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For a long time, you tell yourself the cheater is scum but deep down you don’t really believe it 100%. Then, one day, you tell yourself that and you absolutely believe it 100%. At that point you know you’re finally and completely over them. The problem is that takes time and everyone is different. When I was in the middle of it I thought I would never get through it. But I did and so will you.
 

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I went through all the phone records dating back months before she left, and not a single one had the guy's number. She didn't call him until she was out of the house.
🙄

Dude... come on.

You've got kids – you can't afford to be this naive.

...unless she was communicating via other methods before she left...
Yep.

...but her phone was always unlocked and i was on it often so i don't htink it's likely.
Uninstall, reinstall.

i'll probably never get the truth from her about that.
Not voluntarily, no.
 

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Thanks everyone. She texted earlier today that she has to go look at her rent house tomorrow during the time the talk was scheduled for...lol. I told her OK and that i will cancel the babysitter. Nothing else and she didn't respond back about it. I guess she is playing a game where she wants me to ask her to meet at a different time? Make it look like I'm the one pushing for it? Who knows, it's Pretty laughable at this point. Admittedly, laughable from my end too, ha.
You didn't display the requisite amount of lovesick puppy so she figured you might actually hold her to account for her decisions... which means it just wasn't worth her time.

On the plus side, i went play a poker game tonight that i haven't played since pre covid and won $1400 so that's nice...
Nice!
 
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She's mad mad. I have to work storm restoration for Hurricane Ida and she wanted to stay with the kids at my house since she feels safer there. i told her no because she doesn't live here. Came pick up the kids this morning and didn't say a word to me, ha. Everything is all good as long as she gets her way/what she wants. It's all so clear now. Simply wants all the comfort i can provide but wants to live her own life.

It's like she still hasn't grasped it yet. Once divorce is finalized does she think she would stay at my house in a situation like this? Well, why would she now? Of course she tried to use the safety of the kids as manipulation. I just told her she's responsbile for their safety while she has custody.
"Kids can absolutely stay here.

You can't."
 

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Another rough morning. Today was my daughter's birthday. 5yo. I went over stbx house to drop off a present to her. There was a fun jump so i went jump with my 2 kids for 15minutes. Daughter loved it. Then i left.

balled like a baby on the way home. Nothing to do with stbx; just not beign able to spend the day with my kid on her own birthday is so ****ty. I'll make it up to her next week though.


Also, this afternoon my stbx texts "i have some odd jobs i need done around here asap, i can pay you to do them if youre interested"

I was completely flabbergasted. After everything that's happened, expecially the last couple weeks, everything she's done to our family, me telling her twice i'm either her husband or the kid's dad, nothing in between...she has the nerve to ask me to go do some handyman work at her new house?

I didn't even respond. I'm still in shock. She has to be the least self aware person out there right now. Does she think that little of me?
You should've responded with a link to Angie's List...


😆😂🤣
 
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OP.... you hear no apologies because she is not "cutting you." She is assessing her position

so be aware. What helped me, with my XW is I profiled her...which at the time was my concentration

in my PhD studies. I knew her moves like clockwork. Only you know her better than anyone else.

Time..... is your ally. If you climb to 50k feet and observe her actions, WITHOUT emotion... it becomes

much easier. She doesn't have the audacity to say she wants to work things out but will damn sure

use the kids to manipulate you. She must work p/t at a travel agency because she continually wants

to send you on a guilt trip. Your journey is far from over. She still has many tricks up her sleeve. Be

ready. Separate who she IS from who she WAS. That helped me a lot. I would expand upon MGTOW

but I would like your permission to.
 
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Discussion Starter · #368 ·
You didn't display the requisite amount of lovesick puppy so she figured you might actually hold her to account for her decisions... which means it just wasn't worth her time.



Nice!
This seems accurate. I failed to post in here but she did call a few days later after she canceled and it was "i can't do this right now, my anxiety is through the roof, i know it will just turn into an interrogation etc etc" and then followed it up with "let's just put the kids first and continue on this path(to D)", lol. She absolutely does not want to face th emusic and is using anxiety as an excuse to not talk about it
 

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Discussion Starter · #369 ·
You should've responded with a link to Angie's List...


😆😂🤣
ha i never responded. I did go the next day to pick up the kids and her cousin was there putting up some blinds and other ****. I just said "damn she roped you in?"
 

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Discussion Starter · #371 ·
🙄

Dude... come on.

You've got kids – you can't afford to be this naive.



Yep.



Uninstall, reinstall.



Not voluntarily, no.
It's possible. She isn't the most tech savvy though. Still possible. I did check her phone 2 weeks before D day because something was "off". I had no reason to think she was cheating but let's just say I felt "curious". Didn't find anything in emails/texts/call logs. So, who knows. Shrugs
 

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It's possible. She isn't the most tech savvy though. Still possible. I did check her phone 2 weeks before D day because something was "off". I had no reason to think she was cheating but let's just say I felt "curious". Didn't find anything in emails/texts/call logs. So, who knows. Shrugs
Her AP may have been tech savvy.
 

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There's also a number of apps that can be used for phone and video calls. Telegram, Facebook, WhatsApp, etc. Plus games with in-built chat facilities that can be a cheater's pal. Sadly.
 

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Discussion Starter · #374 ·
So...i went to Cincinatti the for a 5 day vacation to meet a friend...

I got laid 3 times...

By the same chick...

in the same night

Kept me up until 5:30AM Sunday and i had to leave for the airport at 7. needless to say i got zero sleep and i've been nonstop since arriving home.

worth every minute of lost sleep

I honestly don't think i've ever gone 3x in a night, with anyone. I was so tired after the 2nd time. I thought we were going to sleep but she started playing with it again and asked if i wanted a trifecta. I told her i REALLY needed some sleep but she didn't agree and finished me orally, lol
 

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