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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Hello My name is Sarah. I have been married for 7 years.I love my husband so much but our sex life with my husband has become monotonous.He started making different requests.he wants to imagine me with another man.I don't say anything to him even though I'm so embarrassed.I feel weird.
 

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Hello My name is Sarah. I have been married for 7 years.I love my husband so much but our sex life with my husband has become monotonous.He started making different requests.She wants to imagine me with another man.I don't say anything to him even though I'm so embarrassed.I feel weird.
So, is his intent to masturbate to these thoughts, or to role play as another man, or does he actually want you to have sex with another man? All three things have a different impact.

Also if that is your legal name, you might want to consider changing your ID.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
So, is his intent to masturbate to these thoughts, or to role play as another man, or does he actually want you to have sex with another man? All three things have a different impact.

Also if that is your legal name, you might want to consider changing your ID.
dont know.I think if he had the opportunity he would want to share me with someone else.

İts not legal name :)
 

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It is a big jump to go from monotonous right to a threesome or cuckhold. Have you talked to him about how this makes you uncomfortable and maybe suggest something to spice it up without involving another person?

Check out this site. Lots of great ideas to spice up your sex life while remaining solidly monogamous.

 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
It is a big jump to go from monotonous right to a threesome or cuckhold. Have you talked to him about how this makes you uncomfortable and maybe suggest something to spice it up without involving another person?

Check out this site. Lots of great ideas to spice up your sex life while remaining solidly monogamous.

I don't know how this will change our life.Thank you for link
 

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I am afraid that if I reject this idea outright, he will cheat on me with someone else.
That isn't logical thinking.

For one, unless you failed to say it, he hasn't actually asked to share you with another man, correct? He has only said he wants to imagine (fantasize) about you being with another man. Those are two vastly different situations. So are you rejecting the idea of actually being with another man or are you rejecting the idea of allowing him to fantasize about it? You can't stop him from fantasizing, but you are completely within your rights to refuse to be with another man.

And as for cheating, why do you conclude that is what he would do? Even if he does want to physically share you he won't get that if he goes out and cheats. You've been married to him for 7 years. You should know him well enough to decide if you think he is the cheating type or not.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
That isn't logical thinking.

For one, unless you failed to say it, he hasn't actually asked to share you with another man, correct? He has only said he wants to imagine (fantasize) about you being with another man. Those are two vastly different situations. So are you rejecting the idea of actually being with another man or are you rejecting the idea of allowing him to fantasize about it? You can't stop him from fantasizing, but you are completely within your rights to refuse to be with another man.

And as for cheating, why do you conclude that is what he would do? Even if he does want to physically share you he won't get that if he goes out and cheats. You've been married to him for 7 years. You should know him well enough to decide if you think he is the cheating type or not.
if he can dream it, he may want the idea in reality.I don't know what to say if he offers me a day.and if i do we might want to continue this
 

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...our sex life with my husband has become monotonous...
I take it you are happy with your sex life & it is only monotonous for your husband?

I don't know how this will change our life.Thank you for link
They might spice your sex life up a little in a safe manner.

...if he offers me a day.and if i do we might want to continue this...
Is this a typo or a Freudian slip?

Seriously, open your mind a little, not saying a threesome would be a good idea (although it might), or forming an intimate relationship with another couple would be a good idea (although it might), explore role play, toys, etc. Tell him you want to try pegging :)

Seriously, if you are going to be married for 20, 30, 40 years the same-old same-old might get a little boring. Be open-minded & prudent.
 

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In France THIS is becoming more and more poplar ,
normally they say it is the husbands that are the first to bring this up in the relationship
it can start by just night time talk before or after sex , some men seem to get turned on by the idea of their wife with another man
some even like the idea of the woman with a better lover ,
there ARE FORUMS THAT ONLY TAKE ABOUT THIS but most of them seem to be very extreme.

the first time a man brings this up to his wife or gf she thinks that he wants more sex and he wants to cheat
but most of the men never have sex with another
many stay at home they even help the wife pick out outfits for the night out with the other man
they even drive the wife to the other mans hotel or bar and stay outside

all they get out of it is the knowing that their wife is having hot sex with a better lover
there are men that call them selves a bull
all so a big part of this is hearing every detail about what happened after
some wife's send a photo of the man or a photo of the mans privets to their husband

I have a friend that meets a woman in this way the wife is into some type of BDSM and her husband is not
so they found this man that is divorce man he see no other women
he is into all types of BDSM as he showed me and my wife his COLLECTION of toys
thinks that I or my wife could never imagine but this is his thing

ANY WAY getting back to the question
some women like the husband to find the man or bull
often men seem to pick a friend I think this is a bad idea
as boss I worked for once said as advice to me

never shyt on your own doorstep
better to find someone that can be trusted
i once read a story about a man that had this dream life style
and they were friends with another couple for 12 years
they lived 10km apart and often meet up for drinks the other couple got divorce and
the idea of sharing the wife came up , it is a long story of how this second relationship if you can call it a relationship
went on
it ended with the bull finding a woman and things went back to normal except
the odd man that they used for one night stands
then they came across a man that was again a more regular contact
FOR WANT of a better way to say it but any way she used to see this man once or twice a month
it ended after a few years as the bull died of cancer

as others have said this is not a way for your husband to get the door open to cheat
this is some thing that some men want
I don't know what is their reason why or behind it some want to watch they sit in the room and watch their wife with another man
some want photos or video some just like the idea of their wife been a bad girl
some men end up with the wife placing her husbands d--- in a cage

as I said it is most often the men that want this but often after the wife gets a teast of it
she takes over and it is the wife that is in the driving seat
most of the women that are into it once they dip their toe in never stop

at this time with covid and the idea of keeping safe from STI /:STD
BUT MANY PEOPLE SEEM TO GIVE A LONG TIME TALKING ABOUT THIS BEFORE THEY TRY IT
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
I take it you are happy with your sex life & it is only monotonous for your husband?


