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"kissing" did not mean "kissing." Kissing meant most everything else. She holds firm that no sex took place, but I am of no illusion. Polygraph will help put an end to this.Posted via Mobile Device
No it won't. I hope you are not hedging all your bets on it. I'm quite surprised at the number of times "Polygraph" comes up on TAM. The scientific community can't agree on its accuracy. If you don't believe me, look it up on the internet. There is a reason why courts don't allow it without tight stipulations.

Don't you think you are beyond the "Did they or didn't they" already? Your wife is deep in an affair. We are talking baby making deep. What makes you think she can dump him at the drop of a hat because you demand it? As some of the other posters have rightly pointed out, she is still talking to friends like the other man is still part of her life. That doesn't sound like its just going to blow over buddy.

I know you believe the timeline says that the baby is yours. How can you be so sure? It's your perogative to wait for DNA until after birth. I hope you have the strength for that.

I'm not trying to beat on you. It just looks your wife is treating you like a chump and you are letting her.
 
Worse than finding them in your bed? i think that is way more serious but you are right. It's cheating so you have the right to feel upset.

What she did was very inappropriate but i would not leave my husband. If you can be sure that there was just a kiss then it's worth saving your marriage because she didn't give anyone what belongs to you yet. Since they didn't proceed onto the next stage, ( assuming they didn't) i think your marriage is well worth saving.

My opinion.
 
Patti, read his latest posts. It appears to have progressed beyond kissing, though she now insists that there was no PIV.

What would your deal-breaker be? Based on your threads, I'd think that an HJ or oral would be grounds for divorce for you... Right?
 
Patti, read his latest posts. It appears to have progressed beyond kissing, though she now insists that there was no PIV.

What would your deal-breaker be? Based on your threads, I'd think that an HJ or oral would be grounds for divorce for you... Right?
:iagree:
STD test for sure. I mean there was some heavy sexting going on how he was going to coparent WTF.
And think as he kisses his w and she gave him a bj, gross.
 
Discussion starter · #128 ·
No it won't. I hope you are not hedging all your bets on it. I'm quite surprised at the number of times "Polygraph" comes up on TAM. The scientific community can't agree on its accuracy. If you don't believe me, look it up on the internet. There is a reason why courts don't allow it without tight stipulations.

Don't you think you are beyond the "Did they or didn't they" already? Your wife is deep in an affair. We are talking baby making deep. What makes you think she can dump him at the drop of a hat because you demand it? As some of the other posters have rightly pointed out, she is still talking to friends like the other man is still part of her life. That doesn't sound like its just going to blow over buddy.

I know you believe the timeline says that the baby is yours. How can you be so sure? It's your perogative to wait for DNA until after birth. I hope you have the strength for that.

I'm not trying to beat on you. It just looks your wife is treating you like a chump and you are letting her.
I don't think it is a fair assessment that I am letting her treat me like a chump. I do not have blinders on. I have posted a consistent play-by-play to what is taking place in my life. I am not choosing the words that I use in these posts to sugar coat her actions or what is going on. I have chosen my words to try and be concise in my posts.

When I say things like "wasn't just kissing, it was just about everything else" what I mean is:
- his penis did not penetrate her vagina, but his fingers did
- no oral sex, but mutual masturbation until ejaculation
- heavy kissing and touching everywhere

Did I get this from VARS? No, this information I received from her. Can I be sure that this is everything? No. But the above is pretty explicit and involves almost "everything else." Also, I'm aware that "sex" means more than intercourse. But for the sake of posting on this board, I used the term "sex" to mean "intercourse."

At this point, the polygraph is just an exercise in principle. I'm not going to learn anything through the polygraph that is vastly different from where we stand right now. The questions that I'm planning on using:

(1) During the weekend of May 10, 2014 did you have sexual intercourse with XXX?
(2) From June 2010 to May 2014, did you have a sexual encounter with anyone other than your husband?
(3) Is your husband the father of your child?
(4) Since May 14, 2014 have you had any contact with XXX?

People keep posting about getting a paternity test prior to my name going on the birth certificate. Let me reiterate one more time: this doesn't matter in the state that I reside. I'm not hemming / hawing as to whether I should do this or not...I'm doing it. But it legally does not help me to do this now. Could I do the procedure now and have the knowledge? Sure. But I still have to jump through the same legal hoops once the child is born and get another test done...so I'm just choosing not to do the test 2x. No matter what my actions now, my name is going on that birth certificate whether rightly or wrongly. In the state that I reside, when a child is conceived in a legal marriage between a man / woman the husband is presumed to be the child's father. Why? The STATE is "looking after the best interest of the child" and is doing so by establishing "a financial custodian" of the child immediately after birth (ie: the husband). My name goes onto the birth certificate until THE STATE can prove that I am not financially responsible for the child.

If the child ends up not being mine, then I can sue the real father for any financial assistance that I provided to the child from birth until his paternity is established.
 
I don't think it is a fair assessment that I am letting her treat me like a chump. I do not have blinders on. I have posted a consistent play-by-play to what is taking place in my life. I am not choosing the words that I use in these posts to sugar coat her actions or what is going on. I have chosen my words to try and be concise in my posts.

When I say things like "wasn't just kissing, it was just about everything else" what I mean is:
- his penis did not penetrate her vagina, but his fingers did
- no oral sex, but mutual masturbation until ejaculation
- heavy kissing and touching everywhere

Did I get this from VARS? No, this information I received from her. Can I be sure that this is everything? No. But the above is pretty explicit and involves almost "everything else." Also, I'm aware that "sex" means more than intercourse. But for the sake of posting on this board, I used the term "sex" to mean "intercourse."

