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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello everyone. I go by Obeseman87 and I recently got separated from my wife of one year. For the past two years, I was living in my home with my wife, and due to certain circumstances, my Mom came to stay with us as she lost her apartment and I couldn't let her live on the side of the road. Then this past year her sister and her boyfriend came into the home as well. My Mom stepped over some lines and cause a few scenes which caused me and her to bump heads and in the end of each battle she apologize and we moved on from it and was paying me money whenever she could. When her sister came along, she was cool at first. She was kinda like out of sight, out of mind and I didn't mind having her over especially when I found out that she was going through some things. Her boyfriend was cool at first but then he started to try and takeover my home and was causing me problems and issues and for the past 7 months my bills tripled and since my Mom left for surgery in October/November of 2021 and her sister and her boyfriend came into my home in October, they both refused to pay any rent or help out with expenses and we ended up losing our house and My wife separated from me in April and now she's staying at random people homes and she says that she is not leaving me for another man but I don't know if I should stay here.
 

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Hello everyone. I go by Obeseman87 and I recently got separated from my wife of one year. For the past two years, I was living in my home with my wife, and due to certain circumstances, my Mom came to stay with us as she lost her apartment and I couldn't let her live on the side of the road. Then this past year her sister and her boyfriend came into the home as well. My Mom stepped over some lines and cause a few scenes which caused me and her to bump heads and in the end of each battle she apologize and we moved on from it and was paying me money whenever she could. When her sister came along, she was cool at first. She was kinda like out of sight, out of mind and I didn't mind having her over especially when I found out that she was going through some things. Her boyfriend was cool at first but then he started to try and takeover my home and was causing me problems and issues and for the past 7 months my bills tripled and since my Mom left for surgery in October/November of 2021 and her sister and her boyfriend came into my home in October, they both refused to pay any rent or help out with expenses and we ended up losing our house and My wife separated from me in April and now she's staying at random people homes and she says that she is not leaving me for another man but I don't know if I should stay here.
You have the cart driving the horse there. No one should be living there if they're not paying their share. Your wife did the smart thing. Don't know how old mom is but if she's not disabled, she could find some work. If she is, she should be on some disability, depending where you live.

The sister and boyfriend just need to get out. It's up to you to make that happen. They have no excuse. Are you renting or do you own this home? If renting, when is your lease up? You could just move out and then eventually they'd get evicted, but you would have to be sure to tell your landlord in writing you were out.

If you own, evict them or whatever you legally have to do. Seems like telling them to go ought to be enough.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
You have the cart driving the horse there. No one should be living there if they're not paying their share. Your wife did the smart thing. Don't know how old mom is but if she's not disabled, she could find some work. If she is, she should be on some disability, depending where you live.

The sister and boyfriend just need to get out. It's up to you to make that happen. They have no excuse. Are you renting or do you own this home? If renting, when is your lease up? You could just move out and then eventually they'd get evicted, but you would have to be sure to tell your landlord in writing you were out.

If you own, evict them or whatever you legally have to do. Seems like telling them to go ought to be enough.
My mom is disabled and she was with us because shelters was full and then the shutdown happened. We owned the house and we lost it after my sister in law moved in with her boyfriend 🙄. My mom was out of the house for surgery and they moved in and it was good for the first month then they just squatted in the house and cost us money. We lost the house and she left. It was her sister and I tried to get them out.bthey caused us problems and just like my mom I got my mom out and I wanted my wife to get her own sister out.
 

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My mom is disabled and she was with us because shelters was full and then the shutdown happened. We owned the house and we lost it after my sister in law moved in with her boyfriend 🙄. My mom was out of the house for surgery and they moved in and it was good for the first month then they just squatted in the house and cost us money. We lost the house and she left. It was her sister and I tried to get them out.bthey caused us problems and just like my mom I got my mom out and I wanted my wife to get her own sister out.
So you say you lost the house, but you're still in it?? Or did you move somewhere?

Are you guys in the US? If your mom is old, then she should have some Medicare or Medicaid and Social Security. If she's truly disabled, she should have Social Security Disability. Point being, she should have some income.

If not in the US, what do you have where you are?
 

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No I moved in with my brother until my apartment is ready.
And did the troublesome sister and boyfriend follow? Do not let them follow. If they will follow anyway, then just move into temporary short-term housing so you can up and move away from them if needed. I had a friend whose sister did this to her and all they could do was just keep moving away from them.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
And did the troublesome sister and boyfriend follow? Do not let them follow. If they will follow anyway, then just move into temporary short-term housing so you can up and move away from them if needed. I had a friend whose sister did this to her and all they could do was just keep moving away from them.
No. They went somewhere else. I told my wife that wherever I go, no one will be living with us. But I don't know if I can trust my wife and I don't know if she is sleeping around on me. I'm not saying that I'm 100% innocent but I didn't do anything that would result in a separation. I'm going through some things and I just need to know if I should keep going?
 