They might spice your sex life up a little in a safe manner.


Is this a typo or a Freudian slip?

Seriously, open your mind a little, not saying a threesome would be a good idea (although it might), or forming an intimate relationship with another couple would be a good idea (although it might), explore role play, toys, etc. Tell him you want to try pegging :)

Seriously, if you are going to be married for 20, 30, 40 years the same-old same-old might get a little boring. Be open-minded & prudent.
If I do won't I be a bad girl or my husband will see me like a *****.Won't I have turned myself into a *****
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
In France THIS is becoming more and more poplar ,
normally they say it is the husbands that are the first to bring this up in the relationship
it can start by just night time talk before or after sex , some men seem to get turned on by the idea of their wife with another man
some even like the idea of the woman with a better lover ,
there ARE FORUMS THAT ONLY TAKE ABOUT THIS but most of them seem to be very extreme.

the first time a man brings this up to his wife or gf she thinks that he wants more sex and he wants to cheat
but most of the men never have sex with another
many stay at home they even help the wife pick out outfits for the night out with the other man
they even drive the wife to the other mans hotel or bar and stay outside

all they get out of it is the knowing that their wife is having hot sex with a better lover
there are men that call them selves a bull
all so a big part of this is hearing every detail about what happened after
some wife's send a photo of the man or a photo of the mans privets to their husband

I have a friend that meets a woman in this way the wife is into some type of BDSM and her husband is not
so they found this man that is divorce man he see no other women
he is into all types of BDSM as he showed me and my wife his COLLECTION of toys
thinks that I or my wife could never imagine but this is his thing

ANY WAY getting back to the question
some women like the husband to find the man or bull
often men seem to pick a friend I think this is a bad idea
as boss I worked for once said as advice to me

never shyt on your own doorstep
better to find someone that can be trusted
i once read a story about a man that had this dream life style
and they were friends with another couple for 12 years
they lived 10km apart and often meet up for drinks the other couple got divorce and
the idea of sharing the wife came up , it is a long story of how this second relationship if you can call it a relationship
went on
it ended with the bull finding a woman and things went back to normal except
the odd man that they used for one night stands
then they came across a man that was again a more regular contact
FOR WANT of a better way to say it but any way she used to see this man once or twice a month
it ended after a few years as the bull died of cancer

as others have said this is not a way for your husband to get the door open to cheat
this is some thing that some men want
I don't know what is their reason why or behind it some want to watch they sit in the room and watch their wife with another man
some want photos or video some just like the idea of their wife been a bad girl
some men end up with the wife placing her husbands d--- in a cage

as I said it is most often the men that want this but often after the wife gets a teast of it
she takes over and it is the wife that is in the driving seat
most of the women that are into it once they dip their toe in never stop

at this time with covid and the idea of keeping safe from STI /:STD
BUT MANY PEOPLE SEEM TO GIVE A LONG TIME TALKING ABOUT THIS BEFORE THEY TRY IT
should i give my husband a chance.maybe it will be good for our sex life.I don't know it's hard:(
it's weird to imagine myself with two men
 

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If I do won't I be a bad girl or my husband will see me like a *.Won't I have turned myself into a *
i think they call it a HOTWIFE
you might be best to goggle it
 

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should i give my husband a chance.maybe it will be good for our sex life.I don't know it's hard:(
it's weird to imagine myself with two men
do you know where he wants to be when your are with another man
if that was to happen
is he the type that stays at home or is he the type that wants to which and then have sex after ,
there are many types of men ,
and many types of women
some are happy just doing this once a year or doing this for the summer time or the winter long nights some
it becomes a drug to them and replaces normal sex life
 

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Then why would you want to be with him? Did not give up your integrity for another person.
@Saramiller444, you said that you love him. This question "why would you want to be with him?" is good. First - it is excellent opportunity to understand your feeling, emotion to him. And you can take a break (one week - great). You need time to get to know yourself and clarify your thoughts in your own silence. Ask yourself "why I love him?" and "i hate my boyfriend?" - read https://calmerry.com/blog/relations/i-hate-my-bo yfriend-what-should-i-do/.
 

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I think that if you do not want this, then you do not need to agree. And I understand your fear that he will do it to someone else. But there is no guarantee that he will not do this with others, if you agree. In such situations, you need to either seek a compromise or disagree. Maybe offer him watching porn with a plot of his fantasies or using sex toys?
 

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Don't agree if you don't like the idea. And if your husband does not accept your answer and decides to fulfill his fantasies with others - why do you need such a husband?
 
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