At this point, the polygraph is just an exercise in principle. I'm not going to learn anything through the polygraph that is vastly different from where we stand right now. The questions that I'm planning on using:

(1) During the weekend of May 10, 2014 did you have sexual intercourse with XXX?
(2) From June 2010 to May 2014, did you have a sexual encounter with anyone other than your husband?
(3) Is your husband the father of your child?
(4) Since May 14, 2014 have you had any contact with XXX?

People keep posting about getting a paternity test prior to my name going on the birth certificate. Let me reiterate one more time: this doesn't matter in the state that I reside. I'm not hemming / hawing as to whether I should do this or not...I'm doing it. But it legally does not help me to do this now. Could I do the procedure now and have the knowledge? Sure. But I still have to jump through the same legal hoops once the child is born and get another test done...so I'm just choosing not to do the test 2x. No matter what my actions now, my name is going on that birth certificate whether rightly or wrongly. In the state that I reside, when a child is conceived in a legal marriage between a man / woman the husband is presumed to be the child's father. Why? The STATE is "looking after the best interest of the child" and is doing so by establishing "a financial custodian" of the child immediately after birth (ie: the husband). My name goes onto the birth certificate until THE STATE can prove that I am not financially responsible for the child.

If the child ends up not being mine, then I can sue the real father for any financial assistance that I provided to the child from birth until his paternity is established.
Sorry bro. This sux BIG time. Did you know the extent of their interaction prior to posting this? Cause referring to that as "kissing" or "emotional affair" is really...well...not accurate. That's a full blown physical affair IMHO. How long till the baby is due? Continue with the planned Poly. I wasn't a big fan of paternity test in utero, but you may want to consider it and here is why. Child birth is extremely emotional. You don't want to go through all this only to find out that the kid isn't yours. Could be very hard for you.
 
(2) From June 2010 to May 2014, did you have a sexual encounter with anyone other than your husband?

Is likely insufficiently clear. Define sexual encounter closer. Dont be Clinton'ed here.

Sorry to hear that. When did she admit this? Last I heard it was EA (post 29 when I said it was likely a ploy to be near him). Trying to get down the logistics of the trickle truth part.

Did he come to her (let me guess hotel) or her to LV?
 
OP; I'm wishing you good thoughts here. You are a strong man and you don't deserve this. I can't imagine cheating on my man, and I am absolutely agog that she could while carrying your child.

In the final analysis, you'll have to decide to stay or move on. The trust once broken cannot really be reestablished and this is truly awful behavior.

There are many good women out there who would be honored to be your wife and who would honor you with fidelity and love.
 
This is one of those situations where you just want to tell this woman that what she has done is simply disgusting, no matter what did or did not happen. How can a pregnant, married woman allow herself to behave in such a way?

Its mind boggling that a person can have such a lack of respect for the hallowed institutions of marriage and motherhood. There needs to be a stronger word than "selfish" for this. Maybe "self-focused-to-the-point-of-obliviousness-that-any-other-life-form-exists-or-has-feelings-or-importance".
 
At this point, the polygraph is just an exercise in principle. I'm not going to learn anything through the polygraph that is vastly different from where we stand right now.
Please understand that the polygraph is MUCH MORE than just an exercise in principle. It is a lesson - and a study - in psychology. There is SO MUCH that goes on when a polygraph is introduced into the equation. SO much more.
 
When I say things like "wasn't just kissing, it was just about everything else" what I mean is:
- his penis did not penetrate her vagina, but his fingers did
- no oral sex, but mutual masturbation until ejaculation
- heavy kissing and touching everywhere
(Sarcasm On) Wow, just like in high school. No wonder she likes being with him, he makes her feel young again. (Sarcasm Off)

Is there a reason that this has not been moved to the infidelity section?
 
Kisssed?

Affairs bring out the porn version of wives. When I was in college, I hooked up with a woman who told me she was separated (I later think she may have been lying). She literally couldnt just kiss, instead she behaved literally like an actor from the "milf" category of p0rnhub.

Point is, she didnt just kiss him.
Affairs bring out the 'porn-version' of both men and women in general.

Things they want to do with their own wives, but can't/won't...so they target someone else's wife and it all becomes one big 'porn-go-round'.
 
Discussion starter · #140 · (Edited)
Sorry bro. This sux BIG time. Did you know the extent of their interaction prior to posting this? Cause referring to that as "kissing" or "emotional affair" is really...well...not accurate. That's a full blown physical affair IMHO. How long till the baby is due? Continue with the planned Poly. I wasn't a big fan of paternity test in utero, but you may want to consider it and here is why. Child birth is extremely emotional. You don't want to go through all this only to find out that the kid isn't yours. Could be very hard for you.
I have posted info on here as it has become available to me. I posted kissing when that is all that she would fess up to. I posted "everything else" when I found it out it was more.

As for why I posted as emotional affair: I found out the affair 10 days ago. When I wrote my initial post, the thoughts going through my head were "...it doesn't sound like a full blown physical affair yet, so emotional affair seems appropriate...and an emotional affair should be easier for me to handle than a physical affair..." That was an incorrect assessment. In the 10 days since I found out, the depths is this emotional affair continue to astound me. Yes, it turned physical but the emotions exchanged between my wife and OM are going to make recovery from this very difficult.

As for the paternity test being done prior to the child being born just to lessen the emotional impact - fair point. But I'm probably not going to go down that route. I have a plan in place and the paternity test is the conclusion of the 6-month plan...not the opening act.
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