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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
During my 14 years of marriage, my mother and my X DID NOT get along. In fact there were times I had to physically separate them.

I am now divorced 3 years and re-married. My mother has now alienated me and my wife and is constantly hanging around my X. In fact just today, the reason for this post, my mother took my X out to lunch for her birthday with my 2 kids!:mad:

My mother has never been happy with any woman I have been with. I am an only child and my father left when I was 5. I am now almost 44.

This is starting to cause issues between my kid, my wife and I…help.
 

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You really do need to look at this differently.

Your x is the mother of your children. Your mother wants to keep a good relationship with the children so being good to her mother is a good thing. It’s actually a good thing that she and your x have put aside their differences and can now interact on a friendly level.

What your mother did, take your children out to celebrate their mother's birthday, will contribute to your children learning how to be good people who think of others on special occasions. It will also show them the right way to handle things after a divorce. There is no need for the anger to continue and poison everyone.

Your current wife needs to realize that she married a man with children. That means that there is an ex in the picture who will be there your entire life. She is the mother of your children. It’s only right that your mother would have some kind of relationship with the mother of her grandchildren. Frankly it’s none of your wife’s business what your mother and your ex do.

Why would you and your wife blow this up into something that causes trouble with your children?

What have you and your wife told your children about going to lunch with their mother and grandmother?
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
We have not told them anything as I just found this out 30 min ago...I'm upset becasue we have invited her to our home many times and she always has a reason not to come over...I agree that it's good for my mother to have a relationship with my kids, but to treat me and my wife horribly and then rub in my face that she hangs around my X just angers the he** out of me.
 

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We have not told them anything as I just found this out 30 min ago...I'm upset becasue we have invited her to our home many times and she always has a reason not to come over...I agree that it's good for my mother to have a relationship with my kids, but to treat me and my wife horribly and then rub in my face that she hangs around my X just angers the he** out of me.
Tell your mother how all of this has affected you. That's really all you can do at this point.
 

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We have not told them anything as I just found this out 30 min ago....
They why did you say that this is causing trouble with your children?

I'm upset becasue we have invited her to our home many times and she always has a reason not to come over...I agree that it's good for my mother to have a relationship with my kids, but to treat me and my wife horribly and then rub in my face that she hangs around my X just angers the he** out of me.
We need more info on the issues your mother has with you and your wife.

What you are doing here is using a scale with your ex on one side and your new wife on the other. Weighing this one against the other. That has to stop as it's not a contest between the two of them. Separate the issues and it will be easier to solve them.
 

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LOL.

I think about my own mother... my brother has 7 kids from ages 3 to 19. 4 different mothers, only one is his current wife.

Imagine the hoops and nicey nice she has to play to see her grandkids? If my brother is pissed off about it he can go kick rocks. She's just working around his messes so she can see those babies.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Regarding my boys, I feel they are becoming very confused seeing my mom with my X. Coming over for dinner...taking them out to lunch...I will try to type more about my mother and my wife in a few....
 

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Regarding my boys, I feel they are becoming very confused seeing my mom with my X. Coming over for dinner...taking them out to lunch...I will try to type more about my mother and my wife in a few....
I too don't see any reason why the chidlren would be confused about your mother going over to their mother's for dinner, lunch or anything.

They are not confused. They know who their mother is and who their grand mother is.

Just because you divorced your wife does not mean that everyone else in the family has to turn their back on your ex.

More importantly is how did things with your current wife go down hill? What happened?
 

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OH! that's right, you're the one with the batsh!tcrazy wife who forbids you to travel etc...

Maybe your mother is trying to subtly tell you something. You threw away the good apple for a rotten one.
 

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During my 14 years of marriage, my mother and my X DID NOT get along. In fact there were times I had to physically separate them.

I am now divorced 3 years and re-married. My mother has now alienated me and my wife and is constantly hanging around my X. In fact just today, the reason for this post, my mother took my X out to lunch for her birthday with my 2 kids!:mad:

My mother has never been happy with any woman I have been with. I am an only child and my father left when I was 5. I am now almost 44.

This is starting to cause issues between my kid, my wife and I…help.
Get over it. Sorry, but that's all you've got. She's your momma and she is going to be friends with anybody she damn well chooses.

Your ex is family. She's the mother of her grandkids, and somewhere along the lines they formed a bond. You've got no choice but to deal with it.
 

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Get your wife to have a nice party for the children and invite her friends and relatives who have children and grandchildren. Make it a real nice party. Invite the MIL and the X. Stir and enjoy.
 
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