Get rid of the sociopath/toxic friend. Only way you will find peace and a more stable marriage.
My husband has been out of the military for about a year. We are living with his parents since we have had financial problems. Now that my husband finally has a job where he makes enough money for us to afford a place to stay we will be moving into our own place soon. Unfortunately we will have to stay in and around this city, but we should be able to get at least about a half an hour away from where this friend lives.do you and your husband have options for moving from your current location to a different city? Or is your husband still in the military and perhaps will be transferred?
A move would separate you two from his friend.
If a move is not possible then you have to come to some understanding with your husband on how much this friend of his will be part of your lives. Might this finally come down to a decision for your husband between you or his friend?
I will have to ask my psychiatrist about that drug. The only major difficulty is that I have to be on a mood stabilizer as well to prevent me from having a hypo-manic or possibly a manic episode.For starters, it sounds like you should be taking phenelzine. It's an extremely powerful drug that has shown positive results for treating PTSD, social anxiety, and major depression. You need to ask for it by name. Doctors don't like suggesting it because it has so many serious drug interactions. It's serious enough that people taking it need to wear a bracelet saying they are taking it.
Secondly, start making up your own lies. After spending time with the psycho, mention to your husband that he looks you up and down every once in a while and he gets a little too close.
Something the friend in question attributes to a slip of the mind and refuses to admit that my husband is responsible for what he did. My husband and I decided to work it out.
This friend has got to go - it should not matter what he thinks, but you and your husband seem to care way to much -and it sounds like you husband can't hink for himself.
So I stayed home and he went out with his friends,one of them being the friend in question, to a crowded restaurant.
It was supposed to be a surprise for you and you stayed home because it was a trigger and he went out anyway? He is not remorseful. He is abusive.
The friend in question texted me and told me that if I wasn't going to tell him what was wrong I needed to shut up. I kept a screen shot of the message that I sent my husband because the friend in question has a habit of telling people that I send my husband abusive text messages. So I keep screen shots of everything that friend could possibly be offended by to cover my butt.
Umm...again - toxic friend and he is running your marriage - might as well be married to him too.
The waiting room was so packed that I could not be there. So I waited outside in the middle of the city by myself for about 30 minutes until my husband came out and told me that there was more room in the restaurant.
I went inside and sat on the opposite side of the waiting room because that was the only place where there were seats. I sat alone for a half an hour until my husband came over to me and told me that there were seats over where they were sitting.
I sat there and no one talked to me until my husband came over and asked me how I was doing and I told him I was mad at him for ignoring me, so he turned his back on me and started talking to his friends.
I sat there for a while and then I decided I was going to leave the restaurant and just take the bus home, because I was very anxious and was about to start bawling. So I left the restaurant and tried to find some money for the bus. Apparently my husband wanted to come after me but the friend in question told him not to and the friend in question came after me.
What?!?!?!?!?!?! If this is true (hard to belive), but if it is true, you don't need any more reson to know that your husband cares nothing about you. He did not want to come after you, or he would have. He seriouly needs help, and you seriously need to cut your ties. You sound young (living w/in-laws, playing D&D - I did that too w/boyfriend when I was 19 - 21....this is an evil twisted web of a realtionship between your husband and friend....perhaps his friend has a thing for him or you...he just sounds sick, but then again, so does your husband for doing this.
and now he's telling people that I yelled at him the whole 30 minute car ride. When in fact after that I did not say a word.
Toxic
I have seen the text messages that he sent.
He should not show you these -what is the reasn - to make you feel crazy? He is messing with you.
Sorry - but I think they are both playing you. You are not crazy, but what they are both doing to you will make you feel that way if you don't remove yourself soon. Get a plan together of where you could go, then tell your hubby that you love him, but he has not shown any remorse and he treats you like dirt. Tell him that you are not crazy, but his friend is - give instances like you mentiond above - then let him know that you do not know if it is his friends influence on him or his own choice to treat you like he does. No matter the reason, it is not good enough, and you are done. You want to be treated with respect, and if he can't s**t or get off the pot, you need to move on because YOU DO deserve better. Don't get weak and don't stand for crap he throws at you. Be strong and move on if need be.
