ****ing DO something about this. Or accept being a cuckold, because you’ve been given every opportunity to find your testicles and stop it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #126 ·
I'll try to make a long story short -
My wife and I have been married 10 years...very happy...2 wonderful children. She broke down a couple years after we were married and admitted she saw her old boyfriend "a couple times" when we were engaged.
Needless to say, I was shocked.
But I believe her when she says she has been 100% faithful since then.
Like a fool, I wanted some of the details of who and when it happened, and all she would say it was with her ex boyfriend Paul, and it was after we moved into a two-flat just before we got married.
Knowing we moved into that place 3 weeks before our wedding, I can only imagine how close to our wedding day did she sleep with Paul? To this day, she refuses to answer that question.
Anyhow- Paul moved to the east coast quite some time ago, so I was not worried about them ever hooking up again.
Until now.
My wife is going to a wedding in Florida in a couple of weeks with several of the people she used to hang out with. The bride to be is a very good friend of hers, and Paul is part of that circle of friends too.
I cannot attend the wedding due to my job and the kids.
So, she and Paul will be there...alone...together.
Knowing she cheated on me once with him, I am of course worried it will happen again.
This will sound bad - but my wife and I did some "roleplaying" I guess you would say about Paul, which led to some erotic emails between the two of them. The idea was she would never see him again, so who cares what they wrote to each other, right?
But knowing what those emails were about, and knowing he still wants her, will make it a very long weekend.
Part of me thinks that we are fine, and sex with Paul (if it comes to that) can never interfere with the life and family we have now.
What should I tell my wife??
I cannot forbid her to go, but I cannot be with her at the wedding either.
And those emails that I was part of that Paul has no idea she was sharing with me, are going to come back to haunt me I am sure. I do not want to get into the specifics of the emails here, but willing to discuss privatley if anyone is interested.
Anyhow, I'm a wreck already thinking about them together for a couple nights mid-month.
Anything I can do to relax about it a bit more?
Thank you
My last response until the weekend at least.
Of course my wife and I have talked about it, and she insists I have nothing to worry about. We agreed to talk at midnight both nights she is gone. It is what might happen before and after midnight that will be on my mind too much.
And honestly, it's probably worrying me SO much more than it should be. But I think its interesting that just about everyone here thinks without a doubt that she WILL have sex with Paul. Like our home, family, and marriage does not even enter into the equation. Yes, it happened when we were engaged, but I would hope the last 10 years will count for something.
I do wish we never "roleplayed" about him and started those emails. They were just something fun my wife and I were doing, but Paul may have seen it differently.
My wife already knows we are having sex just before she leaves and as soon as she comes home...lol. I will be busy with work and the the kids during the days which will make time more along a little quicker. But after they are in bed Friday and Saturday night will be the toughest. Thank god for ESPN and college football.
 

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My last response until the weekend at least.
Of course my wife and I have talked about it, and she insists I have nothing to worry about. We agreed to talk at midnight both nights she is gone. It is what might happen before and after midnight that will be on my mind too much.
And honestly, it's probably worrying me SO much more than it should be. But I think its interesting that just about everyone here thinks without a doubt that she WILL have sex with Paul. Like our home, family, and marriage does not even enter into the equation. Yes, it happened when we were engaged, but I would hope the last 10 years will count for something.
I do wish we never "roleplayed" about him and started those emails. They were just something fun my wife and I were doing, but Paul may have seen it differently.
My wife already knows we are having sex just before she leaves and as soon as she comes home...lol. I will be busy with work and the the kids during the days which will make time more along a little quicker. But after they are in bed Friday and Saturday night will be the toughest. Thank god for ESPN and college football.
Alone time with a past sexual partner is always a bad idea. You are right, that 10 years of marriage should and does count for something, but you obviously see that it is a risky situation. Especially since you played games with Paul. I can't see how he saw it differently. Was he in on the little "game" or did he think she was really think into him? How did that whole game end, just stopped emailing or cut it off? I don't know exactly how all that went down, but from your story that is one of my biggest concerns. Did the wife totally pull the wool over your eyes and that "game" was very real to her? Please tell me those emails didn't include nude photos.
 

