Ok, this is kind of long, but here it goes. My husband and I have been together for almost 9 years, 8 of those we've been married. We've had our share of ups and downs through the years, and he has been nothing but good to me throughout the duration of our relationship. I, on the other hand, have not been so good in return.....I have argued with him over every little thing, I've gotten angry for the stupidest of reasons, etc.....the list goes on and on. A few years back, I felt as though I was not receiving the level of attention that I should have been, and I decided to look elsewhere for that. I wound up having affairs with two of my ex-boyfriends (that didn't last long). I then lied about them up until a year ago when my husband found out. When I saw just how much it hurt him, it made me realize that I should not have done what I did and I vowed then and there to never hurt him again. We agreed to work through things. I started to see a counselor as well. He never went to counseling with me because he felt that he shouldn't have to go because all of the problems lied within me. He expected me to make the first step towards fixing our marriage, but I did not know what to do. Here we are, a year later, and now he is wanting a divorce. He says he does not love me and that our relationship was pretty much done a long time ago. We haven't even filed any paperwork yet and he is already seeing someone else, pretty much. I am completely distraught over this. I have acted so horribly and immaturely over the years and I never fully realized it until now. I know now what must be done to make things right again, but he will not even consider it. I love this man with all of my heart and I am kicking myself in the ass over everything I have done to him through time. I truly do want to make things right between us again, but I realize that I have to make things right with myself first. I am scared and confused.....I don't want to lose him. I love him so much, and I am a fool for the way I have been. I have agreed to start seeing a counselor again in hopes that it might help things. I've tried asking him if he would consider going with me, but he refuses. Is there any way that this marriage can be saved? What should I do?