The last 2 weeks we have gone on 2 dates. Have had lots of candid talks. Just taking it one day at a time. I'm not holding anything back, whatever comes to my head I bring it up and discuss. We've done a lot of reading. She is willing to do whatever it takes. I told her i want to see the divorce through because our marriage is dead and anything else we might have would be a new relationship. I straight up just told her i want to protect myself against anything she may do in the future and she gets it. She says she will do whatever I need in order to build trust back.
Of course this could all be just pure desperation and things could go sideways in a year or two; but it will be a much cleaner break now that we are allowing the divorce to go through and start anew.
Problem is I am currently just struggling with knowing if this is what i want. 2 months ago i would have said definitely, but things have changed. I'm in a better headspace now, i received some female attention and was starting to realize that things wouldn't be so bad without her. I just have to ask myself if i'm in it for the comfort or because i truly want to make things work. I think i know the answer but i also don't want to make any rash decisions so I think i will see how this goes in the short term, and just ensure she understands where my head is at.
Maybe at this point you should ask her what is in it for you. This reconciliation. She know what she is getting. As you said, things are not so bad without her. What is so good with her?