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Hello!!
My husband and I have been happily married (until July 2nd) for 18 years. We have 4 kids. I actively caught him sexting with a man (I’m a woman) He was saying things I have never heard him say before. He says that he was just curious and that it will never happen again. They actually had plans to meet but my husband “chickened out”. We had a fantastic sex life I just do not know where to go from her.
 

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A MAN in our area meets with some times 1 man some times 2 around 7.30am , his wife does not know what is going on he is bi
 

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he's at least bi-curious. i know i wouldn't care if my wife was into women. that's just me.

how do YOU feel about it? do you view this as cheating?
you and your wife agree to her going out with women so that is not cheating AND you might even get a kick or turned on by it , for all I know you might be hoping your wife would bring her girl home for you to join them,
Very different to someone cheating
 

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he's at least bi-curious. i know i wouldn't care if my wife was into women. that's just me.

how do YOU feel about it? do you view this as cheating?
Same her.. If my ex was texting some girl naughty things, I'd say go for it, even if we were still married... I'd be divorced and in the same boat I'm in now, but it definitely would soften the blow.
 

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The difference is that few women are turned on by the idea of their husband with another guy. There’s usually a very strong “yuck” factor involved.
It’s almost as though men only care about fidelity when it touches their ego. That there is zero emotional component to sex for men in marriage. Kinda sounds like that if they don’t care if their wife sleeps around as long as it’s not another man. Just playing devil’s advocate.
 

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Cheating is cheating. But this is also him hiding something important about himself from you.

Him being curious is akin to me being curious as to what another woman's ***** feels like.

Both are huge cuts to a marriage...
 

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I’m not sure if he is cheating with men or if he is BI-curious and get turned on doing this. Has he mentioned swinging idea to you? Like with another couple? I don’t think its unusual to be curious. In pillow chat, we have both talked about being curious now and then. It’s when fantasy becomes reality that causes trouble. You two need a long talk with each other over a pot of coffee. Ask lotsa questions.
 

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How did he get his number to text? There’s a lot more to his story than he’s telling you. He either knows this guy or he’s online chatting up men and they exchanged numbers. Doesn’t sound like a one-time thing, rather a very intentional progression of events.

I would say the same if he were sexting with a woman. All the lying and sneaking around that he’s been doing to even get it to this point, is what’s scary. I’m sorry OP that you’re going through this but dig a little deeper and you’ll see that you might not know your husband as well as you think.
 

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How did he get his number to text? There’s a lot more to his story than he’s telling you. He either knows this guy or he’s online chatting up men and they exchanged numbers. Doesn’t sound like a one-time thing, rather a very intentional progression of events.

I would say the same if he were sexting with a woman. All the lying and sneaking around that he’s been doing to even get it to this point, is what’s scary. I’m sorry OP that you’re going through this but dig a little deeper and you’ll see that you might not know your husband as well as you think.
good points. Especially about number to text. Detective work next step.
 
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