Hello,
I have been married to my husband for 4 years and I can't stop causing problems in our relationship because I can't seem to let go of my past that I regret. I had a few relationships that were physical and I regret having them. I am a christian and I should have waited until marriage. However, I remember images and memories of those relationships and I feel guilty that I do. So guilty that it causes me to worry about thinking about them. I definitely don't want to feel like I am lusting after my past relationships. So I worry about thinking about them and accidentally lusting. This worry controls me and I feel like if I didn't worry about it, that it wouldn't have such a strong hold over me. But it is hard for me to let go, because I feel that I have to do everything perfect (my actions). I over analyze every situation in my daily life and if I feel that I haven't done things quite like they should have, the worry and regret ruminate in my mind, making me feel depressed and guilty. Has anyone ever felt like this? I don't know what to do and my husband doesn't want to stay married to me.
I have been married to my husband for 4 years and I can't stop causing problems in our relationship because I can't seem to let go of my past that I regret. I had a few relationships that were physical and I regret having them. I am a christian and I should have waited until marriage. However, I remember images and memories of those relationships and I feel guilty that I do. So guilty that it causes me to worry about thinking about them. I definitely don't want to feel like I am lusting after my past relationships. So I worry about thinking about them and accidentally lusting. This worry controls me and I feel like if I didn't worry about it, that it wouldn't have such a strong hold over me. But it is hard for me to let go, because I feel that I have to do everything perfect (my actions). I over analyze every situation in my daily life and if I feel that I haven't done things quite like they should have, the worry and regret ruminate in my mind, making me feel depressed and guilty. Has anyone ever felt like this? I don't know what to do and my husband doesn't want to stay married to me.