Long long story short - I met my husband at 20, and his two sons (then 8 & 4) he was 25 and a busy man! We dated two years, were engaged for 2 years and now we are going on 3 years of marriage.
We built an empire out of his business, and we moved 1.5 hours away to be closer to it. I left my family and friends behind twice for him (once before he owned a business and once after). We bought a house together about a year and a half ago. Everything was fine.
I clearly missed something because we got in a small fight where I was frustrated that he doesn't pay attention to me because he's always away on business (yes truly away, I've gone with him before, it's not another woman). He told me I don't support him enough and I'm not appreciative enough. He threatened to leave and being honest - I convinced him to stay. I told him I didn't want to throw away a beautiful family and all that we've built over a stupid argument. That we are stronger and we are meant to be with each other. I truly believe that us even meeting and being together was literally 1 in a billion chances.
Its been a few days now, and he's still sleeping in our bed, still cuddling but not interested in kissing/sex/affection really. I am actively working on myself. I have identified what I need to fix, and have been doing everything I can do appreciate him. I am doing all the things I haven't done in a while... I have written love notes, made breakfast, made extra time for us, left him surprises, sent him nice messages, dressed up for a date night... I've made a serious effort. I also haven't criticized him or even really offered any opinions because I know he's frustrated. He says he doesn't want to be "persuaded". I told him to take some time and that I wouldn't talk directly about our issues again until he was ready. He's away all next week, so that will be his thinking time I guess.
I'm trying very hard to prove to him I'm working on myself for him but I'm terrified he's going to leave and we will lose the very strong marriage we had previously. Up until a few months ago everything was literally fine. Even two weeks ago things were fine - he just said he had a lightbulb moment and wants to be alone. I don't know how to tell him that I want to fix the lightbulb not replace the house, without "persuading him"
Sincerely, we had the best marriage - goofy and fun, so much affection and love, everyone told me how much we were perfect for each other... Now I feel like I'm drowning. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't do anything without breaking down.
I just keep thinking that I'm never going to see my stepsons again, and we'll lose the house and I will have to start rebuilding my life from scratch - all without the person I love so deeply and truly. He's my person.
Any advice would be so appreciated.
We built an empire out of his business, and we moved 1.5 hours away to be closer to it. I left my family and friends behind twice for him (once before he owned a business and once after). We bought a house together about a year and a half ago. Everything was fine.
I clearly missed something because we got in a small fight where I was frustrated that he doesn't pay attention to me because he's always away on business (yes truly away, I've gone with him before, it's not another woman). He told me I don't support him enough and I'm not appreciative enough. He threatened to leave and being honest - I convinced him to stay. I told him I didn't want to throw away a beautiful family and all that we've built over a stupid argument. That we are stronger and we are meant to be with each other. I truly believe that us even meeting and being together was literally 1 in a billion chances.
Its been a few days now, and he's still sleeping in our bed, still cuddling but not interested in kissing/sex/affection really. I am actively working on myself. I have identified what I need to fix, and have been doing everything I can do appreciate him. I am doing all the things I haven't done in a while... I have written love notes, made breakfast, made extra time for us, left him surprises, sent him nice messages, dressed up for a date night... I've made a serious effort. I also haven't criticized him or even really offered any opinions because I know he's frustrated. He says he doesn't want to be "persuaded". I told him to take some time and that I wouldn't talk directly about our issues again until he was ready. He's away all next week, so that will be his thinking time I guess.
I'm trying very hard to prove to him I'm working on myself for him but I'm terrified he's going to leave and we will lose the very strong marriage we had previously. Up until a few months ago everything was literally fine. Even two weeks ago things were fine - he just said he had a lightbulb moment and wants to be alone. I don't know how to tell him that I want to fix the lightbulb not replace the house, without "persuading him"
Sincerely, we had the best marriage - goofy and fun, so much affection and love, everyone told me how much we were perfect for each other... Now I feel like I'm drowning. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't do anything without breaking down.
I just keep thinking that I'm never going to see my stepsons again, and we'll lose the house and I will have to start rebuilding my life from scratch - all without the person I love so deeply and truly. He's my person.
Any advice would be so appreciated.