Talk About Marriage banner

61 - 62 of 62 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,932 Posts
Realistically, the best possible outcome in the relationship is that she agrees to duty sex and tries to make the best of it. Likely, it will always be like a chore to her that she does the minimum to keep the peace. It's very unlikely that you can get to a point where she enjoys sex like you want her to. You may eventually be able to impress upon her that sex is a requirement marriage, but it will be like the same way she might know that the bathroom needs to be cleaned once a week. It likely won't be something she enjoys in and of itself.

Divorce is likely the best outcome for you, unfortunately. But if you go down that path, try to do it in a responsible way. No matter how you feel about this matter, this is part of the person you married. Yes, it's a pretty big fault, but part of being married is understanding there will be rough times. Even if you can't work past this, it doesn't mean that you have drop a bomb and create massive destruction. Consider how to minimize the effect on your kids. Is your 13-year-old a girl? If so, consider her emotional state. Divorce can have a destructive emotional effect on tweens. If you think she's at risk for destructive behaviors, you'll need to get in front of any issues.

One thing you can ask her is why she doesn't put any effort to addressing this issue. While it can be understandable that someone wouldn't want sex, it's less understandable that they won't make the effort to do anything about it. You can tell her that you're thinking of divorce more because she doesn't seem to care to address the problem rather than she doesn't want sex. Even if she doesn't feel the need, she can still read books, go to therapy, etc. to work on ways to create that desire so she does want it. I bet you'd feel differently if she had a stack of self-help books on her nightstand that she was reading to try to make things better.
 
61 - 62 of 62 Posts
Top