Hi all,
This is my first post here, and I am just hoping to get some third party/unbiased advice and perspective about my marriage.
A month ago my husband sat down with me and told me he needed to leave the marriage. That he was unhappy, had been unhappy for awhile and that he loved me, but was no longer in love with me. While I knew our marriage was not perfect, this was a complete shock. I had no idea he was not happy, no idea he was considering divorce. In fact, that was the first time the "d" word had been brought up EVER. I was, understandably, devastated. We have been married for 6 years and have been with him since I was 21 years old (he is 33, just for reference, and I am now 29).
After the talk he left and went to spend the night with friends. The following day we talked more and he agreed to seek counceling and not make any permanant decisions for at least 30 days - I was wondering if he might be suffering from depression or something along those lines. He slept on the couch for a week, and things were super ackward. But slowly we started getting into a rhythm again. He came back to bed. We started making plans and going and doing things together. We laughed and held hands. He even said that he was feeling much more optimistic about our marriage. He bought tickets to a concert in March - for us to attend together.
Then last night he told me that he is no longer sexually attracted to me, and that he is not arroused by me. He cried when he told me, and told me that he loves me very much, but he does not want to have sex with me. I have gained a lot of weight since we were married, so I get it. I know he is not doing it to be an ass. Unfortunately I have struggled with an eating disorder for many years and have a condition (PCOS) that makes weightloss hard. I am in counseling for myself and my eating issues, and am determined to lose the weight. But do you think my marriage can be saved?
We fight, but not all the time. I would say a healthy amount. We are best friends, and have a blast all the time.
No infidelity.
Same life goals for the most part and same outlook on life, religion, politics ect (with enough very minor differences to make it interesting)
I am just so lost. My marriage was always something I thought I could count on. I just don't know where to go from here.
This is my first post here, and I am just hoping to get some third party/unbiased advice and perspective about my marriage.
A month ago my husband sat down with me and told me he needed to leave the marriage. That he was unhappy, had been unhappy for awhile and that he loved me, but was no longer in love with me. While I knew our marriage was not perfect, this was a complete shock. I had no idea he was not happy, no idea he was considering divorce. In fact, that was the first time the "d" word had been brought up EVER. I was, understandably, devastated. We have been married for 6 years and have been with him since I was 21 years old (he is 33, just for reference, and I am now 29).
After the talk he left and went to spend the night with friends. The following day we talked more and he agreed to seek counceling and not make any permanant decisions for at least 30 days - I was wondering if he might be suffering from depression or something along those lines. He slept on the couch for a week, and things were super ackward. But slowly we started getting into a rhythm again. He came back to bed. We started making plans and going and doing things together. We laughed and held hands. He even said that he was feeling much more optimistic about our marriage. He bought tickets to a concert in March - for us to attend together.
Then last night he told me that he is no longer sexually attracted to me, and that he is not arroused by me. He cried when he told me, and told me that he loves me very much, but he does not want to have sex with me. I have gained a lot of weight since we were married, so I get it. I know he is not doing it to be an ass. Unfortunately I have struggled with an eating disorder for many years and have a condition (PCOS) that makes weightloss hard. I am in counseling for myself and my eating issues, and am determined to lose the weight. But do you think my marriage can be saved?
We fight, but not all the time. I would say a healthy amount. We are best friends, and have a blast all the time.
No infidelity.
Same life goals for the most part and same outlook on life, religion, politics ect (with enough very minor differences to make it interesting)
I am just so lost. My marriage was always something I thought I could count on. I just don't know where to go from here.