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Why do I need to my partner if his mother is basically his partner just without sex. They are so close, they talk about everything, even when we don’t live with her, she calls his 3/4 times a day.
I don’t understand my role in this relationship
However he always says he loves me
 

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If that is you in the picture you should really change it to protect your anonymity.
 
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Your place in all of this is to 'to give birth' to their(!)/her new child/partnersubstitute.
Very simple. You are a surrogate.
I once dated or was in a relationshiop with a grandmummy-mummy's boy.
There was not just a mother, but also a grand mother and they influenced his 'manhood'...
And it can cover more than only one generation.

But actually the grandmother was in their way. He was relieved when she died. I was inthe way also to some extend, but I had a purpose, therefore I was tolerated to some extend in this co-existence...

We once went out to eat with his mother-wife and his grand mother. I had to sit next to the grand mother while he seated himself next to his mother. And while he sat down he looked at me like he was saying 'I am going to kill you, if you dare complaining... It was creeeepyyy!!!! 😬
And I was really scared.

Ond day he came home and told me that his mother/wife was asking when she is going to become a grandmother.
This scenario popped up in my mind. I saw them going for a walk pushing the pram with their new born baby in it, which I gave birth to.

If you ask yourself noe, why I am not in the scene myself, it is because I am most likely at home with all the aftermaths of the pregnancy and the burden of the house hold, while they enjoy their new baby...

She also shared all her female stuff with him. Like Period and Menopause. All the things boys want to talk about with their mother. And then he told me all of it, as if to get validation from me that all of this was totally normal to talk about between mother and son...

No way! This was crazy man. I didn't say anything to him, but it was clear to me that I will never get pregnant by this guy and that I am going to leave him!
And guess what! I did. Lucky escape!

There are more horrible stories including his incapability to build up a significant bond to any other woman, his paranoia because all women are like his mother and his grandmother, both who he kind of hated and loved at once ...

What those mothers are doing is de-masculating their sons, and sons have different ways to adapt to this situation. In no way do they turn out to become good partners to other women, unless the woman is some sort of clone of theor mother and their mother is already dead. I don't know....

Familiarise yourself with Oedypuss... It is an old wisdom and I have seen it with my own eyes...

Good luck!
 

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Why do I need to my partner if his mother is basically his partner just without sex. They are so close, they talk about everything, even when we don’t live with her, she calls his 3/4 times a day.
I don’t understand my role in this relationship
However he always says he loves me
Your role in the relationship IS just to have sex with him. The longer I've been on this forum, the more I realize that especially in recent generations, that's the main reason a lot of men ever partner up. Other than that they have porn and video games to keep them entertained. I wouldn't be comfortable with that amount of attachment. It's something that will likely become a problem once you have children. I think you should put everything like that on hold for a while.
 

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Your role in the relationship IS just to have sex with him. The longer I've been on this forum, the more I realize that especially in recent generations, that's the main reason a lot of men ever partner up. Other than that they have porn and video games to keep them entertained. I wouldn't be comfortable with that amount of attachment. It's something that will likely become a problem once you have children. I think you should put everything like that on hold for a while.
Children? I suppose, but this is a gay couple, two men. Not sure if you realized that.
 

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Children? I suppose, but this is a gay couple, two men. Not sure if you realized that.
Gay men are having children these days. It did cross my mind it might be a gay couple. The answer would have been the same regardless. In my experience with gay friends in the distant past, there often was one who was very serious about having a domestic marriage type relationship and one who wasn't taking it all that seriously for whatever the reason. I was just glad to hear the OP refer to a partner instead of husband, because that means it will be easier to leave if it comes to that.
 

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Run! These are very unhealthy relationships with no boundaries. You will always be the outsider/squeezed out.
A mama’s boy is tough… you would essentially never feel #1. You’d always be low on the priority. It will feel that you are being disrespected often - because that’s what will be happening.
 

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OK, in this case of you guys being gay your purpose is to provide sex.

I didn't see your profile pic properly on my phone. Sorry.

I never thought about this issue of a mummy boy situation in the context of a gay relationship. But yeah, its all the same you are just decoration and a source of energy he can then waste on her.

If he has to choose between you and his mother, he would choose her over you and he wouldn't waste a second thinking about you. You are worse nothing compared to his mother. No one is. Even if he would have children. He would throw them from a cliff if it was for his mother.

She trained him since he was a child to care about her emotional needs. What he is doing is not his soley choice. This was the only way for him to keep her attention and to survive.
You have to think of it from the perspective of a child. They depend on the love and attention of their parents.
Was his mother a single mum?
Any way, the father was absent. Emotionally or physically.

The mother was and still is a needy egoist and her dependend child was the perfect source for whatever emotional needs she had. Even more the older it became. He has been conditioned to her mind set. Its done. The imprint is there for ever.

And once mummy dies. Oh no.

I recommand the film 'Psycho' by Alfred Hitchcock.

My ex loved to watch it with his mother. It is creepy as they didn't seem to realise that they were looking into a mirror!!! 🥴
But here we go. Those people lack the ability to selfreflect.
Hence, they make terrible partners.
 
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