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No. They went somewhere else. I told my wife that wherever I go, no one will be living with us. But I don't know if I can trust my wife and I don't know if she is sleeping around on me. I'm not saying that I'm 100% innocent but I didn't do anything that would result in a separation. I'm going through some things and I just need to know if I should keep going?
I think your wife just didn't like living with all those people, not to do with sleeping around. That would have made most people up and leave.
 

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You sound like a nice give giving family shelter in a pandemic when they would otherwise be out.

Not sure how you lost the house. Presumably you afforded the mortgage before people lived with you. Even if food & utilities went up that mortgage payment needed to be made, no matter what. I would have eaten Ramen noodles in the dark rather than foreclosure.

All in all your wife who let this happen, who didn't stand up to her leech of a sister & her BF, isn't mature enough to be married & didn't want to fight for the two of you. I see no evidence that she's sleeping around but I also see no evidence that she cares about your marriage.

It may be time to let this go.

I hope your mom is doing well after her surgery.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
You sound like a nice give giving family shelter in a pandemic when they would otherwise be out.

Not sure how you lost the house. Presumably you afforded the mortgage before people lived with you. Even if food & utilities went up that mortgage payment needed to be made, no matter what. I would have eaten Ramen noodles in the dark rather than foreclosure.

All in all your wife who let this happen, who didn't stand up to her leech of a sister & her BF, isn't mature enough to be married & didn't want to fight for the two of you. I see no evidence that she's sleeping around but I also see no evidence that she cares about your marriage.

It may be time to let this go.

I hope your mom is doing well after her surgery.
Mom is fine. She caused some issues but I was able to put those to bed. I was paying bills while she took on the mortgage and we ended up behind because I get disability and all my money was swallowed up and the leaches only added on to the bills making it impossible to keep up and we had to sell it before we defaulted on our loan. But her staying at random people homes and she's saying that she hasn't left me for another man is making me go insane. I'm starving Physically Emotionally Mentally and I can't break my vows but I need some attention and it's to the point where I'm getting tired.
 

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I'm not saying that I'm 100% innocent but I didn't do anything that would result in a separation.
Filling the house with in-laws mooching off of you IS valid reason for moving out.

She lost trust and respect in you for not sticking up for her and her rights and her financial stability in her own home.

I would have packed up too if my spouse had done that.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Filling the house with in-laws mooching off of you IS valid reason for moving out.

She lost trust and respect in you for not sticking up for her and her rights and her financial stability in her own home.

I would have packed up too if my spouse had done that.
It was her sister and her boyfriend. I moved my mom out and she refused to move her family out after she told me that she wanted them out. I did more than stick up for her, I was the one willing to help them get their own place. I'm not perfect but I did my part.
 

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It was her sister and her boyfriend. I moved my mom out and she refused to move her family out after she told me that she wanted them out. I did more than stick up for her, I was the one willing to help them get their own place. I'm not perfect but I did my part.
So it was your wife’s sister and BF? I misunderstood, I thought was your mom’s sister and BF.

Either way, having in-laws living in the house is always a big stressor, especially if they aren’t doing their share of the housework or paying their share of the bills.

Sometimes that stress and pain-in-the-buttness just pushes people over the edge and they end up holding it all against their partner.

Maybe she’s seeing some other dude(s) and maybe she isn’t. But either way the stress of having multiple families in one house is enough to push people over the edge even if some of them are her relatives.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
So it was your wife’s sister and BF? I misunderstood, I thought was your mom’s sister and BF.

Either way, having in-laws living in the house is always a big stressor, especially if they aren’t doing their share of the housework or paying their share of the bills.

Sometimes that stress and pain-in-the-buttness just pushes people over the edge and they end up holding it all against their partner.

Maybe she’s seeing some other dude(s) and maybe she isn’t. But either way the stress of having multiple families in one house is enough to push people over the edge even if some of them are her relatives.
So I can't see anyone because I am honoring my vows and my commitment but she can sleep at random people homes and I don't know what to do. I gave up six years to her and I sacrificed everything to make her happy. I made some mistakes, but I never cheated or even looked at another woman. I feel like everything I worked for was taken from me and I am not sure what I need to do
 

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So I can't see anyone because I am honoring my vows and my commitment but she can sleep at random people homes and I don't know what to do. I gave up six years to her and I sacrificed everything to make her happy. I made some mistakes, but I never cheated or even looked at another woman. I feel like everything I worked for was taken from me and I am not sure what I need to do
I’m not saying she is or isn’t getting with other dudes.

I’m saying that a house full of mooching relatives is enough to put anyone over the edge.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
I’m not saying she is or isn’t getting with other dudes.

I’m saying that a house full of mooching relatives is enough to put anyone over the edge.
I was over the edge plenty of times with her and her family. I never treated them harshly or rude. I never just got up and left her alone while I go and sleep with or stay over other women houses. That is straight BS. Man suicide is on my mind. Six years and I am the only one being the good person? How?! Why must I be quiet about her family when she can tee off on my family who wasn't even in the house? Somebody make it make sense?
 

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Learn how to say NO!
You have had no boundary. Get some professional help.
your life looks like there are drug users hanging around.

say NO to everyone who tries to mooch off you!
Learn to are for yourself and how to have a healthy home environment! This should be your safe place!
 
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