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ok... so I desperately need advice on what to do. how to approach the situation without losing my sh*t at him like I do every time the subject comes up..

here is the situation...

we are newlyweds, been together for three years (living together for 2 1/2 years). October last year my husband decided to pack in his well paying job and start a gardening business.
Telling me I am never supportive of anything he does I decided to let him go and see.

suddenly the bills started piling up, my wage alone does not cover all the expenses that we have and he does not bring in much money.

He makes around $300-$400 a week, of which he gambles 95%. If I am lucky he might shout pizza on a Friday, but that is as far as his contribution goes. He's constantly sticking his hand out for petrol money, for lunch money, money to play golf and cigarettes.

Last week he took out $400 from our bank account and gambled it. It was our rent money and I was really really upset about it.
The next day I had to lend him $80 to get his work equipment out of the hock/pawn shop so that he could do his work. something that occurs around every 2-3 weeks.

Every time I bring up him not contributing and my sinking doing this alone he tells me that I am being selfish and starting a business takes alot of work and effort and everyone else supports him but me. I remind him that no one else knows whats happening, no one else has to fork out $100's of dollars a week to support him.

The thing that really gets on my nerves and really irritates me is that he wants to buy a ute for work. We have a wagon which we still owe $9k on which he uses so he doesnt need a new work car. He tells me he is going to buy one with his tax return cheque. I keep telling him that we need that money to go to our savings so that I can pay our bills but he tells me that all I care about is money and that I obsessed with it and am being selfish.

He wants, wants, wants and I am at my breaking point. I work in the city 5 days a week which is an hour 20min commute each way he works 3 days a week with breaks.

I just dont know what to do anymore... and I am way to embarrassed to talk to my family or friends about this because we have only been married for 3 months (!!). I should of realised the direction this was heading in before the wedding but I guess I thought things would change. They haven't, they are just worst then ever..

please help...
 

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The gambling is an addiction. You have a couple of options. Either he gets counseling or you leave. Or, you make sure he has NO funds. Put your pay check in another account (without his name on it)--so that you can pay bills. The current routine isn't going to solve the problem. You may need to use both options. I've been there (in a sense) with my estranged husband. We are beyond broke now. I can see what I should have done!

Hope you can quickly get the money drain stopped!
 

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i am in a similar situation with my fiance....she gambled alot and i was niave about it thinking she knew her limits....well now i find out she is in serious debt because of it....

we live together and i dont know what to do....she has stopped the gambling now for the past 6 months and is using 100% of her money to pay bills so im not sure if that is a good sign or not....

i think we both realized her problem too late....we are on the brink of losing the house now....
 

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I had the same problem with by bf before and I needed to pay for his debt. I took all my saving, overdrafted my account, cash my credit card .... this lasted for some months and everytime he asked for money, he said he would change but finally of coz, no. I loved him and I was stupid but fortunately, I have friendsss helping me, forcing me to leave him. They are right ! I don't know how he is now, but that was almost 20 years ago.

Leave him and start your new life iis my only advice before it's too late.
 

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When my wife was my girlfriend, she left me. Right after she did I went gambling and wasted 10k, and then we got back together and she helped me payback the debt. Since then we've had issues, short seperations and so on, but I choosed not to go gamble like that or even at all. Im greatful of her for sticking through the tough times, not many would. I guess she saw something that she decided to help me, what reason besides marriage is wanting you to help him out? Do you have kids?
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