My wife left me for another person, she told me back during the last week of September, she slept with another, and had been for sometime. a few days later, I left, not wanting to hurt her, I left, b/c if I had stayed, I would have seriously hurt her.
Now, I live on my own and every night I fight off depression, anxiety, self loathing...I sit at home, night after night fighting wave, after wave of pure hell, emotion, the kind that cause my breath to choke up, tears to flow, no thought, no anything, just pure sadness and every night it's the same, since I moved away. I thought I could handle, it, thought b/c I am a man, this shouldn't bother me, but it does.
I feel horrible, sad, I tell myself, no turning back, I look at this site and see post after post after post after post, knowing, I AM NOT ALONE.
I have been trying for weeks to deal with this on my own, and now, I am back to this site.
Don't get me wrong, on the surface, we are friends, no angst in child custody, no issues from me at all about support, everything split, right down the middle. Done, easy... except I am sad. and I don't know what to do..
I occupy my mind at work with work that keeps me mentally challenged, I have great friends that I hang out with, seek in confidence, talk about my problems, and issues, as well as I can talk.
but, every night for the past 25-30 days, however long it's been, all I do is weep, no thoughts, no emotions, just pure sadness...
For now, I'm going to keep reading, keep seeing my friends, and just try to function as a normal human being.
No suicidal thoughts, no more rage against my ex, that has passed, and I know that with time, everything else will pass, it has to pass, and time will tell.
Thank you for this opportunity.
Your friend,
Tom