My husband does tend to put himself having fun before anything else. For instance this weekend he's going with the local boy scout troop he's involved with to a lock in. The lock in cost 15 dollars, which we don't have, so he borrowed it from his friend (great someone else we owe money to). He also has to work the next morning.Something the friend in question attributes to a slip of the mind and refuses to admit that my husband is responsible for what he did. My husband and I decided to work it out.
This friend has got to go - it should not matter what he thinks, but you and your husband seem to care way to much -and it sounds like you husband can't hink for himself.
So I stayed home and he went out with his friends,one of them being the friend in question, to a crowded restaurant.
It was supposed to be a surprise for you and you stayed home because it was a trigger and he went out anyway? He is not remorseful. He is abusive.
The friend in question texted me and told me that if I wasn't going to tell him what was wrong I needed to shut up. I kept a screen shot of the message that I sent my husband because the friend in question has a habit of telling people that I send my husband abusive text messages. So I keep screen shots of everything that friend could possibly be offended by to cover my butt.
Umm...again - toxic friend and he is running your marriage - might as well be married to him too.
The waiting room was so packed that I could not be there. So I waited outside in the middle of the city by myself for about 30 minutes until my husband came out and told me that there was more room in the restaurant.
I went inside and sat on the opposite side of the waiting room because that was the only place where there were seats. I sat alone for a half an hour until my husband came over to me and told me that there were seats over where they were sitting.
I sat there and no one talked to me until my husband came over and asked me how I was doing and I told him I was mad at him for ignoring me, so he turned his back on me and started talking to his friends.
I sat there for a while and then I decided I was going to leave the restaurant and just take the bus home, because I was very anxious and was about to start bawling. So I left the restaurant and tried to find some money for the bus. Apparently my husband wanted to come after me but the friend in question told him not to and the friend in question came after me.
What?!?!?!?!?!?! If this is true (hard to belive), but if it is true, you don't need any more reson to know that your husband cares nothing about you. He did not want to come after you, or he would have. He seriouly needs help, and you seriously need to cut your ties. You sound young (living w/in-laws, playing D&D - I did that too w/boyfriend when I was 19 - 21....this is an evil twisted web of a realtionship between your husband and friend....perhaps his friend has a thing for him or you...he just sounds sick, but then again, so does your husband for doing this.
and now he's telling people that I yelled at him the whole 30 minute car ride. When in fact after that I did not say a word.
Toxic
I have seen the text messages that he sent.
He should not show you these -what is the reasn - to make you feel crazy? He is messing with you.
Sorry - but I think they are both playing you. You are not crazy, but what they are both doing to you will make you feel that way if you don't remove yourself soon. Get a plan together of where you could go, then tell your hubby that you love him, but he has not shown any remorse and he treats you like dirt. Tell him that you are not crazy, but his friend is - give instances like you mentiond above - then let him know that you do not know if it is his friends influence on him or his own choice to treat you like he does. No matter the reason, it is not good enough, and you are done. You want to be treated with respect, and if he can't s**t or get off the pot, you need to move on because YOU DO deserve better. Don't get weak and don't stand for crap he throws at you. Be strong and move on if need be.
Another example is when he went to boy scout camp I believe it was about 105$ for him to go, which we couldn't afford by itself, but it was also a week off of work which cost us around 300$. Long story short we couldn't pay our bills.
His friends defense for this action is that he was stressed out for having cheated on me so he needed a break. Where was my break?
I feel like my husband, who is older than me, is incredibly immature. I'm sick of people telling me oh he just got out of the Army (it's been a little over a year now), he needs to have my fun. Why do they think it's okay for him to have fun at my expense?
Part of the problem could be that none of his friends are married. They all seem to enable his behavior as well and call him a wimp whenever he asks me if he can do something. Though he chose his friends and he can choose to get rid of them.
I do love him, but I don't know how much longer I can stand to be mistreated and ignored.
I don't really have any options if I where to get a divorce I would have no where to live, I can't drive, and I have no way of making money.
My husband has looked up to his sociopath friend since middle school. I think that's why he controls my husband. That's why my husband listens to his advice on me even though his friend says he can't read me at all.
His friends advice since we have been married was to ignore me and my husband has pretty much fallowed his advice to a T.
I'm unsure of how much of this can be sorted out. I think it will just take a little more time and counselling.