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Talked to my wife about this. She said, the close friend already knows the wife slept with Paul just before the wedding. If she is close enough to be a bridesmaid....bride already knows she was unfaithful to you and would make sure Paul is not invited if she really wants her friend to be there. She also agrees due to the circumstances, no way in hell should she go if her hubby cant. It would be part of the consequence of her infedility and protection of the marriage.
 

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So you feel like that will do it, huh?
I’m not so sure. But he cheated for 10 years with another man’s wife and got off to her sexting another man, so it’s clear he’s hoping her “boundaries” are not so strong. He probably just wants videos...

I don’t think he’s sweating this all that much.
T/J Every time I see this pup, I think "that poor baby is toothless".:p end T/J
 

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My last response until the weekend at least.
Of course my wife and I have talked about it, and she insists I have nothing to worry about. We agreed to talk at midnight both nights she is gone. It is what might happen before and after midnight that will be on my mind too much.
And honestly, it's probably worrying me SO much more than it should be. But I think its interesting that just about everyone here thinks without a doubt that she WILL have sex with Paul. Like our home, family, and marriage does not even enter into the equation. Yes, it happened when we were engaged, but I would hope the last 10 years will count for something.
I do wish we never "roleplayed" about him and started those emails. They were just something fun my wife and I were doing, but Paul may have seen it differently.
My wife already knows we are having sex just before she leaves and as soon as she comes home...lol. I will be busy with work and the the kids during the days which will make time more along a little quicker. But after they are in bed Friday and Saturday night will be the toughest. Thank god for ESPN and college football.
Why are you so weak? Why are you tolerating this? It’s a choice, and a bad one.

It’s not that she will definitely cheat, its just highly plausible that she will cheat and the scenario is perfect to enable it.
Therefore a wise, competent man leads and protects his marriage by not allowing dangerous and inappropriate situations like this to happen.

And even if she doesn’t bang Paul this weekend, you still lose.
You lose because it’s clear to her that you are weak, that she is in control and she can do whatever she wants. And you will accept it.

And that is extremely unattractive to women and makes it more likely that she will act badly in the future
 

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Talked to my wife about this. She said, the close friend already knows the wife slept with Paul just before the wedding. If she is close enough to be a bridesmaid....bride already knows she was unfaithful to you and would make sure Paul is not invited if she really wants her friend to be there. She also agrees due to the circumstances, no way in hell should she go if her hubby cant. It would be part of the consequence of her infedility and protection of the marriage.
lol, funny, my wife said almost the exact same thing when I mentioned this to her. She said something like, "the bride has to know she slept with the guy, I'm surprised she would even invite him."

No way should this wife go without her husband.
 

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I have a feeling OP has never said the n word to his wife. It’s foreign to her. Like Swahili or something. He needs to practice saying it.

Maybe let it roll if his tongue a few times....
Noooooooooooooooooooooo.

And when she says he’s controlling, just agree.
Then say, someone that has no self control and can’t keep their legs crossed weeks (likely the eve of) before their wedding, is going to get a little help from their partner who doesn’t appreciate being cheated on and then watching his wife ride off in the sunset for a romantic weekend with the same affair partner.

Yeah, I would relish the title of being “controlling” in this instance.
 

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Discussion Starter · #136 ·
Alone time with a past sexual partner is always a bad idea. You are right, that 10 years of marriage should and does count for something, but you obviously see that it is a risky situation. Especially since you played games with Paul. I can't see how he saw it differently. Was he in on the little "game" or did he think she was really think into him? How did that whole game end, just stopped emailing or cut it off? I don't know exactly how all that went down, but from your story that is one of my biggest concerns. Did the wife totally pull the wool over your eyes and that "game" was very real to her? Please tell me those emails didn't include nude photos.
Paul had no idea she was sharing his emails with me. He would be SO embarrassed if he knew that because he got very "descriptive" in them. And my wife and I would work together on her responses, so it was nothing she was doing on her own. And definitely no nude pictures - although my wife thinks he still may have some from when they were dating.
It was a game we were playing on him, which I am regretting now. At the time, it was a fun thing we were doing as a couple because we never thought they would see each other again.
And it ended when she felt she was leading him on too much, which I understood.
Not sure how someone can refer to it as an online cuckold thing when HE was the won being played.
 

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I already told you to tell Paul that you and your wife were just using him for kicks and giggles. If he were any kind of man, he would be upset with your wife and that would leave a sour taste in in his mouth. I don't know if you're too ashamed to admit what you did or you're concerned about hurting his feelings (WTH?); but, at least you would be doing something to head this hook-up off at the pass. Don't worry about him thinking less of your wife - he already knows exactly who she is.
 

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Paul had no idea she was sharing his emails with me. He would be SO embarrassed if he knew that because he got very "descriptive" in them. And my wife and I would work together on her responses, so it was nothing she was doing on her own. And definitely no nude pictures - although my wife thinks he still may have some from when they were dating.
It was a game we were playing on him, which I am regretting now. At the time, it was a fun thing we were doing as a couple because we never thought they would see each other again.
And it ended when she felt she was leading him on too much, which I understood.
Not sure how someone can refer to it as an online cuckold thing when HE was the won being played.
What you describe is not cuckolding, but it isn't any better. Paul was left with the impression that even while married your wife is open and available for a affair. You are complicit in that and unless you or she told him what was really going on with those emails he still has that impression to this day. Put yourself in Paul's shoes, knowing what he wrote in those emails. You know you would be having all kinds of fantasies and plans about what you are going to do when she gets to Florida.

Honestly you and your wife are both horrible people. You were the POSOM for 10 years with a married man, your wife screwed a guy days before she married you and you both strung along that AP with sexual emails. You are both horrible excuses for humans. You may as well just let your wife go have her fun with Paul. I can only pray that your children don't turn out like you.
 

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What you describe is not cuckolding, but it isn't any better. Paul was left with the impression that even while married your wife is open and available for a affair. You are complicit in that and unless you or she told him what was really going on with those emails he still has that impression to this day. Put yourself in Paul's shoes, knowing what he wrote in those emails. You know you would be having all kinds of fantasies and plans about what you are going to do when she gets to Florida.

Honestly you and your wife are both horrible people. You were the POSOM for 10 years with a married man, your wife screwed a guy days before she married you and you both strung along that AP with sexual emails. You are both horrible excuses for humans. You may as well just let your wife go have her fun with Paul. I can only pray that your children don't turn out like you.
He is.
 

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Paul had no idea she was sharing his emails with me. He would be SO embarrassed if he knew that because he got very "descriptive" in them. And my wife and I would work together on her responses, so it was nothing she was doing on her own. And definitely no nude pictures - although my wife thinks he still may have some from when they were dating.
It was a game we were playing on him, which I am regretting now. At the time, it was a fun thing we were doing as a couple because we never thought they would see each other again.
And it ended when she felt she was leading him on too much, which I understood.
Not sure how someone can refer to it as an online cuckold thing when HE was the won being played.
Because you are the husband, and the emails described things they would do to each other. Another dude ****ing your wife. You were played, and will be played this weekend. Now that you and your wife got Paul all worked up, getting a rock hard erection when he thinks about his opportunity this weekend, you think nothing will happen between them if he gives it a go, and your wife had a few drinks in her? Not new territory for her, this cheating thing....

That's why many of us would put money on it. She will likely not admit to it, so asking her when she comes back will be worthless.
 
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